Oral language development is a HUGE part of a child’s development! But the rate at which oral language develops is not merely about immersion and exposure. You can’t just turn a TV on or talk around babies in order for them to develop oral language, it’s all about being RESPONSIVE with interactions.
In an amazing book about children’s development called Nurture Shock, Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman explain in their chapter titled, “Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn’t” that,
“it’s not what a child hears from a parent, but what a parent accomplishes with a well-timed loving caress” (p. 207).
Babies developing oral language need us to notice when they are trying to communicate, to give them eye contact, to engage with them, and to respond to them. I like to call these moments baby conversations.
Baby Conversations
These mock conversations involve touch, eye contact, facial expression, and turn taking. Bronson and Merryman provide an example where,
“the baby coos, and daddy responds, ‘Is that so?’ The baby babbles again, and the daddy in jest returns, ‘Well, we’ll just have to ask Mom'” (p. 212).
Being a responsive parent means that you notice and pay attention to the cues that your baby is giving you and respond to them with vocalizations and touch.
In studies of language development, Bronson and Merryman discovered that,
“How often a mother initiated a conversation with her child was not predictive of the language outcomes – what mattered was, if the infant initiated, whether the mom responded” (p. 208).
When your baby is awake, alert, and looking around, get into a comfortable position about 12 inches from his or her face and simply make eye contact. Notice what your baby does. Does he kick his legs excitedly? Do his eyes light up with joy? Do you notice a hint of his first smile? Is he ready to make his first sound?
If he makes a sound, respond to it by nodding your head, smiling, rubbing his head or back, give his hand a squeeze, and say, “Good job!”. Then pause to give him a chance to talk again. Instead of chattering nonstop yourself (which I’ll admit, is tempting to do), continue this pause and respond conversation loop.
Bronson and Merryman also noticed that,
“While most parents seem to intuit their role in this turn-taking pattern spontaneously – without being told to do so by any handbook – they don’t all do so equally well. A remarkable study of vocal turn-taking found that when four-month-old infants and their parents exhibited better rhythmic coupling, those children would later have greater cognitive ability” (p.212).
Having better rhythmic coupling means that you are really in tune with your child, giving him or her an abundance of eye contact and plenty of chances for conversations.
Progression of Sounds
Baby babble may all sound like gibberish, but it follows a progression of overlapping sounds and each type of babble becomes more sophisticated than the one before. When parents notice that their babies are trying to make new sounds and respond to them, it encourages them to progress further.
It takes a year or more for babies to be able to control their vocal tract with no less than 80 muscles to control. There are five major stages of babbling development.
Phonation Stage – In the first two months of life, newborns will cry, cough, grunt, and sneeze, but these sounds do not involve the vocal cords like speech does. The larynx (or voice box), begins to practice the type of vibration necessary for true vowel sounds while the rest of the vocal tract is at rest. You’ll start to hear quasi-vowel sounds from your baby as this develops.
Gooing Stage – From 2-3 months of age, babies start to move their lips and tongue and consonant sounds start to emerge. At this stage, babies start to coordinate their gooing sounds with eye contact and are ready for baby conversations.
Expansion Stage – Beginning at 4-5 months, we start to hear fully resonant vowel sounds and babies explore pitch and intensity with squealing, yelling, growling, whispering, and my favorite…laughter!
Canonical Babbling – Around 6-7 months, the articulators, resonance, and voice become fully coordinated, and you’ll notice sounds that are real syllables. It starts out as repeated syllables but will soon transform into a mixture of consonant and vowel sounds. (It’s not so much that they are trying to say words as they are trying out sounds.) Sounds not in the child’s language will drop away while the commonly heard sounds are mastered. (This is why children who live in a bilingual household benefit from hearing both languages at a young age.)
Integrative or Jargoning Stage – The last stage typically begins between 10-15 months when real words mixed with complex babbling form jargon(or words that make sense in the context of what is happening). Intonation(the rise and fall of the voice while speaking) also develops so nonsense gibberish will sound like comments, questions, and commands. Gestures, body language, and eye contact are also involved. At this stage, children can understand far more than they can say.
Speech and language pathologist Deborah L. Bennett, M.S. CCC-SLP recommends that,
“If the stages of babbling are delayed or absent, or if first words do not emerge by 15 months, the baby should be referred to an early intervention speech and language pathologist for evaluation.”
In Conclusion
When you’re caring for a new tiny human, you’re also probably sleep deprived and worried about things like feeding, diaper changes, and keeping your baby from being fussy, but as babies leave the so called “4th trimester”, they crave more and more stimulation. By giving babies our full attention, eye contact, and presence during these very important baby conversations, their oral language development will grow quickly and progress from one stage to the next and before you know it, you’ll be hearing the beautiful sound of non-stop chatter.
https://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/baby-conversations.png400810Stacey Maaserhttps://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EM_Logo.pngStacey Maaser2017-09-16 15:52:452020-04-23 08:47:36Baby Conversations are an Important Part of Language Development
Last night while we were sitting around the campfire with some friends, I started digging out lint from my 4 month old son Jack’s toes. After one of my friends had a hair tourniquet around her son’s toes recently, I have been a bit paranoid about this happening, so whenever I hold him I pick the lint out of his toes and do a quick check.
When I looked down to check his little piggies, I was astounded to see a tightly wrapped hair around his middle toe. As luck would have it, my friend (the one who previously experienced the hair tourniquet on her son and is also studying to be a midwife) was sitting beside me, and we both quickly rushed inside to get some tools.
Once inside, she held Jack and armed with a needle, tweezers, and scissors, I attempted to free him from this invisible constriction. My first thought was to cut it with a pair of scissors or a knife if the hair was over the nail, but it was just at the cuticle line. Next, I tried to press down on the area below the hair with a needle hoping to slide it under and break the hair. When I did this, blood started to spill around the entire length of the hair.
I started to panic at this point realizing the seriousness of this infliction. Just then Scott came in, realized what was going on, and tried to see if there was a way that he could get at the hair. Thankfully at this point, Jack did not seem to be bothered, but I was already starting to panic when I said,
“We need to take him to the ER.”
We had hoped to stay up past dark and do some of our 4th of July fireworks early, so it was 8:30 and a bit past bedtime by the time we started pulling out of the driveway at our friend’s house. I dropped Scott off at home with the four older kids (10 minutes away) and took Jack to the ER (3 minutes away).
When I checked in, I was in a bit of a panic, but relieved that we would be in good hands, have some kind of anesthesia, and be able to get it taken care of. The nurse that assisted me in getting Jack’s vitals (a mother I knew from one of my son’s field trips) recalled her brother getting a hair tourniquet around his penis, which made the toe seem practically benign!
Being the researcher that I am, I read a medical article about removing hair tourniquets when Scott was driving us home so I knew our options would be dissolving the hair (although not really a possibility since his skin was broken), trying to get at it with more delicate instruments than I had access to, or giving him a local anesthetic and making a perpendicular incision.
When the doctor came in to check (about 9:00 p.m.), he decided that his first course of action would be to put a topical numbing agent on the toe and try to work it out with tweezers and small pliers. I had to hold Jack for about an hour (which was good because I was able to nurse him and get him to sleep) while they waited for the area to get numb.
I was hoping that Jack would be able to sleep through the procedure and that it would be done quickly. As I sat on the exam table holding Jack, his foot resting on the bed and held down my one of the nurses, I thought that this might be a possibility, but this was not quite the case. While his eyes remained closed and a pacifier hung from his mouth, he started to cry every time the pliers were used, and it was clear that the area was not very numb.
I tried to remain calm and hold my tongue for as long as I could, but after about 10 minutes of holding him down while he writhed in pain, I asked,
“Is there something else we can do?”
The doctor sat back, and I could tell this was traumatic for him too, but his mind was buzzing with protocol and logic knowing that now it was time to move on to phase two. He calmly explained what was going to happen next, and we prepared for the next phase.
As I’m writing this now, I don’t know if I can relive this memory again. My eyes are already welling with tears and I can feel myself starting to tremble. The next five hours were the most traumatic times of my entire life.
The entire time this is happening, I’m posting on FaceBook and texting my mom and husband to keep everyone in the loop. The support I was receiving really helped me to keep things under control, and I put myself in the mindset that this doctor knew what he was doing, and was going to do everything necessary to help Jack.
I didn’t know if I could look once I saw the needles and scalpels, but I wanted to be a voice for Jack, so while soothing him the best I could, I looked, and I saw everything.
Cutting Jack’s Toe
He was asleep when they started, but once the needle with the local anesthetic had to be injected into his toe numerous times, he woke up screaming bloody murder. After more pokes than I could count, I whisked him up to rock, bounce, and calm him down again knowing that if he was calm and numb it would be the best for everyone.
At this point, it’s about 10:30 p.m., and the small town hospital ER is a ghost town except for the doctor and three nurses in our room. As I prepared Jack in my lap and sat on the bed, I started thinking about the research that I had read on the way over and knew that now there would be an incision. I held onto Jack’s torso and when the doctor asked me to also hold onto his leg, I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle that, so asked one of the nurses to do so.
“Can we get another pair of hands here?”
I asked, knowing how important a still baby would be (especially as I recalled the tongue tie procedure I had to go through with Julian…right up there with top traumatic experiences). The doctor said, “Yes, let’s get another pair of hands in here.”
Honestly, I can’t write about what happened in the next 20-30 minutes with much detail, but let’s just say there were several cuts with a scalpel, digging with a needle, more cuts, more digging, me seeing Jack flinch when they cut him, asking if the area was really numb, more shots of local anesthetic right in the cuticle, a few more incisions going deeper this time, more digging, Jack screaming bloody murder the ENTIRE time, lots of blood that the doctor had to wipe up himself in between cuts, and finally me knowing that he had been put through enough and saying again,
“Okay, what needs to happen now,”
The doctor tipped back in his chair and pulled the magnifying glasses to the top of his head sighing and said,
“I feel like I’ve done all I can here, and I don’t feel comfortable going any deeper. At this point, with my limited tools, I have no way of knowing if I actually got the hair.”
I asked if we would be going to the Devos Children’s Hospital (in Grand Rapids, about an hour away), and he said probably yes, and that he was going to make some calls. The entire time he’s telling me this, Jack is still screaming. Nothing is calming him down.
Finally everyone leaves the room, Jack nurses, and as he’s perched calmly on my shoulder, I FaceTime with Scott and tell him what’s going on. Thinking that I would be home anytime, he was up doing fireworks with the kids, but knew then that he would have to put everyone to bed by himself. Next, I FaceTimed with my mom to see if she could meet me at Devos because I didn’t want to be alone.
As I started filling her in on what was going on, it suddenly hit me what they were going to have to do at the Children’s Hospital to get the hair off. I saw images of me holding him down again while they gave him more shots with more blood and scalpels or of him having to go under (which JUST happened with Ruby only the day before for a tooth extraction and was a very traumatic experience as well), and I felt myself slipping into what I can only imagine is a panic attack.
My heart raced, my limbs felt numb, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I could feel myself slipping into darkness like I might pass out or go absolutely crazy. I was silent with my mom for several long seconds as I tried to breathe deeply to get the feeling to pass. It was 11:20 at that point, and my mom bolted up in bed and said,
“I’m coming to you honey.”
“Okay mom,” I replied with tears in my eyes. At that point a nurse came in to get something, and I asked her if she could find out for sure if we needed to go to Devos, and she said she would check.
I started to feel like I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs and followed her out as she went to get the doctor. I followed her right through the door into the central nurses station and blurted, “I need to get some air, I think I’m having a panic attack.” They saw the crazy look in my eyes and one of the nurses quickly bolted up saying, “Here, give me your baby and you go get some fresh air.” I was so happy to have her take him because I felt like I might pass out at any moment and drop him.
The doctor followed me outside and explained again what he had done and why. He said I did a remarkable job of staying calm while he did the procedure, and I thanked him profusely for his steady hand and for doing everything he could.
When I came back in, all of the nurses were playing with a happy Jack, and I kept telling myself that he was screaming bloody murder before because he didn’t like being held down, not because he was feeling every incision.
Nurses Holding Jack
At this point, I asked for a phone charger because my phone was about to die, and they let me plug in using one of their personal chargers. I made a comment about how this was right up my husband’s alley since he was the IT guy at the hospital. Even though Scott works first shift mainly, he has gotten called in at all hours of the night, and everyone was like, “I thought your name sounded familiar!” I showed everyone Scott’s picture, and not that they weren’t super sweet before, but they warmed to us even more after that.
The Wonderful Nurses at Reed City Hospital
One of the nurses suggested going to the cafeteria to get me some food, and I realized that my blood sugar was probably low which was why I was feeling so faint. I didn’t feel comfortable holding Jack in case I passed out, so one of the nurses carried him for me while we went to the cafeteria. I heard them making a call to the cafeteria as we left saying to put anything I wanted on their account.
After eating some yogurt and apple pie, I felt a bit better. Once we got back to the nurses station, the doctor said that they were ready for us at Devos and that we could drive there when I was ready. I didn’t feel safe driving in the state I was in, so I told my mom to come get me. Just then, Scott called and said he’d be there in 90 seconds. He had gotten one of our friends to watch over our sleeping kids and came to be my night in shining armor!
When I saw him, I collapsed into his arms knowing that he could take over from there. My mom continued driving to relieve our friend and watch the kids. After I nursed Jack, we hopped in the car and headed to Devos.
My mind kept slipping into near panic mode as I thought about what they were going to do to my sweet little Jack, and I tried everything I could to stay sane. I even looked in the mirror and talked to myself about how it was going to be okay. I also prayed…a lot.
It was 2:00 a.m. at this point, and I was exhausted, so I closed my eyes and tried my best to sleep until we got there. After they valeted our van and checked us in, I felt myself slipping back into momma bear mode and knew that I would have to be ready to face whatever happened next.
As the doctor examined his foot, I almost crumpled to the ground in relief when he said,
“Well, I think he got it! The hair is gone.”
He went on to explain how the line on Jack’s foot would still be there for a bit but that there was no constriction anymore. He also looked at the incisions the other doctor had made and remarked on what a fine job he had done. I wept tears of happiness, and felt the greatest sense of relief a mother can feel. It was as if life itself had stopped, and I lost everything, but was now getting another chance to have it back.
Getting Checked Out at Devos Children’s Hospital
By 5:00 a.m., Jack and I were snuggled into our bed nursing to sleep, and I felt such a great sense of appreciation and thankfulness for the outcome of these events. After only three hours of sleep, I knew I needed to write this story down a) because I wanted to share it with everyone that had been so wonderful, supportive, and concerned and b) to help myself process and accept the events that had taken place. At some point in the near future, I am going to write a thank you card to the wonderful staff at the Reed City Hospital, and I am also going to buy myself a bottle of Nair to keep on hand should this ever happen again.
https://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/hair-tourniquet.png400810Stacey Maaserhttps://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EM_Logo.pngStacey Maaser2017-07-02 10:01:202020-11-19 21:54:19Jack’s Hair Tourniquet: One of the Most Traumatic Nights of my Life
Trying to calm a fussy, or inconsolable, or screaming newborn can be a very stressful time for parents. Throughout the pregnancy, the focus is most likely on the growth of the baby, preparations for birth, and setting up the nursery. Being up in the night with a fussy and inconsolable baby is probably not something a new parent thinks to plan for…but it should be.
With our first born, Ruby, we were blindsided by her fussiness and felt like we didn’t have enough tricks up our sleeves to calm her down.
I remember one night, after she had been screaming and inconsolable for hours and hours, we called 9-1-1 (after trying her pediatrician first). When the firefighters came stomping up our three flights of stairs and barged into our little condo, Ruby was instantly mesmerized and of course stopped crying. I saw the firefighters chuckle to themselves and heard them make some comments to each other about new parents. It’s funny now, but I was sleep deprived and terrified then that something might be dreadfully wrong.
After Ruby, we learned many more ways to calm fussy babies (besides just going for long walks or drives), but it wasn’t until after baby number five that I’ve finally feel like I have a full arsenal of ways to calm fussy babies at my fingertips.
One of the most important pieces of advice I have is to be proactive. Many of the tips and tricks I’ll share have to do with preventing fussiness and the rest will give you a bag of tricks to pull from if and when your baby is fussy.
1. Avoid Coffee
I’ve never completely eliminated coffee while breastfeeding until Jack, and let me tell you it has made a WORLD of difference. When I learned that the half life of caffeine elimination in a newborn was 97.5 hours, I was finally convinced to give up the java. With every other baby, I just expected that being up in the night was a normal part of caring for a new baby. Jack is almost two months old now, and I haven’t been up in the night even once with him. If you’re looking for a good coffee substitute, I recommend teeccino.
2. Chiropractic Care
The other reason why I think Jack is so calm is because we took him to a chiropractor shortly after he was born. I was having trouble nursing him on the left side, and apparently it was due to a misalignment in his neck. (During birth he was posterior, turned into the correct position right as I was about to push, and was born very quickly – all of which probably contributed to the misalignment.)
For the procedure, the chiropractor laid him on his back for the adjustment (which was basically like a massage), and he was very calm and happy during the whole thing. Afterwards, he nursed like a champ on both sides. When looking for a chiropractor, I advise looking for a holistic one who specializes in working with infants.
Check out this amazing video of an infant getting immediate relief after chiropractic care.
3. CranioSacral Therapy
CranioSacral therapy (CST) is a gentle, noninvasive form of bodywork that addresses the bones of the head, spinal column, and sacrum with the goal of releasing compression in those areas to alleviate pain. It is especially helpful for babies who seem unwilling or unable to nurse properly. When Julian was a newborn, we took him to a CranioSacral practitioner to help him with his tongue tie. It didn’t really help with the tongue tie, but we noticed a huge difference in how calm he was afterwards.
Going through the birth canal or being delivered by cesarean can misalign a baby’s delicate structure and cranial sacral therapy helps to realign everything.
4. Honor the 4th Trimester
After spending nine months in the womb, the outside world must be a real shock for a new baby. By making the outside environment as “womb-like” as possible, it will help to prevent fussiness and create a smooth transition.
Skin to Skin: I love doing skin to skin as much as possible after birth until my babies are adjusted. It helps with nursing, bonding, and maintains the same comforts as the womb.
Feeding on Demand: There is no need to worry about a feeding schedule, just nurse whenever your baby is hungry. Newborns generally need to nurse about every two hours, but may cluster feed at certain times and sleep longer and not eat for longer times.
Baby Wearing: Using a baby sling or carrier is a great way to keep your baby close so he or she can be close to your skin, beating heart, the sound of your voice, and the gentle swaying of your motions. My favorite carriers are the Moby Wrap, a ring sling, and an Ergo Carrier with an infant insert.
Co-Sleeping: Feeding on demand is made much easier by co-sleeping. In most parts of the world (except the United States), co-sleeping is the norm. New research shows how it’s actually safer than putting a baby in a separate room and bed.
I find it fascinating that in other more primitive cultures, fussy and crying babies are a rarity. This is because babies in these cultures are treated like an attachment to the mother and aren’t “trained” in any way. (Source)
5. Check Basic Needs
Whenever my babies get fussy, the first thing I do is cycle through the basics. Does he need a diaper change? Does he need to burp? What about nursing? Maybe he’s tired? As a mom, my sixth sense sometimes just knows what my babies need, but this amazing woman, Priscilla Dunstan, figured out how to decipher the meaning of a baby’s cries.
Being naked in a warm bath with you is as close to a womb experience as you can create. Within the first few hours after birth, I always like taking a nice healing herbal bath with my newborns. This is a great time for us to relax and bond after birth, and my little ones always enjoy nursing in the water. When I was having trouble getting Ophelia to latch when she was three days old (I tried a pacifier with her too early, and it created nipple confusion.), we took a bath together it she latched on right away. My babies love it when I hold their heads so they can move their arms and legs freely in the water.
7. Don’t Keep a Baby Awake
When our firstborn, Ruby, was an infant, I had this crazy idea that if I kept her awake more during the day, she would sleep better at night. But then she would get overtired, and getting an overtired baby to go to sleep is not an easy task.
The best rule of thumb to remember with babies and sleep is that the more they sleep, the better they’ll sleep. Trying to get a newborn on any type of schedule or predictable routine is just not going to work. The best thing to do is to just go with the flow and let our little ones sleep whenever they’d like and for as long as they’d like.
8. Red Light at Night
As for lighting, red lights are the best because they keep the pupils from dilating which allows your baby to remain in a sleepy state while allowing you to see during late night nursing sessions. Something like this salt lamp or this tree lamp (we unscrew the other bulbs so only the reddish lights are on) would be perfect. The soft glow of a fireplace in the winter is great too!
9. Not Too Hot or Cold
Newborns don’t have a lot of body fat to keep them warm and struggle to maintain their body temperature if the environment is too cold. That is why it’s best to dress babies in one more layer than we do to keep warm. So if you’re hanging out in a t-shirt, your baby will probably want to put your baby in a footed sleeper with long sleeves. I typically like to keep my babies a little under-dressed, however, so that I can wrap them up in one of my homemade silky blankets! But beware of overdoing it as well. A little bit of sweat is normal, but if your baby is in pools of sweat, he or she is too hot! Babies dressed in too many layers are at a greater risk for SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).
10. Swaddle
Swaddling helps to recreate the tight environment of the womb. Some of our babies have totally loved this and others didn’t much care for it. These aden + anais cloths are great for swaddling and so are these summer swaddlers, but really any receiving blanket will do. Just make sure that you are following the guidelines for the new swaddle that keep the legs more free so that your baby doesn’t get hip dysplasia. Watch this video to see the proper way to swaddle.
11. Sucking
Sucking releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) in both the mother and the baby, which is nature’s way of rewarding them both for breastfeeding. 🙂 In between feedings, newborns might also enjoy sucking on your pinkie (nail side down).
I would avoid using a pacifier for the first few weeks because it can create nipple confusion and make breastfeeding more difficult, but once breastfeeding is established, pacifiers are just fine. There is no evidence that pacifiers affect baby teeth and they have actually been proven to reduce SIDS. Just look for some that are BPA free.
12. Get the Boogers Out
Babies can get really fussy if they can’t breathe because boogers are blocking their nasal passages. When they are first born, babies have this white sticky boogers that you’ll need to pull out. I like to take a kleenex and twist a piece of it into a little swirl. Then I spin it into the nostril and spin it out. This usually catches the booger and drags it out.
If there’s any congestion or lots of boogers, I like using saline and a Nose Frida. My babies always HATE this, so I have to hold them snugly, give a quick squirt up each nostril, and gently use the Nose Frida to suck out the boogers. I also keep a kleenex close by to wipe the nose and then I use it to catch the boogers as I blow them out from the Nose Frida.
13. Nose Rub
Every single one of my babies (and even toddlers) love the nose rub. When they are tired, but not wanting to go sleep, I gently run my fingers down the bridge of their nose in a way that also lets my fingers shadow their eyes. Every time my fingers go over their eyes, they close for a bit, then close for a bit longer, and then finally shut. If I stop and they open their eyes, I keep going. Sometimes I’ll also rub their head and cheeks.
I love this video that shows a little baby falling asleep as a light cloth is repeatedly swiped over its face.
14. Shushing
A harsh shushing sound mimics the sound of the mother’s blood flow that babies hear in the womb. This is why using a box fan for white noise is so great, but if you need to take things to the next level, this shushing technique is really effective. Basically, you get really close to the baby’s ear and make a shushing sound as loud as you can and for as long as you can.
In his book and video, The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer, Harvey Karp explains how the best way to calm your newborn and get him or her to sleep is by re-creating the noises, movement, and snug environment of the womb.
15. Calm Music
Calming music can also provide a very soothing type of white noise. With every baby, I’ve enjoyed listening to something new. Sometimes I’ll get into Enya on Pandora, other times I like Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions with the iTunes visualizer turned on, and right now, I’m really liking this lullaby mix on YouTube that has some great visuals which are mesmerizing for me as well as Jack.
16. Mother’s Voice
Starting at 23 weeks gestation, babies can hear sounds in the outside world – including the sounds of voices. During the last 10 weeks of pregnancy, research has proven that babies can actually distinguish the sound of their mother’s voice. At birth, babies recognize and prefer the sound of their mother’s voice.
I love talking to my babies, singing to them, and whispering in their ears telling them how much I love them. Jack is 7 weeks old now and we’re enjoying the best conversations with each other while I hold him close and gaze into his eyes. He is completely transfixed. If someone else is holding him and he hears my voice, he’ll quickly turn his head to see me. If he gets a little fussy, I’ll sing him a little song and all of the troubles in the world melt away.
17. Bounce and Pat
For this maneuver, place the baby in an upright position with its head resting on your shoulder and bounce while gently patting the baby on his or her back or bottom. This position is particularly good if the baby is gassy. While holding the baby, you can bounce on an exercise ball, walk around, dance, or sway back and forth.
18. Rocking
I highly recommend investing in at least one good rocking chair. I currently have three set up and Jack loves the rocking motion while I nurse. First of all, I have an old fashioned wicker rocker (that I got at a garage sale) in our bedroom that Scott and I take turns using while holding Jack (primarily during our bedtime routine with the older kids). This type of rocking chair has a great sweeping up and down rock that is very calming for a fussy baby.
In our mini living room, I have a gliding rocker(I call this one my throne because I spend the most time here). The gliding motion is mostly back and forth, not up and down, so it’s not as soothing, but it’s very comfortable. Then in our main living room (where Scott and I hang out after the kids go to bed), we have the most luxurious rocking and reclining arm chair (we just found one at a thrift store, but I linked to one that looks really special). This is the kind of chair that I love to criss-cross my legs and snuggle into at the end of the day.
There are times when I’m just too tired to rock and bounce and dance, and a nice swing has been a life saver. I really like this small portable swing the best. I can easily carry it from room to room, it’s not a battery hog, the swinging is silent, and the motion is subtle and gentle. I also really like this Fisher-Price Cradle ‘n Swing. It takes up a bit of room and has a bit more noise, but it offers many different swinging options and the mobile is very distracting as well. And while not technically a swing, I LOVE putting my little babies to sleep in this vibrating bassinet.
20. Tummy to Chest
Little babies love sleeping on their tummies with their heads nestled near your neck and little legs tucked up on your chest. This is a great way to do skin to skin as well. In this position, the baby is near your heart beat and voice, and you can gently pat his or her back to help get out any gas. I think the pressure of being on their tummies feels good if they have a little gas.
If you’re looking for a way to recreate this with a machine, check out this video of a fussy baby being settled with the Babo Cush. You can buy both the rocker and the cushion at the Babo Cush website here.
21. Tummy Rub
I can tell when Jack has to poop or pass gas because he’ll start grunting and squirming. When I put my hand on his stomach for a gentle massage, it really calms him down. I will rub my hands in a downward motion, rub in a circular pattern, or just leave my hand there to gently apply pressure to his tummy.
I can only imagine what it must be like to have to learn how to poop, and even though babies have an automatic defecation reflex, sometimes the muscles of the anus don’t relax at the proper time so your baby will push hard with the diaphragm and belly muscles while holding the anus tightly closed.
When this happens, you can rub their tummy, pump their legs in a bicycle motions, hold them upright on your shoulder, or lay them down to let nature take it’s course.
22. Colic Calm
Colic is technically defined as a baby who cries for more than 3 hours a day and for more than 3 days a week. Although the cause is unknown, it is believed to be due to some sort of intestinal cramping. Dr. Harvey Karp believes colic is a myth and that newborns really need a 4th trimester to develop with conditions similar to those in the womb. In any case, when my babies have been really fussy, and I suspect intestinal troubles, I love using Colic Calm. It is a natural homeopathic oral remedy designed to help with colic, stomach pains, reflux, and gas. It is made with charcoal, so don’t be surprised by the black color of your baby’s next stool.
23. Water Dropper
I learned this little trick from my midwife, Laurie Zoyiopoulos, who learned it from some of her Amish clients. When the Amish are dealing with a fussy newborn, they simply give him or her a little bit of water, and it calms the baby down right away. Maybe it’s because the colostrum just isn’t satisfying enough, or maybe it helps to soothe an upset tummy, but for whatever reason, this trick really really works! When Julian would get really fussy and nothing else would soothe him, I would give him a little dropper of water, and he would calm right down. My husband really appreciated knowing this trick as well!
24. Hair Tourniquet
In rare occasions, an adult hair can become wrapped around a finger or toe and cut off circulation. (Read more here.) I always like to give my babies a physical once over to see if I can spot something that is causing them pain. Maybe a cookie crumb is lodged in the crook of their neck, maybe a fold of skin has some gunk in it that’s turning into a rash, or perhaps a hair has become wrapped around one of their extremities and is causing pain. It can be quite a guessing game!
25. Tongue or Lip Tie
If a baby is tongue tied or lip tied, it means that there is an extra flap of skin that makes it hard to nurse properly. Julian had a pretty severe tongue tie and as a result he had a hard time latching correctly which made him take in a lot of air. This caused him to be gassy, very fussy, and up in the night every 45 minutes to eat. A lip tie can have the same effect. If you suspect a lip tie or tongue tie, check out my blog here for more information.
26. Thrush
For the mother, thrush can mean sore nipples and painful nursing, for a baby thrush can mean white patches of painful sores in the mouth. If your baby has thrush, it means that you probably had a yeast infection during a vaginal birth. Milk spots in the mouth will go away on their own, but white spots from thrush will remain. If you want to learn more about remedies for thrush, check out my blog here. (And if you’re still pregnant and reading this, check out my blog about curing a yeast infection while you’re pregnant so you can avoid thrush.)
In Conclusion
You are not a bad parent if your newborn cries. Yes, they cry as a way to communicate and it’s our job to figure out what they’re trying to say, but it’s a big adjustment moving to the outside world from the womb and there are going to be a few tears shed. The best things you can do are to: 1) be proactive by taking measures to prevent fussiness in the first place, 2) be prepared with a variety of tricks up your sleeve to use when your baby does get fussy, 3) stay calm, and 4) be patient. If you keep rotating through a variety of strategies, you will eventually find something that works. Then, when you know what has been troubling your little guy or girl, you can make a plan so that things will get better in the future.
Time goes by fast, so enjoy these precious moments with your newborn and know that by the time they are 3 months old, they will finally be settled into their new world and things will be a lot easier. You’ve got this!
I usually just like to nurse my babies to sleep, but at some point this starts to not work, and instead of panicking and thinking that the world as you know it is over (like I may or may not have done), just know that this probably means your child is ready for a bedtime routine.
Julian, My 4th Child
Julian (my fourth and the recent inspiration for this article) didn’t all of a sudden stop nursing to sleep one night. It was a gradual progression that began when he was about 15 months old.
At this time, our nightly nursing sessions were getting longer and longer, and I remember one night after flipping him from side to side and nursing him for like an hour, and he just looked up at me and said, “Hi!”
I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t have a plan.
All I knew was that I couldn’t let him keep nursing, and I didn’t want to just let him stay up later. He was tired. I needed to do something. (Also, I was starting to experience what I later learned was nursing aversion…more about that here.)
1. The First Time I Put Him to Bed Awake
Feeling like I was out of options, I decided to just lay him down and see what happened. When I placed him in his crib, he SCREAMED bloody murder. I knew that he wasn’t sick, teething, hungry, or needing to poop, and I also knew that he was tired, so I expertly tucked him in, whispered, “Nigh-night, I love you!” and closed the closet door (where he sleeps). As I sat back on the rocking chair to see what would happen, my mind felt blank. Usually I go into these situations with a plan, but I just felt helpless as I listened to him wail.
Then, a miracle happened. After about 90 seconds of crying…it stopped.
I sat there waiting for awhile until I was sure he was settled in, and then I went out to the living room to enjoy some much needed alone time with my husband. 🙂 He didn’t make a peep until he woke up for his usual 12 am and 3 am nighttime wakings. When I nursed him at these times, he went right back to bed.
With every child, I have always been determined to never let them “cry it out”, but inevitably, a few tears are usually shed during this transitional phase.
2. New Bedtime Routine: Reading Stories
The whole “nursing and nursing and nursing, hoping he would fall asleep, and then putting him down awake if he popped off the breast” became our new bedtime routine for about three months.
Finally, when the nursing aversion made it practically impossible for me to nurse one second longer, I knew that I would need to get him going with a bedtime story routine as soon as possible. The first night I tried it, it was super successful!
When I remembered how well bedtime stories had worked for all of our other children, I kicked myself for not starting this routine sooner!
Even if he was nursing to sleep some nights, on the nights that he didn’t fall asleep nursing, we could have read some stories and made this transition even easier. But alas, it is so hard to change!
3. Setting the Scene for a Successful Bedtime Routine
By getting everything prepared ahead of time so that the environment can be the same every night, it will make the nightly routine that much easier. This is what has worked for me. You will have to find what works for you, but this might be a place to start.
Rocking Chair: I have a nice comfy rocking chair in the corner of our room that I always nurse him in before putting him to bed in his crib.
Books: Next to the rocking chair, I put a stack of his favorite books.
Salt Lamp: I love the reddish glow of this dimmer lamp, plus it purifies the air by releasing negative ions!
Sippy Cup of Milk: I love using sippy cups with handles like this so that my babies can hold on to them and feed themselves. I fill it up with raw milk, but you could also use water or a glass sippy cup like this.
Silky: Every night, Julian sleeps with this special silky that I hand made for him. I’ve always wrapped him up in it while we’re nursing, and I tuck it over his legs while we read bedtime stories.
Fan: I like the white noise of a fan. It’s helpful to have a sound buffer since he sleeps only a few feet from our bed.
4. Julian’s Bedtime Routine
Children love and crave routines, especially with something that predictably happens every day…like bedtime. Each activity precipitates the next, and it makes the entire process predictable, fun, and easy.
Big Kids’ Bedtime Routine: I’ve been wanting to write a blog about this for quite some time, but basically, we get our pajamas on, wrestle, cuddle, have family time, eat a snack, brush our teeth, and then begin a series of reading everyone stories and tucking them in. Julian has always tagged along with one of us during this process until I’ve been ready to nurse him to sleep.
The Rocking Chair: When we were just starting to wean, if he would try to wiggle into a nursing position, I would nurse him briefly (or distract him with one of his favorite books), and then sit him on my lap. After that, I cover him up with his silky, give him his sippy cup of milk, and get ready to read.
Reading Books: Sometimes I’ll read a whole stack of books, but if he’s really tired, I like to stick with just three. Before I read the last book, I say, “After this book we’re going nigh-night.”
Sing a Song: Once he realizes he’s going to bed, he sometimes starts to cry so I try to distract him with a song and maybe even a little dance/spin move. (For some reason, I started singing him, “Boom, boom goes the little green frog one day, boom, boom goes the little green froggie, pee-i-pickle-i-pee-i-pickle-i, boom, boom goes the little green froggie.” With each child, a different song has emerged.)
Drop and Run: If I can lay him down, cover him up with his silkies, get out of the room, and shut the door in less than 1.5 seconds, then there is a much better chance he won’t cry!
Milk Cup: Julian and Elliot never did get into pacifiers like Ruby and Ophelia did, but Julian has really liked taking his milk cup to bed with him. It’s got a child safety top, so it usually doesn’t spill unless he sucks on it, but if it does, I’ll just wash the sheets.
Wake Up Time: When Julian wakes up in the morning or from naps, sometimes I like to let him linger in bed, especially if he’s still laying down and stretching. I will sit by his bedside, rub his head, sing him songs, make funny faces, or whatever. I also like to let him play in his bed sometimes during the day. This helps him to become familiar with his little space during a time where he isn’t focused on going to sleep.
5. What if He Cries?
If He Cries Right Away: Sometimes he screams and cries really loudly when I first lay him down. My first instinct is to just pick him up and comfort him, but I want to give him a chance to fall asleep on his own. He usually never cries for longer than 15-30 seconds. The first few times we went through this routine, I think he cried for more like a minute or two.
If He Cries After Being Quiet: When babies try learning how to fall asleep on their own at first, they may be quiet at first, but then get frustrated if they don’t fall asleep right away. What I do here really depends on the nature of the cry, past behaviors, personality, how our day has been going, etc. Typically, I like to give him a minute or two to see if he’ll settle down on his own. If he starts happily babbling, I know he’ll be okay, but if his cry escalates, I will get him and quickly go through our bedtime routine again.
If He Wakes In the Night: When we were first weaning, I would still nurse him in the night with gradually shorter sessions. That worked pretty well at first, but then he got frustrated by the short nursing sessions, and so one night I just stopped altogether. Now, when he wakes in the night, I quickly go through our bedtime routine and lay him back down. If he cries for a long time, I’ll get him up and go through the routine again.
Naptime: Since I’ve been doing this routine, he’s been up pretty early every day and has needed nice long naps. (*Before I started this routine, sometimes he would fall fall back asleep after our morning nurse and then be able to go through the rest of the day without a nap.) I go through the same routine at naps as I do at night. I wait to put him down until he shows signs of being tired (gets really clingy, cuddly, and says nigh-night after I do), and then we go through our routine. Many times I can hear him talking or singing quietly for quite a bit of time, but if he’s not crying, I leave him in there. Many of our children have been in a transition out of naptimes, and if they were awake for awhile and then started to get fussy, I would get them up. So far, Julian has always fallen asleep.
Laying Little Babies Down Awake: In my experience, it’s always easy to lay a little baby down when they are awake yet sleepy and let them fall asleep on their own. “Experts” say that this will help to train them to fall asleep when they are older, but this has never been the case for me! Things like teething and illness usually mess up even the best of sleepers 🙂
In Conclusion
Every baby is different, but after having four, I’ve started to notice some patterns. Even though babies are ready for a bedtime routine at different ages, they all eventually crave one. By establishing a good bedtime routine from a young age, it will make bedtime that much easier as they get older. Our two older kids sleep soooooo good and do sooooo well at bedtime. Sometimes these baby/toddler years of sleep seem like they will be endless, but babies who learn good sleep habits eventually turn into young children who have good sleep habits as well.
https://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/new-bedtime-routine.png400810Stacey Maaserhttps://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EM_Logo.pngStacey Maaser2016-05-17 21:38:552020-11-20 15:09:26Establishing a Bedtime Routine with a Baby Who is Used to Nursing to Sleep
It’s 2 o’clock in the morning, and it feels like my head just hit the pillow, but now he’s crying again. I wait for a minute to see if it’s just a quiet whimper and he’ll fall back asleep, or if it’s more of a full on cry and he needs me.
His cry gets louder and takes on a shrill brassy tone. I jump quickly to my feet keeping my eyes still half closed because I don’t want to fully wake up.
He’s sitting up in his crib, and I pull up my shirt over my right breast so that I’m ready to nurse before I even scoop him up. We plop down onto my tower of pillows (that have been there since he was born), and as we nestle under the covers, my head tips back, my eyes close, and I drift back to sleep.
I awaken to little fingers tickling at my neck, and before he can fully wake up, I cradle him in my arms and tuck him back into his crib.
As I walk through the closet door, take one step, and plop immediately back into bed, I wonder once again why I didn’t just leave him in our king sized bed in between us, like I did when he was smaller. There’s definitely plenty of room, but for some reason, I just sleep better when he’s in his own crib. And even though I know I’ll have to go and get him again in a few hours, the time in between I will be sprawled out on my belly hugging my body pillow (that is now just a part of my side of the bed after four pregnancies) and sleeping HARD knowing that there’s no one next to me that I might squish or who might kick me in the face.
I nurse him again at 4:30 a.m. and wonder if I should just get up for the day. I’ve already gotten about 5 hours of sleep, which is pretty much par for the course these days, and there’s so much to do…
But against my better judgement, I decide to close my eyes again just for a moment. Before I know it, I am startled awake by a small little cry. I know that I must have been sleeping because the remnants of an intense dream still dance across the backs of my eyelids, but it doesn’t feel like more than two minutes have gone by. When I look at the clock, I realize it’s been about two hours since I’ve last nursed him.
As I meet him in front of his crib, he starts babbling, “4, 5, 6, 7..” and I know that he’ll want to be awake for the day. Still, I cuddle him up in bed and nurse him one last time. When he’s done, he pulls away and smiles happily at me, “A, B, C, D…” he says in his sweet little voice, and then proceeds to chant through the entire alphabet as I rock him in my arms, turning up the red glow of the salt lamp beside my bed as I look at him, smiling, and nodding the entire time.
He eventually he squirms out of my arms, slides off from our mattress on the floor, and heads over to the door happy and ready to start his day.
Not every night is this peaceful. Some nights he’s up every hour, and I feel like the walking dead as I shuffle through our nursing routine or try to bounce and rock him to sleep when he’s teething, sick, or really gassy. Other nights, Scott awakens to hear me cursing or crying as I gather my phone, Ophelia’s monitor, and Julian’s silky knowing that we’ll be out in the living room for the next few hours when all I want to do is just close my eyes and drift away.
But still, even when things are at their toughest, I’m glad that I can be there to rock him in my arms as those sharp little daggers of teeth torture his gums, help him breathe by sucking out all of his boogers with a Nose Frida, rub his tummy and pump his legs to help him with his gassy tummy, and give him nourishment and sustenance with my body’s milk.
Lack of sleep is like a badge of honor that I wear as a mother, and I’m proud of it!
On days when I’m really tired, I close my eyes for a few minutes after story time, or I might get a quick nap when Scott gets home (Napping when the baby naps doesn’t happen when you have four kids!), and I always get to sleep in on the weekends! (Thank you love!)
This idea that babies should sleep through the night at some certain age is completely arbitrary, and seems kind of fishy the way that this abnormal fallacy is spread throughout the major “parenting websites” out there as “normal”. Sleep train your baby before they can stand you say? Don’t let them fall asleep breastfeeding because it’s a bad habit you say? Make them cry it out because a baby needs a well rested mommy you say?
Hogwash! It is an HONOR to nurse my baby to sleep every night! I love being in tune with his needs! I love how his nighttime nursing keeps my milk supply up!
I don’t want to turn my mommy heart off while I listen to him scream himself to sleep every night, I don’t want him to stop needing me, and I don’t want him to stop telling me that he needs me.
Already, he is starting to show signs of not needing me anymore, and it’s scary! After 15 months of nursing to sleep every night, he is starting to pull away before he’s done, preferring instead to burrow his face in the silkies tucked in the crook of my arm and fall asleep that way. And sometimes after we do our bedtime routine and nurse, he squirms away from me until I lay him down in his crib, ready to fall asleep on his own.
The mistake I made with Ruby and Elliot was thinking that there would be some magical day that they wouldn’t need me in the night anymore.
Now, with Ophelia and Julian, I realize that the progression with sleep is just as gradual as the progression with any other milestone.
2 and a half year old Ophelia didn’t just start reading one day. It was a gradual sequence of events that began with daily flashcards at 8 months old and progressed a little more every day from there. Ophelia still needs me in the night a few times a week. Sometimes she wants some milk, sometimes a pacifier, and sometimes I think she just wants to be covered up again. Heck, even Ruby and Elliot still need to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water in the night sometimes! It’s never over. It’s never done. Having kids means that you’ll probably always be sleeping with one ear open, and IT’S WORTH IT! It’s so worth it!
I have finally learned (after 4 children) to stop Googling so much and to start listening, really listening, to what my mommy heart has to say. My mother’s intuition has more answers than any book on the shelves, and I know that when I trust in it, the answers are always more individualized and nuanced that anything some Dr. Sleep with a doctorate could have ever written.
It’s time that we all listened to our mommy hearts. It’s time that we stop trying to perpetuate the idea that there is ONE right way of doing things and that there is some unrealistic standard that we are all somehow failing. I get that it feels good to be supported by the attachment parenting group or the cry it out group once you’ve made those decisions, but neither group knows what’s best for you in every possible scenario. Maybe your mommy heart IS telling you that if you don’t have your child cry it out you are going to straight up lose it! If that is what you need to do then do it! You DO know best! Read the blogs, look at the forums, skim through the books if you must, but know that they are only there to kickstart what’s inside.
When we listen to our mommy hearts, when we respect our intuition and demand that others respect it to, it will give us the confidence to own this thing called motherhood.
Because sleep issues are just the beginning of this journey of motherhood. Before we know it, our little ones will be teenagers, and then adults, and someday (maybe) mothers and fathers themselves. And when this happens, I want to share with them how I loved these nights, how I cherished this time, how I gave everything I could, and how I loved it.
https://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/14-month-old-Julian.png400610Stacey Maaserhttps://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EM_Logo.pngStacey Maaser2016-04-28 20:45:532018-01-31 15:02:38My 15 Month Old “Baby” is Still Not Sleeping Through the Night
Now that this is my fourth baby (in the last five years), I really and truly SEE how fast time flies, and rather than spend hours combing the Internet looking for ways to get my six month old to “sleep through the night”, I’ve just decided to enjoy it.
I look at my oldest daughter Ruby who is five, wise beyond her years, so independent, and asserting her personality boldly into the world, and I remember those days when she was a tiny little babe cuddled in my arms and nursing into the wee hours of the morning.
As I pull her close now, she melts into my arms, and as our skin touches, I am intoxicated by the electricity between us. It’s not that I long for the days when she was a little baby again, because I have these incredible moments with her now that are just as amazing, but when I remember the days of long ago, and my mind drifts to the Zelda song Scott and I would sing to her every night before putting her to bed, how I would look at her a thousand times in the night to make sure she was still breathing, and how much we loved her laying inbetween us in our Saturday morning bed as we would ooooohhhh and ahhhhhhh over every little sound and motion she made, I feel a sense of honor and a sense of pride about how I hung on to each of those moments rather than pushing through them to get to the next stage.
All of the sleepless nights that I was up with her and all of the tired mornings that I slugged through, they all melt together into one big insignificant blur. And as I look at my little one now, finally asleep on his own after I held and rocked him all night long, I know that the memories of tiredness are not only but a flash, they are an honor.
When I look at each of my four children and remember our special moments in the night, the thought of it practically brings me to tears. They are only these little helpless babies for but a fraction of their lives, and before we know it, they are sleeping in their own beds and then we are left alone…with empty arms.
The other morning, my husband, who is always so wonderful and supportive as he not only thinks about what’s best for the children, but me as well, saw me asleep on my pile of pillows with Julian tucked in my arms, asleep on my breast, and my head bent back in an awkward angle and my body twisted in a half sitting, half laying position, and he just thanked me for that. And of course I started overthinking things (like I always do), and I thought, “He’s six months old, maybe he should be sleeping on his own.”
So that night, I was determined to get him to sleep on his own, and as soon as he drifted off, I placed him in his crib (two feet away from our bed on the floor). “Well, that was easy!” I thought. But as I climbed into bed, I felt lonely. I missed him being near me, and I could only half sleep because one ear was pricked up listening for any little sound of rustling. But eventually, I drifted off into a very very deep sleep, only to be jarred awake an hour later by Julian’s little whimpering voice.
So I got out of bed, picked him up, cuddled him close, and nursed him until he fell asleep once again. Still determined to have him sleep on his own, however, I placed him inbetween Scott and I in our giant king size bed, and was pleased to see that he layed there peacefully. But that only lasted briefly before he started to stir again, and so I cursed and angrily picked him up wondering what I was doing wrong. Scott woke up to ask me what was wrong, and I complained that he just wouldn’t sleep without me holding him.
I awoke the next morning feeling unfulfilled. All of the getting up and down, all of the strategizing and worry, and all of the anger did not make for a very restful night. As Scott and I chatted about it on our two hour weekly milk run, I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to try to do anything differently than I had been in the night. (Do you ever get the feeling that you’re doing everything wrong and that you need to scrap everything and start completely over only to realize later that what you were doing before was actually right all along? Yeah, me neither.) So I decided that if he slept best with me holding him all night, than that was just what I was going to do.
It’s now the second morning after my little epiphany, and I’m sitting here typing on a quiet Memorial Day morning while everybody sleeps. Am I tired? Yes. Am I happy? Incredibly. Am I stressed? Not a bit. Last night, and the night before, I held Julian while he nursed on one side and in the process, we both fell asleep. An hour later, he woke up, and I sluggishly maneuvered him to the other side where he nursed and once again, we both fell asleep. All night long we did this dance of nursing and falling asleep from one side to the other. Never once did I have to get out of bed, never once did I awake fully, and every time I easily and quickly drifted off to sleep. I didn’t worry if I was doing it right, I didn’t fret about not getting uninterrupted sleep, and I didn’t allow myself to think, “Is it going to be this way forever?”
Because the realization is that it’s NOT going to last forever! My husband and I always joke about how every milestone we encounter with our children such as potty training, illness, and sleepless nights have one remedy… TIME. Time will pass, it slips through our fingers now like puke spilling down the middle of my bra, there is nothing we can do to stop it, and there is nothing we can do to slow it down.
If we approach each milestone as something to “get through” and something that will “pass”, we miss the fact that these are the moments we want to remember, the moments we want to cherish, and the moments we will reflect on and look back on when we are old and gray in an empty house with only our memories to keep us company in the wee hours of the night when ironically we are the ones who can’t sleep through the night.
And so I’ll hold my little Julian all through the night, feeding him as often as he needs, knowing that sooner than I think, he’ll be eating solid food and there will come a time when he won’t even want to nurse anymore, and I’ll look back on these nights of ours together with a warmth and a fondness in my heart that I will cherish for a lifetime.
https://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/embracing-motherhood.com-61.png400810Stacey Maaserhttps://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EM_Logo.pngStacey Maaser2015-05-25 08:56:242018-01-31 15:04:36I’m Up in the Night to Nurse My 6 Month Old Every Hour…and I’m Okay with That
This is the most comprehensive list of baby items that you’ll ever need! If you’re pregnant, thinking about being pregnant, attending someone’s baby shower and looking for a cool gift, or just browsing to get ideas, you’ll want to check out this list and share it with everyone you know! *Update: I wrote this blog seven years ago after baby #4 in 2015. In 2017 I had my last baby, and now here I am in 2022 updating this list. Some of the products I used then aren’t available now, so I’m doing my best to recommend similar items.
During the time that each of our four children have been babies, these have been the products that we have loved the most. I am listing all of these products new, but I have been able to find many if not most of these items at garage sales and thrift stores or received them as gifts. I definitely recommend having a list somewhere where you can keep track of what you want so you can keep your eye out for good deals.
Before you go too far, you might want to start a baby registry (Create an Amazon Baby Registry) or join Amazon Mom which is basically like Amazon Prime, but better (Try Amazon Family for Free), and then you can create a wish list if you’re not quite ready for a baby registry.
Sleeping
Crib – This is what I have always dreamed of getting, but we never had to buy a crib new. For our first baby, we got a really nice portable crib for a baby shower gift, but it didn’t make the move, so for babies #3 and #4 we got a thrift store crib and a Craig’s List crib for less than $30/ea. I know some people are really paranoid about cribs, but we co-sleep for quite awhile, and then we keep them in the crib in our room so we’re always really close. We also found some really good mattresses at thrift stores for about $10 each, but you can buy a great one new here. The cool thing about crib mattresses is that they’re the same size as toddler bed mattresses, so keep that in mind when you’re purchasing one (make sure it’s waterproof).
Co-Sleeper – I absolutely loved this for our first born! Ruby slept in one of these until she outgrew it at about 8 months old. It made it so easy to roll over and nurse her whenever she needed me throughout the night. Our second born didn’t really care for it; he just wanted to be held. By the time we got to babies #3 and #4, we just had a mattress on the floor, so we couldn’t have used it even if we wanted to.
Big Swing – This has come in so handy for every single baby. The first 6 months are so crazy with sleep, and I like having a place where I know my little one can always fall asleep. (I make sure this swing is set up near a bed where I can sleep too!) We have purchased two of these. The first one from someone on Craig’s List and it was perfect. The second one we got new and the motor was so loud that we weren’t able to keep it in our bedroom. I’ve linked to a similar swing with better reviews. Just make sure whatever big swing you get has an AC adapter or you will spend a fortune on batteries (not to mention the frustration of running out of batteries at 2 a.m. when you finally got your little one to sleep).
Portable Swing – This swing is an absolute must! We have used this swing more than anything else. You can easily move it from room to room and babies love to fall asleep in it.
Vibrating Bassinet – When I wrote this blog 7 years ago, my absolute favorite item for naptime was my Newborn Rock n’ Play Sleeper. During the first three months as babies are finishing the development of their digestive systems, I found the incline of this bassinet to really help with acid reflux and resulted in way fewer spit ups. The vibrating motion was on a timer, and when I would lay down little Julian freshly fed and burped and a little sleepy, he would drift right off. I liked how portable it was, and how I could move it around easily to whatever room I was in so he could be near me. I also liked how it was higher up than a portable swing so I could easily soothe him with my hand if I was sitting nearby on the couch or gently rock him with my foot. If I was a parent to a new baby again, I would probably get something like this Fisher-Price Soothing View Vibe Bassinet or if money was no option, I would look into the 4moms MamaRoo Sleep Bassinet that moves like mama does with 5 unique motions to help your baby fall asleep. The bottom line is that the first three months with your newborn, especially as a new parent, can be very scary and very stressful. Whatever you need to help your little one (and you) sleep is well worth it! Check out my blog about calming a fussy newborn for some sanity saving tips and tricks.
Mobile – I did a ton of research to find the best mobiles and this was the one we chose for our first baby, and we are still using it today with our fourth child. I currently have it on the diaper changing table because it provides a nice distraction. We also really liked this mobile.
Pack ‘n Play – When our firstborn outgrew her co-sleeper, we put her in a Pack n’ Play until she graduated to a toddler bed. It makes a great portable bed anywhere we’ve gone. We found ours at a garage sale for $10, but I love the one I’ve linked to because it has a top insert for newborns that would make a great bassinet.
Crib Sheets – Keep in mind that you will use these as your children transition to toddler beds. I just found mine at thrift stores, garage sales, and our local grocery store, but you can find some good organic ones too. You’ll also want a basic waterproof mattress pad or an organic one.
Monitors – This basic model has worked wonderfully for us for all four of our children, but if you’re looking for something more high tech, this video monitor works great.
Furniture
Changing Table – We didn’t actually get one of these until our fourth baby. We just put a changing pad on top of a dresser or changed them on the bed. (Our fourth baby is the only who hasn’t rolled off from a tall surface while being changed!) We found one like this at a garage sale for $15. You’ll also want some of these changing pad covers.
Dresser – Once again, this is something we found used, but I think it’s really important to have a nice little place to store all of your baby’s things, and you’ll appreciate having it as they get older.
Diaper Pail – I’m updating this blog seven years later, and the diaper pail that I used for cloth wipes. isn’t available anymore, but the one I linked to seems really great. Because we have two in diapers, I need a bigger pail that doesn’t get filled up every day, so I just have this garbage can with a removable lid. I don’t think you need any special Diaper Genie to hold diapers. Yes, it stinks when you open the can, so don’t put it in your kitchen or living room and you’ll be fine. (But if you need to do that for some reason, get one of these.)
Diapers
Disposable Diapers – Ok, so I tried cloth diapers for awhile, and it was going great until we had two kids, and I just didn’t have the time. (And actually, we did disposables when she was a newborn, at night, and when we traveled…) The notion is that cloth diapers are better for the environment and save you money, but with the extra electricity and water used from washing cloth diapers, it seems like the carbon footprint is pretty comparable (unless you’re washing diapers by hand that is, then you go mama!). Also, cloth diapers need to be changed immediately or they will lead to diaper rashes, that and the extra time of washing them made me decide that the money saved wasn’t as valuable as my time and piece of mind.
Pampers Baby Dry Size 1 are my favorite after that. I have tried other brands and the cheapest store brand, and nothing works as good as these. If you’re trying to save money though, Luvs really aren’t too bad.
Cloth Diapers – When we used cloth diapers, I loved our Fuzzi Bunz, but I’ve also researched every other brand.
I did try just using some really plain diaper covers over some basic prefolds (which also make great burp cloths) held together with pins with baby #3 for a bit, and this was really the most cost effective method.
Diaper Bag – Most diaper bags have little handles, but I love being able to sling mine over my shoulder when I’m carrying a hundred other things. Once again, we found ours at a thrift store, but I’ve linked to the basic idea I’m talking about.
Breastfeeding
Rocking Chair – I got a rocking chair like this at a garage sale, and it is AMAZING when I pair it with this foot stool. The way that it rocks with big swooping up and down motions is very soothing for babies, more so than a gliding rocking chair, which doesn’t really rock so much as just goes back and forth, but is still pretty dang comfortable. With my last baby, I found a rocking recliner that was complete luxury and something I wished I had for all of my babies. I especially loved how I could tip my head back and take a quick snooze while nursing.
Salt Lamp – When you’re up to nurse in the night, it is nice to have a soft glowing light that’s red to help you see what you’re doing. The red light ensures that the pupils don’t dilate and is perfect for keeping both mom and baby in a state of semi sleep.
Basket – I really love having a table set up near my nursing chair that has everything I may need while breastfeeding. I make sure to keep a full water bottle, my breast pump, burp cloths, Nosefrida, any of my baby calming supplies, fingernail clippers, reading material, lip balm, my cell phone, and anything else I might need while nursing!
Boppy – I love using a bobby to help me get my newborns correctly positioned for breastfeeding. Make sure you get a cover too so you can take it off and wash it when it gets covered with spit up.
My Breast Friend – I never did get one of these, but I recently saw one at a friend’s house. She loved it, and I thought it looked really cool.
Breast Pump – I have exclusively breast fed all of my babies, and this breast pump has helped me at every stage. It got me through the first few days when I couldn’t get my newborn to feed (and used these droppers to feed them), it provided relief when I had plugged ducts and mastitis, it helped me to make a bottle or two so we could have a date night, and it helped me provide milk for my babies when I was working full time for a bit. I had mine given to me by a friend, and just like with every other expensive baby thing, everyone says you should not use someone else’s breast pump, but I think that’s hogwash. If you’re really worried about hygiene, you can buy new parts. This little breast pump is a cheaper alternative, and this hands-free pumping bra is something I wish I would’ve had! When I was working, I used these milk storage bags to freeze my milk, but if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t freeze my milk. The living enzymes won’t survive the freezing process and the plastic will leech into the milk. Live and learn I guess.
Bottles – I have researched many types of bottles, and these seemed to be the best. We have loved them and have used them (when we needed a bottle) for every child. If I had to do it all over again, however, I would buy these glass bottles. Don’t forget a bottle brush!
Nipple Cream – This is great for sore or cracked nipples, but you can just rub a little breast milk on them and let them get some air, and it should do the trick too.
Nursing Bra – I love this bra because it is so easy to unlatch and nurse anywhere and the foam inserts hide my nipples! You might like a nighttime nursing bra to wear to bed too, but I just put a belly band over my breasts, not for the support (I have pretty small breasts), but because my nipples were so sensitive and I didn’t like wearing just a t-shirt anymore.
Nursing Tank Tops – If you think you’ll ever nurse in front of another human being that doesn’t want to see your sagging stomach skin while you lift up your shirt to nurse, you’ll want one (or two or ten) of these. They are also great for covering up your butt crack when you bend over and can double as a bra too.
Diaper Rash Cream – I have tried so many different diaper rash cream products, and nothing, and I mean nothing, even comes close to how amazing this is.
Body Wash – Babies don’t need to be washed that often, but when they do, this is the best product I’ve found for the job. This bar version works just as well.
Baby Oil – This oil is great for a million reasons. I love using it to make my own diaper wipe solution, to put on my babies’ heads to get rid of cradle cap, to put on their butts before meconium poops to make them easier to clean, and to rub into any dry areas. Extra virgin olive oil works just as well too.
Lotion – When babies get dry skin, this is great to have. But if I had to pick lotion or oil, I would pick the oil.
Weleda Starter Kit – This is a great kit to get you started to see if you’ll really like these products. (It also makes a great gift!)
Bag Balm – This is also great for a million reasons. Plus, I just like using it for lip balm, although nothing really compares to my homemade lip balm.
Aquaphor Baby Healing Ointment – This is the best and most healing lotion ever. It’s great for when you need a super duper moisturizer.
Nail Clippers – You really only need to file your baby’s nails at first, and in the beginning, they’ll usually just kind of peel off, but eventually, you’ll want to be able to cut those little daggers!
Comb and Brush – The soft brush is so gentle for your baby’s head and the comb is great for getting rid of cradle cap!
Nosefrida – Forget using a bulb syringe, this thing is the BEST! You’ll also want to get some saline mist.
Colic Calm – I found this with my fourth newborn, and it really worked great on those late nights when he was fussy and nothing else seemed to calm him down. *Check out my blog about how to calm a fussy baby here.
Teething – You won’t need these items right away, but you’ll be happy to have them on hand when the time comes. Check out my blog: How to Relieve Teething Pain.
Teething Gel – This is great for providing some immediate relief.
Clothing and Blankets
Onsies – If it’s spring or summer, you’ll be needing a lot of these! Here’s some basic ones for girls and some basic ones for boys.
Footie Pants – I hate putting socks on newborns. This is a great alternative. 🙂
Sleep Sack – This is just the best for sleepwear. Here’s one for girls too.
Swaddler – This swaddle blanket is great to put over a onsie for babies who like to be swaddled to sleep.
Sleeper – My fall and winter babies pretty much live in these. Here’s some for girls and some for boys. Trust me, you want the zippers on these things!
Socks – If the socks are too tight, they’ll leave marks on chubby little ankles, and that can’t be too comfortable!
Hand Socks – Some babies scratch their faces with their sharp little claws, and these are great, but regular socks work just as well.
Bibs – The bibs with the velcro in the back can sometimes scratch your little ones’ neck. I never thought I would rave about a bib, but these bibs are absolutely the best! They are great for clean up little spit ups and for drool.
Swaddling Blankets – Some of my babies have loved being swaddled, and some don’t. Just make sure when you swaddle, you’re giving the legs room to move around so you don’t cause hip dysplasia. I love these swaddling blankets because they’re really big, they’re breathable, and they’re soft.
Receiving Blanket – These are kind of nice to have around for a spare burp cloth, swaddler, or blanket. Here’s a nice organic version, but gosh that’s expensive!
Silky Blanket – I like going to the fabric store and picking out the best and silkiest fabric and then making my own silky blankets for my babies, but if I had to buy one, this looks pretty good, and so does this one. I carry my baby around with his silky, nurse him with him wrapped up in it, use it to stroke his face and shield his eyes as he falls asleep in my arms, and lay him down with it for naps or at night so he is always near something that smells like me and is comforting.
Special Blanket – If you don’t (gasp) like silkies, something like this would be good too.
Lovie – If you’re not comfortable leaving your baby with a bigger blanket, you can leave them with a little lovie while they nap so they’re not totally alone.
Burp Cloths – Prefold and birdseye diapers work great as burp cloths too. Just make sure you have enough to put EVERYWHERE you might sit with the baby.
Out and About
Infant Car Seat – Having a removable car seat is so convenient for when your little one falls asleep while out and about. This is good until they are 6 months old or 22 lbs and 29 in., but well worth the investment in my opinion. You’ll probably also want a mirror like this to keep tabs on your little one and some window shades.
Car Seat – After they outgrow the infant car seat, you’ll need to upgrade. I recommend something like this because it can be converted to accommodate children from 20-100 lbs.
Stroller – This stroller is great because it fits with the infant car seat. We still have our Graco stroller from our first baby and we use it all the time.
Ergo – I have tried many different different carriers and I love, love, LOVE my Ergo! It is so comfortable to wear, it DOES NOT hurt my back, and I love having my baby snuggled up close facing me. It’s best suited for babies 4 months and older, but you can use the infant insert to accommodate your little one. You’ll want to stay away from the front facing carriers (for extended use anyways) because they can lead to hip dysplasia. I know people who really like the Boba carrier too.
Moby Wrap – It’s a little tricky to figure out how to use one of these, but this video will help! I LOVE using my Moby wrap for my little newborn babies until they are 3 months or so. It’s great to be able to keep them close while you want to have two hands free to do a few things around the house.
Things That Hold Babies or Playthings
Activity Mat – This can be packed up and moved anywhere easily, and all of our babies have loved it. It’s easy to store away. You can lay a baby on it starting at any age.
Bouncy Chair – Now, this isn’t really necessary, but it sure is nice to have a fun little place for your baby to bounce and play while you fold laundry or something. This one is fun too.
Activity Center – As soon as your baby can support himself (about 3 months), he’ll love being entertained in this activity center.
Bumpo – You won’t really need this until your baby is a little older, but we have loved using this with every single baby except our fourth (I’m not really sure why, too busy moving around I guess). It’s a great way to get babies in a sitting position when they’re not quite ready to sit on their own.
Door Jumper – Babies aren’t really ready for this until 6 months or so, but it is a great way for them to jump and move around while you get dinner ready.
Jumperoo – If you don’t have a good door frame to use, or if you have more floor space, this jumperoo is a great way for babies to entertain themselves.
High Chair – Our babies haven’t really been ready for a high chair until 6-8 months, but hey, you’ll use it sooner than you think! I really like how versatile this one is. And don’t forget silverware and a sippy cup. We try to buy most of our dishware glass, like these little glass plates and bowls, but sometimes some BPA free plastic does the trick too.
Toys
Whoozit – This little toy has been a favorite of all of our children, and we love taking it with us when we travel. We have also loved this larger sized Woozit.
Floor Mirror – This is so wonderful for when babies start doing tummy time.
Manhattan Toy Winkle – All of my babies have loved this because it is easy to grab onto, hold, and chew.
Jacques the Peacock – This is a great take-a-long toy with lots to keep a little one busy.
Ziggles – This is another cute take-a-long toy that is very cute.
Sophie the Giraffe Teether – I love how easy this is for little ones to grab and it’s such a fun teething toy.
The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep by Harvey Karp – This book has some great strategies for getting fussy babies to sleep, or check out the video. Really, this could be a life saver!
Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon – This is my food Bible! It has changed my life and helped me prepare healthy food for my family.
NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children – If you’re looking for a more scholarly read, this book is absolutely amazing and has some great insight about children that will blow your mind.
Postpartum
Bellefit Corset – This corset helped me to heal my diastasis recti after baby number three, and I’m currently using it now to heal after baby number four.
After Ease – After baby number three, I was completely floored by the after pains. I got some of this after baby number four, that a heating pad, and bouncing on an exercise ball really helped.
Postnatal Rescue – This is a very gradual workout that will ease you back into shape.
Comfortable (non maternity) Pants – You won’t fit into your regular pants for awhile and you’ll totally wear your maternity clothes for awhile, but it’s nice to have something comfortable that’s not maternity pants after awhile.
Things You Don’t Need
Everything on This List – You most certainly don’t need all of this stuff before the baby is born, and not all of these items are necessary. You have to pick and choose the things that are most important based on your lifestyle, your budget, your space, and your individual needs.
Everything New – I think the benefit of having a list such as this is that it enables you to keep an eye out for bargains and deals. Just knowing what you need can also help you to be better at saying no to impulse buys.
Baby Food Maker – Just use a blender, pre-chew the food, or cut it up into small enough bites.
Baby Bath – Just take the baby into the bath with you. It’s much easier, your baby will be more comforted with you nearby, and you can nurse if he or she gets fussy. You also don’t need special baby towels or wash cloths, but hey, get them if you must!
Outlet Covers – Outlets are only dangerous if a baby is sticking a metal knife into them. If you see them doing this, I think it would be better to tell them no or use some form of distraction. I also don’t think you need cabinet safety locks, toilet seat lock, or baby gates, but now that I’ve mentioned these items, you’re probably just going to get them anyways.
Bottle Rack – Unless you’re formula feeding, then you probably do.
Wipe Warmer – You might still like one, but this is something we never got and never missed.
Make a Registry
If you haven’t done so already, now might be a good time to make a baby registry. If you make one through this link, I will get a $5 referral fee, so thanks! Shop Amazon – Create an Amazon Baby Registry
Amazon Mom
If you’re a mom, grandparent, or caretaker, you try Amazon Mom for free for one month. So check out the following link below to help yourself and give me a small referral fee! Try Amazon Mom for Free
*If you’re looking for the best items to support your pregnancy, check out my blog: Best Pregnancy Items
https://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/A-List-of-Every-Baby-Item-Youll-Ever-Need.png400810Stacey Maaserhttps://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EM_Logo.pngStacey Maaser2015-05-06 04:47:002024-06-06 14:04:52Everything You’ll Need for a New Baby
Just when you think your baby is sleeping like a champ…teething hits! Your baby (or toddler) who was once perfect and happy is now just miserable all of the time. Of course you want to make your little one feel better, but the reality is that teething just plain old sucks and there’s not much we can do about it. Just know that it is a temporary phase in life, and while this sounds silly to say right now, just keep repeating to yourself,
This too shall pass.
The absolute best thing for teething is time. Time. Time will pass, teething will end, and eventually you will get your sweet happy child back. But in the meantime, here are a few options that might make things more bearable.
1. Nursing
Nursing and skin to skin contact has been scientifically proven to provide pain relief. Babies have a tendency to nurse more while teething (yes, all through the night too). This has always been my number one go to for pain relief when my little ones are teething. Now, when those two year molars have come in, and I’m not nursing anymore, well, that’s another story….
2. Cold or Frozen Washcloth
Whenever you tell ANYONE that your child is teething, the first thing they will tell you is to get a wet washcloth and let them chew on it. Every time I have a teething child, I am always excited to try this first and then immediately disappointed because it has never worked for me, but I do think it is a good place to start…especially for the front teeth. 🙂
3. Chamomile
I have actually never used this, but after a bit of research to update this article, I plan on trying it next time I encounter teething with a little one. Chamomile is safe for babies and has a calming effect that can help just about any fussy baby situation. You will want to brew a strong batch of tea (get some here) and then either soak the washcloth in it, add some to your baby’s bottle, or make a frozen popsicle out of it.
4. Amber Teething Necklace
I didn’t find out about amber teething necklaces until our third child, and now I swear by them! Every child is different and this may not work for everyone, but I have noticed a significant difference when using ours. The positive effect becomes most apparent when I think, “Oh, they’re sleeping fine now…time to take the necklace off,” and then BAM they are up in the night again! Amber teething necklaces are made from fossilized tree resin and exude succinic acid oil that has an analgesic effect similar to Ibuprofen. Read more about amber teething necklaces in my blog: Do Amber Teething Necklaces Really Work? Just keep in mind that it takes 24 hours for the pain relief to take effect.
Ophelia Wearing Amber and Allspice Teething Necklaces
5. Allspice Teething Necklace
I learned about allspice teething necklaces from my midwife and have had great success using them. They basically release tannins that strengthen the gums and help the teeth to break through the gums more quickly. This are particularly helpful when there’s a stubborn tooth that keeps teasing you by emerging a little bit, then going down, emerging a little bit more, creating pain and inflammation, then going back down, etc. Every time this has happened with our children and we put an allspice necklace on them, the stubborn tooth pops through within 48 hours. For more information, check out my blog: How to Make an Allspice Necklace That Will Help with Teething.
How to Make an Allspice Teething Necklace
6. Clove Bud Oil
I am kind of hesitant to put this here because it is recommended that many (if not all)essential oils be avoided on children under 2(and I have never personally never used this on a child under 2), but when my 2 year old was recently cutting his 2 year molars and NOTHING was seeming to help, I diluted equal parts olive oil and clove bud oil and applied it to his gums. (*This would be great for storage or you can buy a pre-made mixture here.) He didn’t like it at first, but within minutes he went from crazy screaming/crying to totally calm and happy. The eugenol in clove oil is a numbing agent as well as anti-inflammatory, but if used too often, the skin becomes more tolerant.
7. Teething Toys
During the day, I try to use as little “medication” as possible and instead try to help my babies find teething relief by chewing on things. They love chewing on my fingers, their fingers, or anything else that seems to be within reach, but there are a few toys that have worked really well too.
Sophie the Giraffe – Yes, it’s plastic and we do try to stay away from it most of the time, but this is phthalate and BPA free, so that’s good, and our little ones love this toy! This is my number one recommendation.
Manhattan Toy Winkel – Don’t ask me why, but every single child we’ve had has loved chewing on and playing with this toy. We’ve had to buy several. It is BPA free.
Teething Ring – I like this basic teething ring because it’s easy for a baby to hold onto and they can chew anywhere. This one is BPA free.
Mesh Food Feeder – I personally have never used this, but I have heard so many people talk about it, that I just had to give it a mention. People like to put frozen bananas in them for babies to chew on to provide some relief. It seems like a great idea!
8. Orajel
Orajel basically works by numbing the gums. There’s a daytime version and a nighttime version that has a stronger potency. Sometimes, babies are totally bothered by the taste and the fact that it’s creating a different sensation, but once they get over the uncomfortableness of the application, they get a bit of pain relief, and sometimes that is just what they need to get back to sleep or to calm down. I try not to overuse this and only apply it when my little ones are really fussy and I can’t seem to console them any other way. If they are overtired and having trouble falling asleep or if they keep waking up because of the pain, I feel like these are both perfect times to use Orajel.
*Watch Out: The benzocaine gel can lead to a rare (but serious and sometimes fatal) condition called methemoglobinemia where the amount of oxygen in the blood stream is greatly reduced.
Ibuprofen is only recommended for babies 6 months and older. Ibuprofen works by limiting the body’s production of fatty acids called prostaglandins. This helps to reduce fevers, body aches, pain caused by prostaglandins, and inflammation. It is slightly more powerful and lasts longer than acetaminophen, and because of this, should only be taken every six to eight hours and no more than three times in a 24-hour period. It can irritate the stomach so it’s best if it’s taken with some kind of food.
You can check out this dosage chart to see the proper amount to give your child according to his or her weight. I know that some people try to avoid giving their babies any medication whatsoever and others give it at every little whimper. I used to be right in the middle and weigh out the amount of sleep we were getting, etc., but now I’m very very hesitant to give drugs for any reason and only do so on rare occasions.
*Watch Out: Ibuprofen (like any other drug) has a long list of potential side effects. Most commonly there is stomach bleeding, but there are many other possible allergic reactions as well.
10. What About Acetaminophen? (i.e. Tylenol)
Like Ibuprofen (Motrin), acetaminophen (Tylenol) reduces fever, body aches, and pain, but not inflammation. It is milder on the digestive tract, so it doesn’t need to be taken with food. In large doses, however, it can be very toxic to the liver. Doctors recommend giving children the fewest doses needed to keep them comfortable. So at most, this would be every four to six hours, and no more than five times in a 24 hour period.
You can check out this dosage chart to see how much you should give your child according to his or her weight. We were once told by a pediatrician to alternate between ibuprofen and acetaminophen for pain relief, but after learning about the dangers of both, we’re not so sure about this anymore.
*Watch Out: A recent study (Sept. 2016) came out linking asthma and attention deficit disorders in babies born to women who used acetaminophen while pregnant leading some to draw the conclusion that without the mother’s detoxification systems, this drug would be even more damaging to an infant. This information has caused us to suspend all acetaminophen usage. (Source)
11. Arnica
Arnica is a homeopathic alternative to conventional pain medications (get some arnica teething tablets here). It eases swelling, soreness, and promotes healing by reducing swelling. I have personally never tried it for teething (although we have had success using the topical gel for bruising), but if you want to avoid ibuprofen and acetaminophen, this might be a good alternative.
In Conclusion
Whenever I have a child who is bothered by teething, I feel like my entire world pauses for a bit. Sleep regresses, I slip back into survival mode, we do what we can to get through the painful moments, and the days seems to stretch on into eternity. But then, as suddenly as it begins, the gradual release of pain gives me my child back and teething becomes but a vague memory.
As I update this article and prepare for baby #5, I am not looking forward to the phases of teething, but I know that I will reflect on this list and use my best judgement to provide my little guy with the relief that he (and I) may desperately need to get through some of the toughest moments. Having options, being informed, and having a plan can do wonders for the anxiety we feel as parents dealing with children who are in pain, so do your research, find what works for you, and always remember that “this too shall pass”.
*You might enjoy some of my other blogs about teething.
There is a lot of uncertainty about amber teething necklaces. Some people swear by them, and some people think they’re a placebo. I have personally had a tremendous amount of success with using amber teething necklaces to relieve teething pain, and I wanted to share a bit about how they have worked for us and why.
Amber Teething Necklace
How Amber Teething Necklaces Have Worked for Us
I didn’t even hear about amber teething necklaces until our third child, Ophelia. She seemed to be bothered by teething way more than our first two had, and so I was frantically searching for anything that might work when I stumbled across amber teething necklaces on Amazon. Ophelia didn’t start teething until she was ten months old, but then all of her teeth came in at once, so of course she was in pain, and the pain bothered her and kept her up in the night…a lot.
Ophelia Wearing Her Amber Teething Necklace
After wearing the amber teething necklace for about 24 hours, we noticed a marked difference. Instead of getting up in the night every hour, she was only up a couple of times and easily soothed back to sleep. Months later, we started wondering if her better sleep habits and general happiness were a mere coincidence or they were really tied to the necklace, so we took it off to test things out. Big mistake! That night was one of the worst! After we put the necklace back on for another 24 hours, it was smooth sailing once again.
When we noticed that no more teeth were coming in, we took her necklace off (and have since lost it), so when she started showing signs of getting her two year molars in, I bought another necklace. This time, I didn’t get an Art of the Cure necklace, but some cheap knock off, and it hasn’t seemed to make a bit of difference.
Our youngest son, Julian, started getting his first teeth in when he was only four months old. His first tooth didn’t seem to bother him a bit as it broke through, but the second one was just creating this big bulbous ulcer and nothing seemed to work until I put on an allspice necklace that helped his tooth to pop through within 48 hours. He hasn’t seemed to be too bothered by the whole teething thing, but he still gets up quite a bit in the night. After wearing his amber teething necklace for 24 hours, he seems to be in a much better mood and his sleeping is more soundly.
How Do Amber Teething Necklaces Work?
Amber teething necklaces are made from fossilized tree resin. The baltic amber is mined near the Baltic sea and contains a substance called succinic acid. This succinic acid is actually an oil that is released from the amber when exposed to heat, such as body heat. Succinic acid works like Ibprofen since it blocks pain and reduces inflammation. It also has other healing benefits such as strengthening the immune system by working as an antioxidant and restoring energy.
“The human body naturally produces succinic acid. The salt of succinic acid (succinate) is one of the most active substances in the processes of cellular respiration and intercellular energy creation. Succinic acid restores oxygen and energy supply to depleted cells and helps the body return to a normal, functioning state,” from Hazelaid.
Is it Real Amber?
The odds of finding fake amber beads made of plastic in teething necklaces are pretty slim. Most fake amber products are going to be priced in the three figure range and be used for things like bugs trapped in amber. If you look at the beads, they shouldn’t all be perfectly smooth and the exact same size and shape. Real amber beads will have air bubbles, be clear enough to let light pass through, and have imperfections within the beads. They will also have a slightly tacky feel versus being slick like glass or plastic. The necklace will feel lighter in your hands than you would expect it to.
Does it Need to be Worn Around the Neck?
The amber beads work best when they are close to the source of pain, and that is why it is recommended that they be worn around the neck. This is why people with arthritis or carpel tunnel syndrome will sometimes wrap these beads around their wrists for relief.
But is it a choking hazard? I’ll admit, the thought of my child wearing a beaded necklace scared me initially, but after watching my little ones wear them, I’m not worried at all. The necklace should be loose enough around the neck, and yes, it may get lost in a few neck rolls, but I haven’t seen anything that made me feel like it was a choking hazard.
Julian Wearing an Amber Teething Necklace
If you’re really worried however, look for a necklace that has a pop off clasp that can detach if it gets tugged on. I personally like the twist on clasp, however. The beads on most necklaces are individually knotted, so if it were to break somehow, you’re not going to end up with loose beads all over the place. Also, don’t worry about your child chewing on the beads. First of all, it’s not designed to be used that way (so don’t encourage it), and second of all, it’s not long enough.
Those who are still uncomfortable with the idea of the necklace being around the neck can wrap the necklace around the wrist or ankle and put a sock over it, although I cannot personally attest to how effective this would be.
Should I Take It Off?
People also wonder if they should let their little ones wear the necklace all the time or take it off for baths, etc. Well, first of all, the necklace needs to be worn for a full 24 hours to achieve the full benefit, so taking it off and on isn’t a good idea. Second, it’s totally waterproof and does just fine in the bath, so it really doesn’t need to come off for any reason.
Sometimes, Julian’s necklace would get stuck in the fat rolls on his neck and leave little red marks. I would always try to pull it away from his skin so that it didn’t sit in any one spot for too long, and I made sure that his neck was always wiped down and clean after he spit up.
In Conclusion
When your little one is in pain, and you don’t want to resort to giving them pain medication every day for the next two years as teething occurs, amber teething necklaces are a wonderful way to do what you can to keep your little one pain free. I have personally seen the success of using them, but even if there was only a slim to none chance that it worked, I still feel like saying, “Hey, what have you got to lose?” Either they work and your baby is able to finally get some relief, or they don’t and now your baby just looks cute in his or her necklace.
I have tried a few different brands of teething necklaces and I feel the the Art of the Cure Amber Teething Necklaces are the most effective. If you click on the link, it’s for the lighter colored amber. Here’s a link for one that’s a little darker. For $18.99, I feel like it’s well worth the price. I’ve purchased a cheaper one that was more on the decorative side, and it wasn’t as effective. Good luck!
Amber Teething Necklace from Art of the Cure
*You might enjoy some of my other blogs about teething.
When I see my little ones go through teething pain, it just breaks my heart, and I want to help them in any way possible. By making this allspice teething necklace which releases tannins into the body that strengthen the gums, it helps the teeth to break through more quickly and thus shortens the time they are in pain. I didn’t learn about this allspice teething necklace until my third child, and I only wish I had known about it sooner! It is simply amazing!
Teething Doesn’t Bother Everyone
Some children seem to be really bothered by teething and some don’t. With my four children, the two girls have had the toughest time ever with teething, my older son seemed to not be bothered at all, and my youngest son was fine when his first tooth popped out, but now this second one is being a real bugger!
When the Allspice Necklace Helps the Most
The thing that’s really frustrating about teething is when you see the gum start to bulge like a big bulbous ulcer about to burst, and then you wait and you wait and you wait…and you wait some more, but nothing happens. You look into your baby’s mouth with baited breath every time you change his diaper, hoping to find a little white ridge poking through the gum, but alas, there is nothing there. Then, one day, it looks like something is starting to peek through, but then when you go to show your spouse, it’s gone…the phantom tooth! THIS type of scenario is the perfect time to use an allspice necklace.
It Really Works!
It takes a bit of time and a little bit of work to make one of these necklaces, so I’m always a bit reluctant, but then when I finally do it, I think, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
Ophelia didn’t start getting her teeth until she was ten months old, but then they came all at once. One after another, and it was excruciating for her (and for us). Her amber teething necklace really helped with the pain, but she had a couple of stubborn teeth that would just not pop through. So I made her the necklace and within 24 hours, a tooth popped up, and she actually slept peacefully that night.
Now, our youngest son Julian, who at 4 months old, is already teething! His first tooth popped through without any of us hardly noticing, but this second one is being really shy for some reason. He’s been up every hour in the night, constantly fussy and crying, and that darn tooth just won’t pop through. So, I pulled out my allspice beads and got to work making an allspice teething necklace. Just like with Ophelia, within 48 hours, the tooth popped through and peace fell over the household once again.
Julian’s Tooth Popped Through
How Does the Allspice Help with Teething?
My midwife was the one who first introduced me to the concept of an allspice necklace being used to help with teething. She said that the allspice released tannins that helped to stiffen the gums which makes it easier for the tooth to come out. Since then, I haven’t been able to find a whole lot of “science” to prove this point. I just know that it has worked for me and countless others.
How to Make an Allspice Teething Necklace
Making your own necklace is kind of a pain, but since they only last for about 6 months and if you’re like me with a bunch of young kids and making these often, then it would be a good investment. Otherwise, if you just go to Etsy and do a search, you can find some already made. Easy Peasy.
Materials Needed
Whole Allspice(I like to buy mine here. You can get the organic kind here or a small quantity here.)
*Magnetic Necklace Clasp(I have never used one, but if you’re worried about a choking hazard, this might be a good idea. Get one here.)
Small Pot
Paper Towel
Scissors
Directions
Boil the Allspice: Place about a cup of whole allspice beads in a small pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil, turn the heat off, and let them sit there for about ten minutes. (This softens the beads so that you can puncture them with a needle.)
Boiling Allspice for a Teething Necklace
Drain the Water: Strain them into a colander and dump onto some paper towel.
Boiled Allspice Draining in a Colander
Thread your Needle: Tie the thread off close to the needle. (You don’t need to make a double string, but you can if you want.)
Put the Allspice On: Find the little dimple in the allspice “bead”, and puncture it with your needle. Use your thimble (or any hard surface) to press the needle gently through the bead. Be careful not to split the allspice. If you do, just discard it, and grab another one. I like to use the biggest allspice beads that I can find so that it will be easier to thread and be the most effective.
Allspice Necklace for Teething
Measure: You might want to measure the thread length first, but I just eyeball when it looks close enough to my child’s neck and then hold it up to see. When it’s wrapped around the neck, you want there to be a few fingers width of extra length.
Tie it On: Tie the ends together and clip the extra string.
5 Month Old Julian with His Allspice Teething Necklace
Watch Closely: Some children may be allergic to the allspice or just have really sensitive skin. If you notice a red rash develop, I would just take it off. Also, keep watch to make sure it is comfortable and not getting stuck in neck rolls and making red marks.
Try to Fit the Allspice Teething Necklace Around the Neck Rolls
FAQs
Will the necklace choke my child? This was my first question when I heard of this! It just seemed so weird to put a necklace on such a little tyke. But with the stretchy band, I don’t really see this as a risk. If you’re worried about it, however, you just have to see it on your child, watch them carefully at first, and then make your own determination. After seeing my own children wear both this and the amber teething necklace, I am not worried about choking.
Can my child wear it on his or her wrist or ankle? If you still can’t get past the choking thing, you can wrap the necklace around your child’s ankle and put a sock over it to hold it in place. I don’t think this method is as effective, but it might still do the trick.
Can my child wear it in the bath? Yes, your child can wear the necklace all the time – day and night and in the bath. I suppose you could make some kind of little clasp to be able to take the necklace off and on, but I just tie mine on and leave it there as long as it’s needed.
How long is it effective? As long as you can still smell the allspice, it should still be effective. They will typically last for about 6 months or so. I usually put one on my child as the teeth are coming through, and then take it off after they pop. When my child needs another one, I’ll just make another one.
In Conclusion
When I look at my little ones teething and then I try to imagine what I would be like if I had a mouth full of sores all the time, I think of two things. 1) You bet your buttons I would be cranky too! 2) This must be why children don’t have vivid memories of these years (thankfully). As a mom seeing her children go through something painful and just plain awful, I want to do whatever I can do mitigate the pain. This allspice necklace may take a bit of effort, but on the slim chance that it might just work, it’s well worth it in my book! *If you don’t feel like making one, you can probably find one on Etsy. 🙂
*You might enjoy some of my other blogs about teething.
https://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/embracing-motherhood.com-3.png400810Stacey Maaserhttps://embracing-motherhood.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/EM_Logo.pngStacey Maaser2015-04-17 10:33:172024-06-06 14:04:11How to Make an Allspice Teething Necklace