Tag Archive for: babies

10 Tips for Getting Rid of a Yeast Infection While Pregnant

How to Get Rid of a Yeast Infection While Pregnant

If you are pregnant and have a yeast infection, put down the cake! I repeat, PUT DOWN THE CAKE! If you want to learn how too much sugar (and a lack of probiotics) creates a breeding ground for yeast infections during pregnancy, check out my blog Why Pregnant Women are More Prone to Yeast Infections. But if you’re just “itching” for a cure, read on.

After five pregnancies and plenty of yeast infections, I think I’ve finally figured out how to get rid of yeast infections while pregnant. Getting a yeast infection while pregnant is the worst because it can be painful, bothersome, and really hard to get rid of. In addition, it can lead to thrush in both you and your new baby after birth, and dealing with thrush makes having a yeast infection while pregnant seem like a walk in the park. So you really really really want to make sure your yeast infection is gone by the time you give birth.

28 weeks pregnant at a midwife appointment

28 Weeks Pregnant with Ophelia

How to Know if You Have a Yeast Infection

It’s recommended that the first time you have a yeast infection, you go to the doctor to have it properly diagnosed, but once you’ve gotten them a few times, you’ll just know. Here are the things to look for.

Itching
Soreness
Pain or burning during urination or sex
Redness
Swollen
Possibly a thick, clumpy, white discharge that has no odor and looks like cottage cheese

Bacterial vaginosis (and some sexually transmitted diseases) can have many of the same symptoms, but the bacterial vaginosis discharge will have a “fishy” odor to it. They say you’ll need antibiotics to cure it, but if you take antibiotics, it will wipe out all of your bacteria (both good and bad), and it will make your chances of getting a yeast infection EVEN WORSE. I can only imagine that going from bacterial vaginosis to a yeast infection would be no fun!

When to Try Natural Remedies

Whenever I’m pregnant, I can feel my body changing in many ways, and with each subsequent pregnancy (currently rocking #5 as I update this blog), I can feel my candida issues flare up again. I know this is because of the way my body processes sugar and other things (read more about WHY pregnant women are more prone to yeast infections here), and it’s never any fun to deal with.

I always start with all of the natural remedies first when I feel the faintest itch of a yeast infection tingling, and by doing so, I am often able to keep things at bay…but once my symptoms turn into a full blown yeast infection, then the natural remedies actually seem to make things worse.

When you think about how candida albicans works, you have to understand that first of all it is a natural part of our digestive system living in our colon helping us ferment our undigested food (i.e. prebiotics…read more about the fascinating world of digestion here), and second of all, during pregnancy it can very easily grow out of control. It is a living organism and will fight to survive, hence the reason why it grows stronger and more resilient when you start to battle it. But stay strong sister, and you can win this war!

1. Over the Counter Anti-Fungal Medication

So, if I’ve tried all of the natural preventative measures and things still progress to a full blown yeast infection, I’ll run out to the drug store and shell out the $15 for the cheapest 3 or 7-day anti-fungal treatment. Now, don’t make the same mistake that I did with my first pregnancy and get the one day treatment. You are too sensitive while pregnant to handle such intensity, and it will burn like the dickens!

Most over the counter brands will list clotrimazole or miconazole as the active ingredient. The miconazole is more specifically designed to kill fungus in the vagina and the clotrimazole is typically used for skin fungus, so I would go with that miconazole first. (This is my favorite 3-day treatment.) Then, insert the capsules/cream every day for the full amount of recommended time. Even if your symptoms go away, keep going the full three or seven days or else the fungus will come back even stronger!

Now, it’s important to note that this remedy only treats the symptoms, not the cause. So, if you were to use ONLY this treatment, it is very likely that the underlying reasons that caused the yeast infection to appear in the first place will still be in place and cause yet another yeast infection.

2. Chamomile

I recently attended a nutrition class for pregnant women and learned that chamomile is actually very good at killing candida overgrowth! It is also super safe for pregnant women and has a calming effect as well. You can drink chamomile tea or even take chamomile supplements. You might want to start here before using the over the counter medication as well.

3. Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse

This is what I did during my fourth pregnancy that helped me to FINALLY get rid of my chronic and ongoing yeast infection! All of the other tips certainly help as well, but this was truly the nail in the coffin. Apple cider vinegar is an anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, and anti-viral miracle worker. It acts like a sponge and draws out germs and toxins from the surrounding tissue. It also stimulates acetolysis in which toxic wastes (like candida) are broken down and rendered harmless.

To make an apple cider vinegar rinse, take a peri bottle and fill it with about 2 T. of apple cider vinegar and the rest filtered water (chlorine free), and put it near your toilet. After you wipe (always front to back), squirt the solution on the outside of your vagina and let it air dry. (Stand in front of a fan for extra relief!) I would also do this after getting out of the shower. I continued to do this for at least a week or two after my symptoms were gone to make sure the infection was really eliminated, and this was REALLY helpful!

You can actually squirt it inside the vagina or douche with it if you want, but I would wait until the irritation is gone, however, or else it will really burn. You can also make the solution a little stronger if you’re brave enough, but if it’s too strong, it will burn even if you’re not irritated at the time.

4. Garlic

Garlic is one of nature’s greatest infection fighters. Not only does it help to stimulate the immune system, but it destroys candida (among other pathogens) and inhibits its growth.

At the first signs of a yeast infection, you can take a peeled clove of garlic and insert it into your vagina, usually at night, and then take it out the next morning. If the yeast infection is in the early stages, you might be able to kill it off this way after one or two nights. I have heard stories of this working for others, but it has just never worked very well for me…plus I don’t like how it makes my entire body smell like garlic.

I prefer instead to take these garlic supplements instead. They provide all of the benefits of garlic without giving you garlic breath! Whenever you use any natural method, you want to mix things up a bit so that the yeast doesn’t become resistant to your treatments, so I’ll typically take these garlic supplements for a few days (in the morning, 20 minutes or so after eating some food), give it a break for a few more days while using something else, and then use them again until my symptoms are gone.

5. Eat Fermented Foods

Fermented foods such as anything like sourdough, kombucha, yogurt, keifer, and sauerkraut are full of healthy probiotics (such as lactobacilli) that help to crowd out the yeast and keep it from growing out of control. I always try to eat as many of these foods as I can anyways, but especially so when I’m pregnant. I always have a jar of sourdough starter on my counter, and when I feel the mere tinglings of a yeast infection, or just as a preventative measure, I like to eat a small spoonful of the starter first thing in the morning (after a bit of food would probably be better, but I never remember that!). Recently, I had a friend make me some lacto-fermented sauerkraut, and I’ve really been enjoying that as well.

When you’re trying to get rid of a yeast infection, it’s really a balanced approach between killing the fungus and then crowding it out with good bacteria. Fermented foods are an excellent way to populate your vagina (along with your gastrointestinal tract) with good bacteria.

If you have good gut health, it’s also important to include plenty of prebiotic foods so that the probiotics will have something to feed on. Prebiotics are different kinds of fiber that we can’t digest, but that encourage beneficial species of gut flora to grow. They include dandelion greens, garlic and onions, asparagus, and chicory (found in teccino, a wonderful coffee substitute). If you have poor gut health, however, these prebiotic foods may cause stomach pains, gas, and bloating.

6. Probiotic Supplements

While fermented foods are great, sometimes you just need an extra boost, especially if you’ve recently taken a course of antibiotics that have wiped out not only the bad bacteria, but the good as well, and you need to repopulate your gut.

I have taken many different types of probiotic treatments, and these two have been my favorite. Bio Kult Candea is specifically designed to deal with candida. It has a garlic component that makes it have a bit of an odor, but it really works. Custom Probiotics come very highly recommended and work very well for eliminating yeast infections. When I have felt a yeast infection coming on, I like to alternate between these two brands and take two every morning after eating a bit of food. I have tried other probiotic supplements (such as the ones you’ll find in the grocery store) in the past and didn’t really notice much of a difference, but with these brands (and by following these other steps), my yeast infection would go away and not keep reoccurring.

*Note: With my fifth pregnancy, I added a the Bio Kult Candea to my daily vitamin routine, and it was really helpful with preventing yeast infections.

7. Coconut Oil

Coconut oil has capric acid, caprylic acid, and lauric acid that are all medium chain fatty acids that have great anti-fungal properties. Dr. Bruce Fife, a naturopathic physician and certified nutritionist and president of the Coconut Research Center in Colorado Springs, CO, explains that,

“Medium chain fatty acids penetrate cell membranes….when they’re absorbed by an organism that is not beneficial, they penetrate the cell membrane and weaken the cell, so it just disintegrates. Then white blood cells go in and gobble up the waste material.”

I love using as much coconut oil (I like this brand of coconut oil.) in my cooking as possible to help prevent and treat yeast infections, but you could also put a spoonful in your tea every morning, just batten down the hatches and eat a spoonful straight up, or you can take a caprylic acid capsule. Whenever I feel a yeast infection starting, I pop a few of these every morning.

8. Eliminate Sugar

Ok, so I’m hiding this one towards the end, because it sucks, but it is really THE most important step. If you are pregnant, past your 23rd week, and battling a yeast infection, you absolutely have to give up sugar (which is basically in all processed foods) to help get rid of your yeast infection for good. You can read my blog: The Real Reason Why Pregnant Women Get Yeast Infections to learn more about the science of why this is, but basically, your hormones are causing your blood sugar to sky rocket which creates an optimal breeding ground for candida. In order to really get rid of the candida, you have to reduce its food source…sugar.

Now, I’m not talking about complex carbohydrates here…you need those to fuel your body and your growing baby. I’m talking about pure sugar…Little Debbies, Laffy Taffy, Oreos, white bread, etc.

I think it’s best to eliminate sugar cold turkey. You might feel miserable at first because as the candida dies, it tries to fight it and you get these nasty die off symptoms (head aches, brain fog, fatigue), but they’ll go away after a short time, and then you will feel better than ever. When I’ve gone on a candida cleanse, this website has been really helpful in providing dietary guidelines.

Just beware that if you ever cut out ALL carbohydrates to try to completely starve the candida, it will turn into its most virulent form, and that can reek even more havoc on your body. You’re not trying to completely eliminate the yeast, just keep it under control.

9. Take Care of Yourself

If you’re like me, the first trimester tiredness is just brutal, and as you enter the 2nd trimester, you might take for granted how good you feel and start to get a bit lax on the sleep. But by taking care of your body by first of all getting PLENTY of rest, your body’s immune system can work in its optimal state to help you fend off pathogens like candida. Next, it’s important to fill yourself with nutrient dense food and avoid commercially processed crap as much as you can. You are growing a human being, and you need to eat…and eat well! Don’t wait until you’re starving and then eat an entire bag of potato chips! Plan out those meals in advance (check out my favorite recipes here), and feed yourself and your growing baby some good food!

If you’re feeling a bit under the weather, these Pure Radiance 100% natural vitamin C capsules are AMAZING! I also like taking this Organic Liquid Prenatal Formula (I hate swallowing big bulky prenatal pills!) and this Fermented Cod Liver Oil (or this if our budget is a little tight).

10. Let Your Vagina Breathe

Candida thrives in warm wet areas where there is no oxygen, and so in order to prevent candida from growing out of control, you want to let your vagina breathe. You can do this by wearing cotton panties like these, which are very comfortable while you’re pregnant anyways!

A big mistake I made while pregnant was wearing panty liners every day for any accidents (Watch yourself when you sneeze, you will pee a little bit!) and/or leakage, but I really think this contributed to my yeast infection problem. A better option would have been something like this or just changing my underwear more often. You’ll also want to avoid wearing super tight skinny jeans, and instead opt for something more comfortable like these. And of course, don’t sit around all day with a wet bathing suit on.

Other Remedies

Gentian Violet: When I was researching Gentian Violet for my oral thrush article, I came across a comment from a verified purchase on Amazon where the woman soaked tampons in Gentian Violet and inserted them for seven days and totally healed her chronic yeast infections. Gentian Violet worked wonders getting rid of my baby’s oral thrush, so I would have to say that this sounds like a pretty good idea if you’re desperate for a cure.
Hydrogen Peroxide: I have heard a lot of positive information lately about using a hydrogen peroxide rinse to get rid of yeast infections. This makes sense since when the lactobacilli in a healthy vagina “feed” on glycogen, one of their byproducts is actually hydrogen peroxide. But when I’ve tried this remedy, I’ve found that it has no effect.

Remedies to Avoid While Pregnant

*Grapefruit Seed Extract: Grapefruit seed extract can be taken orally or applied topically, and in addition to killing yeast, it has vitamin A, E, and bioflavanoids. But it’s not technically recommended for pregnant and breastfeeding women because it can be toxic if taken at 4,000 times the suggested dose (so I think it’s okay to use at the recommended dosage). I tried it when I was battling thrush with my little newborn baby, it only sort of worked, and it seemed to bother her, so I’m not sure about this one.
*Boric Acid: The link above also mentions putting some boric acid into a hydrogen peroxide douche, and while boric acid is good at treating persistent and recurring yeast infections where you may be battling a different strain of candida, it is not recommended for pregnant women.
*Oregano Capsules: Oregano oil is really great at preventing and treating yeast infections because it contains two very effective antimicrobial agents called carvacrol and thymol that react with the water in your bloodstream to dehydrate and kill the Candida yeast cells. Unfortunately, it increases the blood flow to the uterus which weakens the lining around the fetus, so you don’t want to take it while you’re pregnant.
*Oral Fluconazole: Fluconazole (or the brand name Diflucan) are both oral antifungal medications. They are processed by the liver and enter the bloodstream where they attack the fungus. but this is very hard on your liver, and if you’re pregnant, it can harm the fetus. Also, if you are taking oral birth control, it can make it less effective. (But geez louise, I hope you’re not taking birth control when you’re pregnant!) The oral medications are recommended for women that have been battling an ongoing yeast infection for a year or more.

In Conclusion

Treating any type of candida overgrowth is really a three step process.

Kill the Fungus/Control the Overgrowth – You can never completely get rid of it because it’s a part of the digestive process, but you can control the overgrowth.
Probiotics – Candida and probiotics both feed on the same thing…sugar, so make sure you have more probiotics in your gut rather than candida.
Diet – Eliminate processed foods and sugar and instead opt for as much nutrient dense food as you can.

Treating a yeast infection while pregnant can be a very stressful and frustrating thing when you feel like no matter what you do, you can’t really get rid of it. It’s not something to be taken lightly, however, because if a baby is born vaginally when the mother has a yeast infection, it can pass the candida on to the baby, which may turn into thrush. Thrush can make breastfeeding both difficult and painful, and it is even harder to get rid of than a yeast infection during pregnancy. Read by blog: How to Identify and Deal with Oral Thrush in Babies for more information about this topic.

So, do whatever you can to completely eliminate your yeast infection during pregnancy by following the steps that make sense to you and your situation. Good Luck!

May 12, 2015/by Stacey Maaser

Why Pregnant Women are More Prone to Yeast Infections and Gestational Diabetes

General, Mom Talk, Pregnancy

The real reason why pregnant women get yeast infections (or any woman for that matter) isn’t really talked about or widely known in laymen’s terms. The same reasons are what also contributes to pregnant women getting gestational diabetes. When I’ve asked the Internet to tell me about this topic, every single blog, website, and article seems to regurgitate the same simplistic information, but I am sick of treating the symptoms of yeast infections during pregnancy without really knowing WHY, and so I set out to find the root cause, and this is what I found.

Eating Ice Cream While Pregnant for Ruby

The real reason why pregnant women get yeast infections has to do with these two main factors:

The increase in estrogen while pregnant (which also occurs during menstruation, from oral contraceptives, and through hormone replacement therapy) leads to an increase in glycogen, which is supposed to “feed” the lactobacilli that reside in a healthy vagina, but if no lactobacilli are present (thanks to antibiotics for one or just poor gut flora for another) and candida is present, the candida will grow unchecked until there is an overgrowth, hence creating a yeast infection.
Human Placental Lactogen hormone (hPL), which is produced by the placenta in increasing amounts until the 23rd week when it plateaus, shuttles incoming glucose to the baby, meanwhile leaving the mother hungry so she reaches for more and more “glucose” which creates higher and higher blood sugar that can lead to insulin resistance and gestational diabetes at an accelerated rate, and this high blood sugar paves the way for candida growth and yeast infections.

So basically, when pregnant women have poor gut flora and continue to eat large amounts of sugar, it sets up an environment that is the “perfect storm” for yeast infections. If you’d like to explore these concepts further, come and learn with me, but if you’re just “itchin'” for a cure, check out my blog: How to Get Rid of a Yeast Infection While Pregnant.

The Role of Glycogen in the Vagina

The vaginal walls are made up of vaginal squamous epithelial cells that store glycogen. Glycogen is how the body stores small amounts of carbohydrates which are later broken down into glucose and used by the cells for energy.

Vaginal Squamous Epithelial Cells (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons, Fæ, 2013)

In the vagina, glycogen acts as a prebiotic that feeds lactobacilli bacteria (commonly known as a probiotic, or good bacteria). So basically, the lactobacilli bacteria feeds on the glycogen.

Lactobacillus Organisms and Vaginal Squamous Epithelial Cell (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons, Rasbak, 2006)

During this process of feeding on the glycogen, lactobacilli produce two byproducts. The first byproduct is lactic acid, which helps to further reduce the pH of the vagina. The second byproduct is hydrogen peroxide, which is also acidic and repels unfriendly vaginal flora, such as candida albicans, escherichia coli, and gardnerella vaginalis (this is why there are natural remedies to cure yeast infections that call for the use of hydrogen perioxide). So basically, the role of glycogen (how the body stores carbohydrates, i.e. sugar) is to feed lactobacilli bacteria, which helps to keep the vagina in its optimal acidic state.

How Estrogen Effects Glycogen

When estrogen levels are high (specifically estridol), it encourages more glycogen to be released. Estrogen levels are high during menstruation, from the use of oral contraceptives, through hormone replacement therapy, and they are especially through the roof high during pregnancy. So when estrogen levels are high, the lactobacilli bacteria should have more to feed on due to the increase in glycogen. This is the body’s way of ensuring extra protection against microbial pathogens during a special time when the body is preparing to grow life.

How Glycogen Feeds Candida

Now, let’s say that more glycogen is being released due to an increase in estrogen, but there aren’t enough lactobacilli bacteria (maybe because a dose of antibiotics wiped them all out or there were just never many to begin with due to poor gut flora) to consume them. What then? Well, what we would have then is a vagina ripe with glycogen, which will be released into the vagina as glucose. So there will be a nice sugary vagina. And let’s see, what likes sugar?

Candida!

Candida albicans is a fungus, or a yeast, that lives in everyone’s gastrointestinal tract as one of the microbes that aid in digestion.

Candida Albicans (Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons, Y tambe, 2005)

It also makes it’s way into most women’s vaginas via the anus and lives there benignly until it’s given an opportunity to feed voraciously. (Don’t wipe back to front!) When someone takes antibiotics to wipe out a bacterial infection, it also wipes out all of the good bacteria (lactobacilli) too. Poor gut flora can also happen over time due to a diet rich in sugar and carbohydrates.

So without the competition of lactobacilli, candida can feed on the increased glycogen uninhibited, and it can lead to an overgrowth of candida. This overgrowth of candida is what is commonly referred to as a yeast infection. (If you want to learn more about how Candida transforms from a benign unicellular yeast to a destructive multicellular fungus, this is a great article.)

Human Placental Lactogen (hPL)

So estrogen is why menstruating women, women on birth control, and women on hormone replacement therapy are more prone to yeast infections, but human placental lactogen (hPL) is why pregnant women (who have more estrogen coursing through their veins than ever before) are even more prone to getting really serious yeast infections that are very hard to get rid of.

hPL is produced by the placenta in a greater amount than any other hormone during pregnancy. Its primary function is to prepare the breasts for lactation by stimulating breast growth and the secretion of colostrum, but it also affects the way that the mother uses food for energy. It does this by decreasing the mother’s use of amino acids (protein) and glucose (carbohydrates) so that it can instead shuttle them over to the growing fetus. It also stimulates the breakdown of maternal fats (lipolysis) which is usually done by Hormone Sensitive Lipase (HSL) when the mother is not pregnant. The mother then uses these fatty acids for energy and saves the glucose for the baby.

hPL Leads to Insulin Resistance

Insulin is what allows the cells to use glucose for energy. I like to think of insulin like a parent and glucose as a lost child. Glucose enters the body, but can’t figure out where to go. Insulin comes along, holds glucose’s hand, and leads it into the cells where it can be converted into energy via cellular respiration or stored for later use as glycogen or in fat cells. When too much glucose is in the blood stream over a long period of time, however, cells can start to become resistant to it, and so the body releases more insulin to combat the increasing blood sugar, but over time, the insulin isn’t as effective, and this is what is known as insulin resistance.

hPL makes a pregnant women rapidly become insulin resistant, and the research that I’ve seen is a little foggy on why this occurs. But by the 23rd week of pregnancy, hPL has reached its peak with a 30-fold increase. This increase in hPL can cause an increasing resistance in the mother’s tissue to insulin that can make her blood sugar start to go through the roof.

I feel like the logical explanation is that diet is at least partially to blame for this insulin resistance. If a woman isn’t fat adapted leading up to pregnancy, meaning that she’s not able to easily use fat (including stored fat) for energy, and is instead a sugar burner who can only use the fleeting resources of glucose for energy, then when hPL shuttles the incoming glucose to the baby and induces lipolysis that breaks down fat to be used for energy that she’s not able to use, she feels absolutely STARVING. And then, rather than cook some wholesome bone broth soup, or make some grass fed beef burgers, or even take the time to cook an organic baked potato loaded with butter, cheese, and sour cream, she instead reaches for a bag of chips or treats herself to a milkshake because, “Hey, I’m eating for two, for once in my life I don’t have to worry about gaining weight, and back off because…I’M STARVING!”.

And THEN, the poor hPL surging, insulin resistant, and constantly hungry mother takes her glucose screening test between 24-28 weeks, and if she finds out that her blood sugar is too high, she will have to practically eliminate all sugar so that she won’t get gestational diabetes.

Gestational Diabetes

When the mother has high blood sugar that leads to gestational diabetes, her excess sugar enters the baby’s blood stream and forces its pancreas to make extra insulin. Because the baby is getting more energy than it needs, the extra energy is stored as fat, which is known scientifically as “fat” baby or macrosomia. This can cause damage to the babies’ shoulders at birth and lead to an increased risk of c-sections.

Because of the extra insulin produced, newborns may have low blood glucose levels at birth and are at higher risk for breathing problems. (Not to mention that they’ll want to give your baby formula or sugar water at birth which could affect your breastfeeding relationship.) It also makes them more at risk for insulin resistance, obesity, and type 2 diabetes as adults. Gestational diabetes affects up to 9.2% of pregnancies

How hSL Contributes to Candida

Just as an increase in estrogen leads to the increased production of glycogen that leads to a more “sugary vagina”, the hormone hSL does the same thing by leading to insulin resistance which creates higher blood sugar, and once again, a more “sugary vagina” that gives the candida more to feed on. In a vagina that has been stripped of lactobacilli that typically feed on the increased sugar during pregnancy, the candida have no competition and can multiply unchecked until they create an overgrowth known as a yeast infection.

How to Prevent a Yeast Infection

When you get pregnant, just know that you are going to be super susceptible to getting yeast infections and take every precautionary measure that you can to prevent one from starting.

Don’t take antibiotics, and if you do, follow up with a good probiotic like Bio Kult Candea. I have tried just about every probiotic under the sun, and this brand by far made a noticeable difference.
Don’t eat too much sugar (or foods that break down easily into sugar, i.e. all refined carbohydrates). Eat a balanced diet that includes lots of healthy saturated fats.
Eat lots of lacto-fermented foods (sourdough, kombucha, sauerkraut, keifer, yogurt) to help build a colony of lactobacilli.
Avoid douching and keep your vagina clean using mild, unscented soap and water.
Wipe from front to back to avoid spreading bacteria and yeast from your anus to your vagina.
Wear good cotton underwear like these. And don’t wear pantyliners every day because of “leaking”. Just change your panties! Your vagina needs to breathe.
Avoid tight fitting pants. Instead, get comfortable in some relaxing pants like these.
Change out of a wet swimsuit right away. This just creates an optimal breeding ground for candida.

In Conclusion

In a nutshell, the real reason that we get more yeast infections while pregnant has to do with our changing hormones, namely the increase of estrogen and the presence and increase of hPL and how they both lead to a “sugary vagina” that becomes an optimal breeding ground for candida, especially when there aren’t any good lactobacilli bacteria to consume the extra sugar.

If you’re pregnant and not experiencing any signs of a yeast infection, just be careful and take preventative measures to assure that you don’t get one, but if it’s too late for prevention, and you already have a yeast infection while pregnant (or think you might), you’ll want to check out my blog: How to Get Rid of a Yeast Infection While Pregnant. Having a yeast infection while pregnant can lead to both you and your baby dealing with thrush, and that is just nasty business. Read my blog: How to Identify and Deal with Oral Thrush in Babies to learn more about this topic.

May 12, 2015/by Stacey Maaser

Everything You’ll Need for a New Baby

Babies, General, Mom Talk

This is the most comprehensive list of baby items that you’ll ever need! If you’re pregnant, thinking about being pregnant, attending someone’s baby shower and looking for a cool gift, or just browsing to get ideas, you’ll want to check out this list and share it with everyone you know! *Update: I wrote this blog seven years ago after baby #4 in 2015. In 2017 I had my last baby, and now here I am in 2022 updating this list. Some of the products I used then aren’t available now, so I’m doing my best to recommend similar items.

During the time that each of our four children have been babies, these have been the products that we have loved the most. I am listing all of these products new, but I have been able to find many if not most of these items at garage sales and thrift stores or received them as gifts. I definitely recommend having a list somewhere where you can keep track of what you want so you can keep your eye out for good deals.

Before you go too far, you might want to start a baby registry (Create an Amazon Baby Registry) or join Amazon Mom which is basically like Amazon Prime, but better (Try Amazon Family for Free), and then you can create a wish list if you’re not quite ready for a baby registry.

Sleeping

Crib – This is what I have always dreamed of getting, but we never had to buy a crib new. For our first baby, we got a really nice portable crib for a baby shower gift, but it didn’t make the move, so for babies #3 and #4 we got a thrift store crib and a Craig’s List crib for less than $30/ea. I know some people are really paranoid about cribs, but we co-sleep for quite awhile, and then we keep them in the crib in our room so we’re always really close. We also found some really good mattresses at thrift stores for about $10 each, but you can buy a great one new here. The cool thing about crib mattresses is that they’re the same size as toddler bed mattresses, so keep that in mind when you’re purchasing one (make sure it’s waterproof).
Co-Sleeper – I absolutely loved this for our first born! Ruby slept in one of these until she outgrew it at about 8 months old. It made it so easy to roll over and nurse her whenever she needed me throughout the night. Our second born didn’t really care for it; he just wanted to be held. By the time we got to babies #3 and #4, we just had a mattress on the floor, so we couldn’t have used it even if we wanted to.
Big Swing – This has come in so handy for every single baby. The first 6 months are so crazy with sleep, and I like having a place where I know my little one can always fall asleep. (I make sure this swing is set up near a bed where I can sleep too!) We have purchased two of these. The first one from someone on Craig’s List and it was perfect. The second one we got new and the motor was so loud that we weren’t able to keep it in our bedroom. I’ve linked to a similar swing with better reviews. Just make sure whatever big swing you get has an AC adapter or you will spend a fortune on batteries (not to mention the frustration of running out of batteries at 2 a.m. when you finally got your little one to sleep).
Portable Swing – This swing is an absolute must! We have used this swing more than anything else. You can easily move it from room to room and babies love to fall asleep in it.
Vibrating Bassinet – When I wrote this blog 7 years ago, my absolute favorite item for naptime was my Newborn Rock n’ Play Sleeper. During the first three months as babies are finishing the development of their digestive systems, I found the incline of this bassinet to really help with acid reflux and resulted in way fewer spit ups. The vibrating motion was on a timer, and when I would lay down little Julian freshly fed and burped and a little sleepy, he would drift right off. I liked how portable it was, and how I could move it around easily to whatever room I was in so he could be near me. I also liked how it was higher up than a portable swing so I could easily soothe him with my hand if I was sitting nearby on the couch or gently rock him with my foot. If I was a parent to a new baby again, I would probably get something like this Fisher-Price Soothing View Vibe Bassinet or if money was no option, I would look into the 4moms MamaRoo Sleep Bassinet that moves like mama does with 5 unique motions to help your baby fall asleep. The bottom line is that the first three months with your newborn, especially as a new parent, can be very scary and very stressful. Whatever you need to help your little one (and you) sleep is well worth it! Check out my blog about calming a fussy newborn for some sanity saving tips and tricks.
Mobile – I did a ton of research to find the best mobiles and this was the one we chose for our first baby, and we are still using it today with our fourth child. I currently have it on the diaper changing table because it provides a nice distraction. We also really liked this mobile.
Pack ‘n Play – When our firstborn outgrew her co-sleeper, we put her in a Pack n’ Play until she graduated to a toddler bed. It makes a great portable bed anywhere we’ve gone. We found ours at a garage sale for $10, but I love the one I’ve linked to because it has a top insert for newborns that would make a great bassinet.
Crib Sheets – Keep in mind that you will use these as your children transition to toddler beds. I just found mine at thrift stores, garage sales, and our local grocery store, but you can find some good organic ones too. You’ll also want a basic waterproof mattress pad or an organic one.
Monitors – This basic model has worked wonderfully for us for all four of our children, but if you’re looking for something more high tech, this video monitor works great.

Furniture

Changing Table – We didn’t actually get one of these until our fourth baby. We just put a changing pad on top of a dresser or changed them on the bed. (Our fourth baby is the only who hasn’t rolled off from a tall surface while being changed!) We found one like this at a garage sale for $15. You’ll also want some of these changing pad covers.
Dresser – Once again, this is something we found used, but I think it’s really important to have a nice little place to store all of your baby’s things, and you’ll appreciate having it as they get older.
Diaper Pail – I’m updating this blog seven years later, and the diaper pail that I used for cloth wipes. isn’t available anymore, but the one I linked to seems really great. Because we have two in diapers, I need a bigger pail that doesn’t get filled up every day, so I just have this garbage can with a removable lid. I don’t think you need any special Diaper Genie to hold diapers. Yes, it stinks when you open the can, so don’t put it in your kitchen or living room and you’ll be fine. (But if you need to do that for some reason, get one of these.)

Diapers

Disposable Diapers – Ok, so I tried cloth diapers for awhile, and it was going great until we had two kids, and I just didn’t have the time. (And actually, we did disposables when she was a newborn, at night, and when we traveled…) The notion is that cloth diapers are better for the environment and save you money, but with the extra electricity and water used from washing cloth diapers, it seems like the carbon footprint is pretty comparable (unless you’re washing diapers by hand that is, then you go mama!). Also, cloth diapers need to be changed immediately or they will lead to diaper rashes, that and the extra time of washing them made me decide that the money saved wasn’t as valuable as my time and piece of mind.
- Pampers Baby Dry Swaddlers are my favorite newborn diaper.
- Pampers Baby Dry Size 1 are my favorite after that. I have tried other brands and the cheapest store brand, and nothing works as good as these. If you’re trying to save money though, Luvs really aren’t too bad.
Cloth Diapers – When we used cloth diapers, I loved our Fuzzi Bunz, but I’ve also researched every other brand.
- Thirsties that you pair with prefolds seem like the best.
- Bum Genius diaper covers with cloth inserts are another top pick.
- I really like the look of these Flip hybrids with these organic inserts.
- I did try just using some really plain diaper covers over some basic prefolds (which also make great burp cloths) held together with pins with baby #3 for a bit, and this was really the most cost effective method.
Wipes – You can certainly buy disposable wipes, but I’ve found that it’s much better for our babies and our budget to use cloth wipes and make my own diaper wipe solution (or you could buy this).
Diaper Bag – Most diaper bags have little handles, but I love being able to sling mine over my shoulder when I’m carrying a hundred other things. Once again, we found ours at a thrift store, but I’ve linked to the basic idea I’m talking about.

Breastfeeding

Rocking Chair – I got a rocking chair like this at a garage sale, and it is AMAZING when I pair it with this foot stool. The way that it rocks with big swooping up and down motions is very soothing for babies, more so than a gliding rocking chair, which doesn’t really rock so much as just goes back and forth, but is still pretty dang comfortable. With my last baby, I found a rocking recliner that was complete luxury and something I wished I had for all of my babies. I especially loved how I could tip my head back and take a quick snooze while nursing.
Salt Lamp – When you’re up to nurse in the night, it is nice to have a soft glowing light that’s red to help you see what you’re doing. The red light ensures that the pupils don’t dilate and is perfect for keeping both mom and baby in a state of semi sleep.
Basket – I really love having a table set up near my nursing chair that has everything I may need while breastfeeding. I make sure to keep a full water bottle, my breast pump, burp cloths, Nosefrida, any of my baby calming supplies, fingernail clippers, reading material, lip balm, my cell phone, and anything else I might need while nursing!
Boppy – I love using a bobby to help me get my newborns correctly positioned for breastfeeding. Make sure you get a cover too so you can take it off and wash it when it gets covered with spit up.
My Breast Friend – I never did get one of these, but I recently saw one at a friend’s house. She loved it, and I thought it looked really cool.
Breast Pump – I have exclusively breast fed all of my babies, and this breast pump has helped me at every stage. It got me through the first few days when I couldn’t get my newborn to feed (and used these droppers to feed them), it provided relief when I had plugged ducts and mastitis, it helped me to make a bottle or two so we could have a date night, and it helped me provide milk for my babies when I was working full time for a bit. I had mine given to me by a friend, and just like with every other expensive baby thing, everyone says you should not use someone else’s breast pump, but I think that’s hogwash. If you’re really worried about hygiene, you can buy new parts. This little breast pump is a cheaper alternative, and this hands-free pumping bra is something I wish I would’ve had! When I was working, I used these milk storage bags to freeze my milk, but if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t freeze my milk. The living enzymes won’t survive the freezing process and the plastic will leech into the milk. Live and learn I guess.
Bottles – I have researched many types of bottles, and these seemed to be the best. We have loved them and have used them (when we needed a bottle) for every child. If I had to do it all over again, however, I would buy these glass bottles. Don’t forget a bottle brush!
Nipple Cream – This is great for sore or cracked nipples, but you can just rub a little breast milk on them and let them get some air, and it should do the trick too.
Nursing Bra – I love this bra because it is so easy to unlatch and nurse anywhere and the foam inserts hide my nipples! You might like a nighttime nursing bra to wear to bed too, but I just put a belly band over my breasts, not for the support (I have pretty small breasts), but because my nipples were so sensitive and I didn’t like wearing just a t-shirt anymore.
Nursing Tank Tops – If you think you’ll ever nurse in front of another human being that doesn’t want to see your sagging stomach skin while you lift up your shirt to nurse, you’ll want one (or two or ten) of these. They are also great for covering up your butt crack when you bend over and can double as a bra too.
*Check out my blog: 12 Breastfeeding Tips to Read Before You Give Birth for more helpful information about breastfeeding.

Baby Toiletries

Diaper Rash Cream – I have tried so many different diaper rash cream products, and nothing, and I mean nothing, even comes close to how amazing this is.
Body Wash – Babies don’t need to be washed that often, but when they do, this is the best product I’ve found for the job. This bar version works just as well.
Baby Oil – This oil is great for a million reasons. I love using it to make my own diaper wipe solution, to put on my babies’ heads to get rid of cradle cap, to put on their butts before meconium poops to make them easier to clean, and to rub into any dry areas. Extra virgin olive oil works just as well too.
Lotion – When babies get dry skin, this is great to have. But if I had to pick lotion or oil, I would pick the oil.
Weleda Starter Kit – This is a great kit to get you started to see if you’ll really like these products. (It also makes a great gift!)
Bag Balm – This is also great for a million reasons. Plus, I just like using it for lip balm, although nothing really compares to my homemade lip balm.
Aquaphor Baby Healing Ointment – This is the best and most healing lotion ever. It’s great for when you need a super duper moisturizer.
Nail Clippers – You really only need to file your baby’s nails at first, and in the beginning, they’ll usually just kind of peel off, but eventually, you’ll want to be able to cut those little daggers!
Comb and Brush – The soft brush is so gentle for your baby’s head and the comb is great for getting rid of cradle cap!
Nosefrida – Forget using a bulb syringe, this thing is the BEST! You’ll also want to get some saline mist.
Colic Calm – I found this with my fourth newborn, and it really worked great on those late nights when he was fussy and nothing else seemed to calm him down. *Check out my blog about how to calm a fussy baby here.
Teething – You won’t need these items right away, but you’ll be happy to have them on hand when the time comes. Check out my blog: How to Relieve Teething Pain.
- Amber Teething Necklace – This will help your baby to deal with the pain of teething. Check out my blog: Do Amber Teething Necklaces Really Work? (Spoiler Alert: They do!)
- Allspice Beads – Make your own allspice necklace to help your babies teeth pop through more quickly. You’ll also need some stretchy string and a thick needle. Check out my blog: How to Make an Allspice Necklace to Help with Teething for more information.
- Teething Gel – This is great for providing some immediate relief.

Clothing and Blankets

Onsies – If it’s spring or summer, you’ll be needing a lot of these! Here’s some basic ones for girls and some basic ones for boys.
Footie Pants – I hate putting socks on newborns. This is a great alternative. 🙂
Sleep Sack – This is just the best for sleepwear. Here’s one for girls too.
Swaddler – This swaddle blanket is great to put over a onsie for babies who like to be swaddled to sleep.
Sleeper – My fall and winter babies pretty much live in these. Here’s some for girls and some for boys. Trust me, you want the zippers on these things!
Socks – If the socks are too tight, they’ll leave marks on chubby little ankles, and that can’t be too comfortable!
Hand Socks – Some babies scratch their faces with their sharp little claws, and these are great, but regular socks work just as well.
Bibs – The bibs with the velcro in the back can sometimes scratch your little ones’ neck. I never thought I would rave about a bib, but these bibs are absolutely the best! They are great for clean up little spit ups and for drool.
Swaddling Blankets – Some of my babies have loved being swaddled, and some don’t. Just make sure when you swaddle, you’re giving the legs room to move around so you don’t cause hip dysplasia. I love these swaddling blankets because they’re really big, they’re breathable, and they’re soft.
Receiving Blanket – These are kind of nice to have around for a spare burp cloth, swaddler, or blanket. Here’s a nice organic version, but gosh that’s expensive!
Silky Blanket – I like going to the fabric store and picking out the best and silkiest fabric and then making my own silky blankets for my babies, but if I had to buy one, this looks pretty good, and so does this one. I carry my baby around with his silky, nurse him with him wrapped up in it, use it to stroke his face and shield his eyes as he falls asleep in my arms, and lay him down with it for naps or at night so he is always near something that smells like me and is comforting.
Special Blanket – If you don’t (gasp) like silkies, something like this would be good too.
Lovie – If you’re not comfortable leaving your baby with a bigger blanket, you can leave them with a little lovie while they nap so they’re not totally alone.
Burp Cloths – Prefold and birdseye diapers work great as burp cloths too. Just make sure you have enough to put EVERYWHERE you might sit with the baby.

Out and About

Infant Car Seat – Having a removable car seat is so convenient for when your little one falls asleep while out and about. This is good until they are 6 months old or 22 lbs and 29 in., but well worth the investment in my opinion. You’ll probably also want a mirror like this to keep tabs on your little one and some window shades.
Car Seat – After they outgrow the infant car seat, you’ll need to upgrade. I recommend something like this because it can be converted to accommodate children from 20-100 lbs.
Stroller – This stroller is great because it fits with the infant car seat. We still have our Graco stroller from our first baby and we use it all the time.
Ergo – I have tried many different different carriers and I love, love, LOVE my Ergo! It is so comfortable to wear, it DOES NOT hurt my back, and I love having my baby snuggled up close facing me. It’s best suited for babies 4 months and older, but you can use the infant insert to accommodate your little one. You’ll want to stay away from the front facing carriers (for extended use anyways) because they can lead to hip dysplasia. I know people who really like the Boba carrier too.
Moby Wrap – It’s a little tricky to figure out how to use one of these, but this video will help! I LOVE using my Moby wrap for my little newborn babies until they are 3 months or so. It’s great to be able to keep them close while you want to have two hands free to do a few things around the house.

Things That Hold Babies or Playthings

Activity Mat – This can be packed up and moved anywhere easily, and all of our babies have loved it. It’s easy to store away. You can lay a baby on it starting at any age.
Bouncy Chair – Now, this isn’t really necessary, but it sure is nice to have a fun little place for your baby to bounce and play while you fold laundry or something. This one is fun too.
Activity Center – As soon as your baby can support himself (about 3 months), he’ll love being entertained in this activity center.
Bumpo – You won’t really need this until your baby is a little older, but we have loved using this with every single baby except our fourth (I’m not really sure why, too busy moving around I guess). It’s a great way to get babies in a sitting position when they’re not quite ready to sit on their own.
Door Jumper – Babies aren’t really ready for this until 6 months or so, but it is a great way for them to jump and move around while you get dinner ready.
Jumperoo – If you don’t have a good door frame to use, or if you have more floor space, this jumperoo is a great way for babies to entertain themselves.
High Chair – Our babies haven’t really been ready for a high chair until 6-8 months, but hey, you’ll use it sooner than you think! I really like how versatile this one is. And don’t forget silverware and a sippy cup. We try to buy most of our dishware glass, like these little glass plates and bowls, but sometimes some BPA free plastic does the trick too.

Toys

Whoozit – This little toy has been a favorite of all of our children, and we love taking it with us when we travel. We have also loved this larger sized Woozit.
Floor Mirror – This is so wonderful for when babies start doing tummy time.
Manhattan Toy Winkle – All of my babies have loved this because it is easy to grab onto, hold, and chew.
Jacques the Peacock – This is a great take-a-long toy with lots to keep a little one busy.
Ziggles – This is another cute take-a-long toy that is very cute.
Sophie the Giraffe Teether – I love how easy this is for little ones to grab and it’s such a fun teething toy.
Baby’s First Blocks and Rings – These are totally classic toys that you’ve just got to have!
Bath Letters – These are probably one of the most used toys we have, and they really help with teaching letters!
Wrist Rattles – I don’t know if these are more fun for the babies or the entertainment of the parents! 🙂

Books

Peekaboo – We love cloth books like this because they can’t be destroyed! This book is very cute.
Discovery Farm – This is a great book that our children have loved reading, playing with, and chewing on.
Ten Little Lady Bugs – There is just something so amazing about this tactile book, and it teaches counting!
Dr. Suess’s ABCs – Have as many ABC books as you can around the house! This is one of our favorites! *Check out my blogs about teaching the ABCs here and see some of my homemade ABC resources here.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar – This book is such a great classic. All of our kids have loved sticking their little fingers through the holes.
Pajama Time – This is our all time favorite bedtime book!
*Check out my blog to see more of my favorite books for babies here. Also, check out my blog about engaging babies with reading here.

Best Books to Read Before You Have a Baby

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth – This is a great book to help prepare you for childbirth.
Ina May’s Guide to Breastfeeding – I never read this, but I love Ina May and it looks great!
The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep by Harvey Karp – This book has some great strategies for getting fussy babies to sleep, or check out the video. Really, this could be a life saver!
Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon – This is my food Bible! It has changed my life and helped me prepare healthy food for my family.
The Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby & Child Care – This book was recently published and it’s on my wish list.
Your Pregnancy Week by Week – I loved reading this while pregnant.
Your Baby’s First Year Week by Week – I loved reading this too!
Diary Of A Baby: What Your Child Sees, Feels, And Experiences – I just found this, and it looks incredible!
NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children – If you’re looking for a more scholarly read, this book is absolutely amazing and has some great insight about children that will blow your mind.

Postpartum

Bellefit Corset – This corset helped me to heal my diastasis recti after baby number three, and I’m currently using it now to heal after baby number four.
After Ease – After baby number three, I was completely floored by the after pains. I got some of this after baby number four, that a heating pad, and bouncing on an exercise ball really helped.
Postnatal Rescue – This is a very gradual workout that will ease you back into shape.
Comfortable (non maternity) Pants – You won’t fit into your regular pants for awhile and you’ll totally wear your maternity clothes for awhile, but it’s nice to have something comfortable that’s not maternity pants after awhile.

Things You Don’t Need

Everything on This List – You most certainly don’t need all of this stuff before the baby is born, and not all of these items are necessary. You have to pick and choose the things that are most important based on your lifestyle, your budget, your space, and your individual needs.
Everything New – I think the benefit of having a list such as this is that it enables you to keep an eye out for bargains and deals. Just knowing what you need can also help you to be better at saying no to impulse buys.
Baby Food Maker – Just use a blender, pre-chew the food, or cut it up into small enough bites.
Baby Bath – Just take the baby into the bath with you. It’s much easier, your baby will be more comforted with you nearby, and you can nurse if he or she gets fussy. You also don’t need special baby towels or wash cloths, but hey, get them if you must!
Outlet Covers – Outlets are only dangerous if a baby is sticking a metal knife into them. If you see them doing this, I think it would be better to tell them no or use some form of distraction. I also don’t think you need cabinet safety locks, toilet seat lock, or baby gates, but now that I’ve mentioned these items, you’re probably just going to get them anyways.
Bottle Rack – Unless you’re formula feeding, then you probably do.
Wipe Warmer – You might still like one, but this is something we never got and never missed.

Make a Registry

If you haven’t done so already, now might be a good time to make a baby registry. If you make one through this link, I will get a $5 referral fee, so thanks! Shop Amazon – Create an Amazon Baby Registry

Amazon Mom

If you’re a mom, grandparent, or caretaker, you try Amazon Mom for free for one month. So check out the following link below to help yourself and give me a small referral fee! Try Amazon Mom for Free

*If you’re looking for the best items to support your pregnancy, check out my blog: Best Pregnancy Items

May 6, 2015/by Stacey Maaser

How to Relieve Teething Pain

Babies, General, Mom Talk

Just when you think your baby is sleeping like a champ…teething hits! Your baby (or toddler) who was once perfect and happy is now just miserable all of the time. Of course you want to make your little one feel better, but the reality is that teething just plain old sucks and there’s not much we can do about it. Just know that it is a temporary phase in life, and while this sounds silly to say right now, just keep repeating to yourself,

This too shall pass.

The absolute best thing for teething is time. Time. Time will pass, teething will end, and eventually you will get your sweet happy child back. But in the meantime, here are a few options that might make things more bearable.

1. Nursing

Nursing and skin to skin contact has been scientifically proven to provide pain relief. Babies have a tendency to nurse more while teething (yes, all through the night too). This has always been my number one go to for pain relief when my little ones are teething. Now, when those two year molars have come in, and I’m not nursing anymore, well, that’s another story….

2. Cold or Frozen Washcloth

Whenever you tell ANYONE that your child is teething, the first thing they will tell you is to get a wet washcloth and let them chew on it. Every time I have a teething child, I am always excited to try this first and then immediately disappointed because it has never worked for me, but I do think it is a good place to start…especially for the front teeth. 🙂

3. Chamomile

I have actually never used this, but after a bit of research to update this article, I plan on trying it next time I encounter teething with a little one. Chamomile is safe for babies and has a calming effect that can help just about any fussy baby situation. You will want to brew a strong batch of tea (get some here) and then either soak the washcloth in it, add some to your baby’s bottle, or make a frozen popsicle out of it.

4. Amber Teething Necklace

I didn’t find out about amber teething necklaces until our third child, and now I swear by them! Every child is different and this may not work for everyone, but I have noticed a significant difference when using ours. The positive effect becomes most apparent when I think, “Oh, they’re sleeping fine now…time to take the necklace off,” and then BAM they are up in the night again! Amber teething necklaces are made from fossilized tree resin and exude succinic acid oil that has an analgesic effect similar to Ibuprofen. Read more about amber teething necklaces in my blog: Do Amber Teething Necklaces Really Work? Just keep in mind that it takes 24 hours for the pain relief to take effect.

Ophelia Wearing Amber and Allspice Teething Necklaces

5. Allspice Teething Necklace

I learned about allspice teething necklaces from my midwife and have had great success using them. They basically release tannins that strengthen the gums and help the teeth to break through the gums more quickly. This are particularly helpful when there’s a stubborn tooth that keeps teasing you by emerging a little bit, then going down, emerging a little bit more, creating pain and inflammation, then going back down, etc. Every time this has happened with our children and we put an allspice necklace on them, the stubborn tooth pops through within 48 hours. For more information, check out my blog: How to Make an Allspice Necklace That Will Help with Teething.

How to Make an Allspice Teething Necklace

6. Clove Bud Oil

I am kind of hesitant to put this here because it is recommended that many (if not all) essential oils be avoided on children under 2 (and I have never personally never used this on a child under 2), but when my 2 year old was recently cutting his 2 year molars and NOTHING was seeming to help, I diluted equal parts olive oil and clove bud oil and applied it to his gums. (*This would be great for storage or you can buy a pre-made mixture here.) He didn’t like it at first, but within minutes he went from crazy screaming/crying to totally calm and happy. The eugenol in clove oil is a numbing agent as well as anti-inflammatory, but if used too often, the skin becomes more tolerant.

7. Teething Toys

During the day, I try to use as little “medication” as possible and instead try to help my babies find teething relief by chewing on things. They love chewing on my fingers, their fingers, or anything else that seems to be within reach, but there are a few toys that have worked really well too.

Sophie the Giraffe – Yes, it’s plastic and we do try to stay away from it most of the time, but this is phthalate and BPA free, so that’s good, and our little ones love this toy! This is my number one recommendation.
Manhattan Toy Winkel – Don’t ask me why, but every single child we’ve had has loved chewing on and playing with this toy. We’ve had to buy several. It is BPA free.
Teething Ring – I like this basic teething ring because it’s easy for a baby to hold onto and they can chew anywhere. This one is BPA free.
Mesh Food Feeder – I personally have never used this, but I have heard so many people talk about it, that I just had to give it a mention. People like to put frozen bananas in them for babies to chew on to provide some relief. It seems like a great idea!

8. Orajel

Orajel basically works by numbing the gums. There’s a daytime version and a nighttime version that has a stronger potency. Sometimes, babies are totally bothered by the taste and the fact that it’s creating a different sensation, but once they get over the uncomfortableness of the application, they get a bit of pain relief, and sometimes that is just what they need to get back to sleep or to calm down. I try not to overuse this and only apply it when my little ones are really fussy and I can’t seem to console them any other way. If they are overtired and having trouble falling asleep or if they keep waking up because of the pain, I feel like these are both perfect times to use Orajel.

*Watch Out: The benzocaine gel can lead to a rare (but serious and sometimes fatal) condition called methemoglobinemia where the amount of oxygen in the blood stream is greatly reduced.

9. What About Ibuprofen? (i.e. Motrin)

First of all, ibuprofen is just the generic name of Motrin (also called Advil). Chemically, they are all the same things.

Ibuprofen is only recommended for babies 6 months and older. Ibuprofen works by limiting the body’s production of fatty acids called prostaglandins. This helps to reduce fevers, body aches, pain caused by prostaglandins, and inflammation. It is slightly more powerful and lasts longer than acetaminophen, and because of this, should only be taken every six to eight hours and no more than three times in a 24-hour period. It can irritate the stomach so it’s best if it’s taken with some kind of food.

You can check out this dosage chart to see the proper amount to give your child according to his or her weight. I know that some people try to avoid giving their babies any medication whatsoever and others give it at every little whimper. I used to be right in the middle and weigh out the amount of sleep we were getting, etc., but now I’m very very hesitant to give drugs for any reason and only do so on rare occasions.

*Watch Out: Ibuprofen (like any other drug) has a long list of potential side effects. Most commonly there is stomach bleeding, but there are many other possible allergic reactions as well.

10. What About Acetaminophen? (i.e. Tylenol)

Like Ibuprofen (Motrin), acetaminophen (Tylenol) reduces fever, body aches, and pain, but not inflammation. It is milder on the digestive tract, so it doesn’t need to be taken with food. In large doses, however, it can be very toxic to the liver. Doctors recommend giving children the fewest doses needed to keep them comfortable. So at most, this would be every four to six hours, and no more than five times in a 24 hour period.

You can check out this dosage chart to see how much you should give your child according to his or her weight. We were once told by a pediatrician to alternate between ibuprofen and acetaminophen for pain relief, but after learning about the dangers of both, we’re not so sure about this anymore.

*Watch Out: A recent study (Sept. 2016) came out linking asthma and attention deficit disorders in babies born to women who used acetaminophen while pregnant leading some to draw the conclusion that without the mother’s detoxification systems, this drug would be even more damaging to an infant. This information has caused us to suspend all acetaminophen usage. (Source)

11. Arnica

Arnica is a homeopathic alternative to conventional pain medications (get some arnica teething tablets here). It eases swelling, soreness, and promotes healing by reducing swelling. I have personally never tried it for teething (although we have had success using the topical gel for bruising), but if you want to avoid ibuprofen and acetaminophen, this might be a good alternative.

In Conclusion

Whenever I have a child who is bothered by teething, I feel like my entire world pauses for a bit. Sleep regresses, I slip back into survival mode, we do what we can to get through the painful moments, and the days seems to stretch on into eternity. But then, as suddenly as it begins, the gradual release of pain gives me my child back and teething becomes but a vague memory.

As I update this article and prepare for baby #5, I am not looking forward to the phases of teething, but I know that I will reflect on this list and use my best judgement to provide my little guy with the relief that he (and I) may desperately need to get through some of the toughest moments. Having options, being informed, and having a plan can do wonders for the anxiety we feel as parents dealing with children who are in pain, so do your research, find what works for you, and always remember that “this too shall pass”.

*You might enjoy some of my other blogs about teething.

Do Amber Teething Necklaces Really Work? Spoiler alert…they really do!
How to Make an Allspice Necklace to Help with Teething (It will help stubborn teeth to pop through the gums more quickly.)
How to Calm a Fussy Baby This isn’t about teething per say, but some of these same tips might apply to a fussy teething baby.

April 19, 2015/by Stacey Maaser

Do Amber Teething Necklaces Really Work?

Babies, General, Mom Talk

There is a lot of uncertainty about amber teething necklaces. Some people swear by them, and some people think they’re a placebo. I have personally had a tremendous amount of success with using amber teething necklaces to relieve teething pain, and I wanted to share a bit about how they have worked for us and why.

Amber Teething Necklace

How Amber Teething Necklaces Have Worked for Us

I didn’t even hear about amber teething necklaces until our third child, Ophelia. She seemed to be bothered by teething way more than our first two had, and so I was frantically searching for anything that might work when I stumbled across amber teething necklaces on Amazon. Ophelia didn’t start teething until she was ten months old, but then all of her teeth came in at once, so of course she was in pain, and the pain bothered her and kept her up in the night…a lot.

Ophelia Wearing Her Amber Teething Necklace

After wearing the amber teething necklace for about 24 hours, we noticed a marked difference. Instead of getting up in the night every hour, she was only up a couple of times and easily soothed back to sleep. Months later, we started wondering if her better sleep habits and general happiness were a mere coincidence or they were really tied to the necklace, so we took it off to test things out. Big mistake! That night was one of the worst! After we put the necklace back on for another 24 hours, it was smooth sailing once again.

When we noticed that no more teeth were coming in, we took her necklace off (and have since lost it), so when she started showing signs of getting her two year molars in, I bought another necklace. This time, I didn’t get an Art of the Cure necklace, but some cheap knock off, and it hasn’t seemed to make a bit of difference.

Our youngest son, Julian, started getting his first teeth in when he was only four months old. His first tooth didn’t seem to bother him a bit as it broke through, but the second one was just creating this big bulbous ulcer and nothing seemed to work until I put on an allspice necklace that helped his tooth to pop through within 48 hours. He hasn’t seemed to be too bothered by the whole teething thing, but he still gets up quite a bit in the night. After wearing his amber teething necklace for 24 hours, he seems to be in a much better mood and his sleeping is more soundly.

How Do Amber Teething Necklaces Work?

Amber teething necklaces are made from fossilized tree resin. The baltic amber is mined near the Baltic sea and contains a substance called succinic acid. This succinic acid is actually an oil that is released from the amber when exposed to heat, such as body heat. Succinic acid works like Ibprofen since it blocks pain and reduces inflammation. It also has other healing benefits such as strengthening the immune system by working as an antioxidant and restoring energy.

“The human body naturally produces succinic acid. The salt of succinic acid (succinate) is one of the most active substances in the processes of cellular respiration and intercellular energy creation. Succinic acid restores oxygen and energy supply to depleted cells and helps the body return to a normal, functioning state,” from Hazelaid.

Is it Real Amber?

The odds of finding fake amber beads made of plastic in teething necklaces are pretty slim. Most fake amber products are going to be priced in the three figure range and be used for things like bugs trapped in amber. If you look at the beads, they shouldn’t all be perfectly smooth and the exact same size and shape. Real amber beads will have air bubbles, be clear enough to let light pass through, and have imperfections within the beads. They will also have a slightly tacky feel versus being slick like glass or plastic. The necklace will feel lighter in your hands than you would expect it to.

Does it Need to be Worn Around the Neck?

The amber beads work best when they are close to the source of pain, and that is why it is recommended that they be worn around the neck. This is why people with arthritis or carpel tunnel syndrome will sometimes wrap these beads around their wrists for relief.

But is it a choking hazard? I’ll admit, the thought of my child wearing a beaded necklace scared me initially, but after watching my little ones wear them, I’m not worried at all. The necklace should be loose enough around the neck, and yes, it may get lost in a few neck rolls, but I haven’t seen anything that made me feel like it was a choking hazard.

Julian Wearing an Amber Teething Necklace

If you’re really worried however, look for a necklace that has a pop off clasp that can detach if it gets tugged on. I personally like the twist on clasp, however. The beads on most necklaces are individually knotted, so if it were to break somehow, you’re not going to end up with loose beads all over the place. Also, don’t worry about your child chewing on the beads. First of all, it’s not designed to be used that way (so don’t encourage it), and second of all, it’s not long enough.

Those who are still uncomfortable with the idea of the necklace being around the neck can wrap the necklace around the wrist or ankle and put a sock over it, although I cannot personally attest to how effective this would be.

Should I Take It Off?

People also wonder if they should let their little ones wear the necklace all the time or take it off for baths, etc. Well, first of all, the necklace needs to be worn for a full 24 hours to achieve the full benefit, so taking it off and on isn’t a good idea. Second, it’s totally waterproof and does just fine in the bath, so it really doesn’t need to come off for any reason.

Sometimes, Julian’s necklace would get stuck in the fat rolls on his neck and leave little red marks. I would always try to pull it away from his skin so that it didn’t sit in any one spot for too long, and I made sure that his neck was always wiped down and clean after he spit up.

In Conclusion

When your little one is in pain, and you don’t want to resort to giving them pain medication every day for the next two years as teething occurs, amber teething necklaces are a wonderful way to do what you can to keep your little one pain free. I have personally seen the success of using them, but even if there was only a slim to none chance that it worked, I still feel like saying, “Hey, what have you got to lose?” Either they work and your baby is able to finally get some relief, or they don’t and now your baby just looks cute in his or her necklace.

I have tried a few different brands of teething necklaces and I feel the the Art of the Cure Amber Teething Necklaces are the most effective. If you click on the link, it’s for the lighter colored amber. Here’s a link for one that’s a little darker. For $18.99, I feel like it’s well worth the price. I’ve purchased a cheaper one that was more on the decorative side, and it wasn’t as effective. Good luck!

Amber Teething Necklace from Art of the Cure

*You might enjoy some of my other blogs about teething.

How to Make an Allspice Necklace That Will Help with Teething (It will help stubborn teeth to pop through the gums more quickly.)
How to Relieve Teething Pain (There are lots of tips and tricks that definitely work!)

April 19, 2015/by Stacey Maaser

How to Make an Allspice Teething Necklace

Babies, General, Mom Talk

When I see my little ones go through teething pain, it just breaks my heart, and I want to help them in any way possible. By making this allspice teething necklace which releases tannins into the body that strengthen the gums, it helps the teeth to break through more quickly and thus shortens the time they are in pain. I didn’t learn about this allspice teething necklace until my third child, and I only wish I had known about it sooner! It is simply amazing!

Teething Doesn’t Bother Everyone

Some children seem to be really bothered by teething and some don’t. With my four children, the two girls have had the toughest time ever with teething, my older son seemed to not be bothered at all, and my youngest son was fine when his first tooth popped out, but now this second one is being a real bugger!

When the Allspice Necklace Helps the Most

The thing that’s really frustrating about teething is when you see the gum start to bulge like a big bulbous ulcer about to burst, and then you wait and you wait and you wait…and you wait some more, but nothing happens. You look into your baby’s mouth with baited breath every time you change his diaper, hoping to find a little white ridge poking through the gum, but alas, there is nothing there. Then, one day, it looks like something is starting to peek through, but then when you go to show your spouse, it’s gone…the phantom tooth! THIS type of scenario is the perfect time to use an allspice necklace.

It Really Works!

It takes a bit of time and a little bit of work to make one of these necklaces, so I’m always a bit reluctant, but then when I finally do it, I think, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

Ophelia didn’t start getting her teeth until she was ten months old, but then they came all at once. One after another, and it was excruciating for her (and for us). Her amber teething necklace really helped with the pain, but she had a couple of stubborn teeth that would just not pop through. So I made her the necklace and within 24 hours, a tooth popped up, and she actually slept peacefully that night.

Now, our youngest son Julian, who at 4 months old, is already teething! His first tooth popped through without any of us hardly noticing, but this second one is being really shy for some reason. He’s been up every hour in the night, constantly fussy and crying, and that darn tooth just won’t pop through. So, I pulled out my allspice beads and got to work making an allspice teething necklace. Just like with Ophelia, within 48 hours, the tooth popped through and peace fell over the household once again.

Julian’s Tooth Popped Through

How Does the Allspice Help with Teething?

My midwife was the one who first introduced me to the concept of an allspice necklace being used to help with teething. She said that the allspice released tannins that helped to stiffen the gums which makes it easier for the tooth to come out. Since then, I haven’t been able to find a whole lot of “science” to prove this point. I just know that it has worked for me and countless others.

How to Make an Allspice Teething Necklace

Making your own necklace is kind of a pain, but since they only last for about 6 months and if you’re like me with a bunch of young kids and making these often, then it would be a good investment. Otherwise, if you just go to Etsy and do a search, you can find some already made. Easy Peasy.

Materials Needed

Whole Allspice (I like to buy mine here. You can get the organic kind here or a small quantity here.)
Stretchy Thread (I like this.)
Big Needle (I like this one.)
Thimble (Optional…get one here.)
*Magnetic Necklace Clasp (I have never used one, but if you’re worried about a choking hazard, this might be a good idea. Get one here.)
Small Pot
Paper Towel
Scissors

Directions

Boil the Allspice: Place about a cup of whole allspice beads in a small pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil, turn the heat off, and let them sit there for about ten minutes. (This softens the beads so that you can puncture them with a needle.)
Boiling Allspice for a Teething Necklace
Drain the Water: Strain them into a colander and dump onto some paper towel.
Boiled Allspice Draining in a Colander
Thread your Needle: Tie the thread off close to the needle. (You don’t need to make a double string, but you can if you want.)
Put the Allspice On: Find the little dimple in the allspice “bead”, and puncture it with your needle. Use your thimble (or any hard surface) to press the needle gently through the bead. Be careful not to split the allspice. If you do, just discard it, and grab another one. I like to use the biggest allspice beads that I can find so that it will be easier to thread and be the most effective.
Allspice Necklace for Teething
Measure: You might want to measure the thread length first, but I just eyeball when it looks close enough to my child’s neck and then hold it up to see. When it’s wrapped around the neck, you want there to be a few fingers width of extra length.
Tie it On: Tie the ends together and clip the extra string.
5 Month Old Julian with His Allspice Teething Necklace
Watch Closely: Some children may be allergic to the allspice or just have really sensitive skin. If you notice a red rash develop, I would just take it off. Also, keep watch to make sure it is comfortable and not getting stuck in neck rolls and making red marks.

Try to Fit the Allspice Teething Necklace Around the Neck Rolls

FAQs

Will the necklace choke my child? This was my first question when I heard of this! It just seemed so weird to put a necklace on such a little tyke. But with the stretchy band, I don’t really see this as a risk. If you’re worried about it, however, you just have to see it on your child, watch them carefully at first, and then make your own determination. After seeing my own children wear both this and the amber teething necklace, I am not worried about choking.
Can my child wear it on his or her wrist or ankle? If you still can’t get past the choking thing, you can wrap the necklace around your child’s ankle and put a sock over it to hold it in place. I don’t think this method is as effective, but it might still do the trick.
Can my child wear it in the bath? Yes, your child can wear the necklace all the time – day and night and in the bath. I suppose you could make some kind of little clasp to be able to take the necklace off and on, but I just tie mine on and leave it there as long as it’s needed.
How long is it effective? As long as you can still smell the allspice, it should still be effective. They will typically last for about 6 months or so. I usually put one on my child as the teeth are coming through, and then take it off after they pop. When my child needs another one, I’ll just make another one.

In Conclusion

When I look at my little ones teething and then I try to imagine what I would be like if I had a mouth full of sores all the time, I think of two things. 1) You bet your buttons I would be cranky too! 2) This must be why children don’t have vivid memories of these years (thankfully). As a mom seeing her children go through something painful and just plain awful, I want to do whatever I can do mitigate the pain. This allspice necklace may take a bit of effort, but on the slim chance that it might just work, it’s well worth it in my book! *If you don’t feel like making one, you can probably find one on Etsy. 🙂

*You might enjoy some of my other blogs about teething.

Do Amber Teething Necklaces Really Work? Spoiler alert…they really do!
How to Relieve Teething Pain (There are lots of tips and tricks that definitely work!)

April 17, 2015/by Stacey Maaser

How to Identify and Deal with Lip Tie and Tongue Tie

Breastfeeding, General, Mom Talk

After having problems establishing a breastfeeding relationship with our first three children, I discovered what a lip tie was. After having our fourth child, I finally learned what a tongue tie was. Had I known about these two conditions from the very beginning, it would have made things a heck of a lot easier! This is the information I have gathered doing extensive research, talking to experts, and through my own experience. This is the information I wish I would have had with my first child from day one and what I would like to tell anyone else who is going through the same thing.

Let’s Talk About Frenula

Frenula is the plural form of frenulum. A frenulum (also called frenum when in relation to the upper lip) is a small fold of tissue that secures a mobile organ in the body. The maxillary labial frenum is the membrane that attaches the gums to the upper lip and the lingual frenulum is the membrane that attaches the base of the tongue to the floor of the mouth.

When a baby is growing in utero, the tongue starts to develop at about 4 weeks. By 6 weeks, the frenulum cells attaching the tongue to the floor of the mouth begin retracting from the tip of the tongue increasing the tongue’s mobility. Disturbances during this stage cause ankyloglossia, or tongue tie. The tip of the tongue will continue to elongate after birth which is why some people believe that the tongue will “stretch” with age and growth, although that is not the case.

Look at Your Frenula

Before going any further, I suggest that you look in a mirror and lift up your upper lip. You may notice a stretchy piece of tissue hanging out up there, and you might even be able to feel it with the tip of your tongue. You may also feel nothing. Next, lift up your tongue and look for the stretchy piece of tissue lying underneath. Move your tongue around and notice the range of motion you have. Then try sticking your tongue out. Notice how far you can stick it out. Can it go down the length of your chin or up to the tip of your nose or does it barely leave the confines of your teeth? After you explore your own frenulums, examine your spouses. The two of you will probably be much more willing participants than your children, and it will give you a good insight as to what to look for since genetics will probably play a role in the type of frenulums your children have.

Are the Frenula Causing Problems?

The mere existence of frenula does not constitute a problem, it is when they are so restrictive that they prevent breastfeeding from occurring that is a problem. When the frenum of the upper lip or the frenulum of the tongue start to cause problems, they are referred to as lip ties and tongue ties. If there is a lip tie, there is probably a tongue tie also, but a tongue tie does not necessarily indicate that there will be a lip tie.

What is a Tongue Tie?

Being tongue tied is medically defined as having ankyloglossia, which is caused by having an unusually short or thick membrane under the tongue that is attached abnormally close to the tip of the tongue and causes restricted movement of the tongue. People with more severe cases of tongue tie cannot stick their tongues out very far beyond their teeth.

Baby Julian’s Tongue Tie

This can cause breastfeeding problems with babies and speech problems as they get older. As an adult, the worst of the lingering effects are typically the inability to French kiss properly and the inability to lick an ice cream cone. Here’s a great 2 minute video describing what tongue tie is, the symptoms associated with it, and what it looks like to get it removed using the scissor method.

What is a Lip Tie?

Having a lip tie occurs when the membrane under the top lip is unusually thick and attaches under the gum line. It is not as common or severe of a diagnosis as being tongue tied, although it does have its own host of problems. I’ve read that severe lip ties will usually correct themselves by the time a child reaches adulthood due to tripping and falling or any other number of accidents that can lead to the lip tie being torn, but Dr. Kotlow, a leading expert in tongue and lip ties, believes this is not the case. He explains how if a severe lip tie is not corrected, “it can lead to dental decay on the upper front teeth, gaps (diastemas) between the two front teeth, orthodontic or periodontal problems later in the child’s oral development, and poor lip mobility or function, especially during smiling and speaking.”

Baby Julian’s Lip Tie

Other resources that I’ve looked at say that once all of the permanent teeth come in, the gap may just fix itself. Here’s a great 2 minute video describing what a lip tie is, the symptoms associated with it, and what it looks like to get it removed using the scissor method.

Classifications of Tongue and Lip Ties

Although you cannot diagnose tongue and lip ties by looks alone, it’s a good place to start. One of the first things to look for to see if your baby is tongue tied is to see if your baby’s tongue makes a heart shape when he or she cries. This is a tell tale sign that it is being tethered too tightly to the floor of his or her mouth.

One of the best ways to look for a tongue tie is to lie the baby on his or her back on your knees with his or her head facing towards you and his or her feet facing towards your knees. Then, tilt the baby’s head back and stick your fingers underneath the tongue to elevate it. You can also get a pretty good look when he or she is crying. To look for a lip tie, look to see if the top lip flanges out while nursing. You can also simply lift up the top lip and look.

These pictures below have been compiled by Dr. Kotlow, one of the most renowned pediatric dentists, known for his skill at correcting tongue and lip ties. He comes highly recommend by Mommypotomus who also has a great blog about tongue ties. You’ll notice that there are many different classifications.

Symptoms of Tongue and Lip Ties

Looking at the symptoms related to tongue and lip ties is actually the best way to diagnose them. So here are a list of symptoms to look for in both mom and baby that could be the result of tongue and/or lip tie.

Symptoms to Look for with Mom
- Nipple pain and/or erosions
- Nipple looks pinched, creased, bruised, or abraded after feeds
- White stripe at the end of the nipple
- Painful breasts/vasospasm
- Low milk supply
- Plugged ducts
- Mastitis
- Recurring thrush
- Frustration, disappointment, and discouragement with breastfeeding
- Weaning before mom is ready
- Tired momma, from being up in the night every hour for feeding night after night after night

Symptoms to Look for with Baby
- Poor latch and suck
- Unusually strong suck due to baby using excess vacuum to remove milk
- Clicking sound while nursing (poor suction)
- Ineffective milk transfer
- Infrequent swallowing after initial let-down
- Inadequate weight gain or weight loss
- Irritability or colic
- Gas and reflux
- Fussiness and frequent arching away from the breast
- Fatigue within one to two minutes of beginning to nurse
- Difficulty establishing suction to maintain a deep grasp on the breast
- Breast tissue sliding in and out of baby’s mouth while feeding
- Gradual sliding off the breast
- Chewing or biting on the nipple
- Falling asleep at the breast without taking in a full feed
- Coughing, choking, gulping, or squeaking when feeding
- Spilling milk during feeds
- Jaw quivering after or between feeds

Symptoms I Had: With our fourth baby, Julian, I was not getting very much sleep because he was up every hour or two (or sometimes every 30-45 minutes) to nurse. And when I would nurse him, I wasn’t able to just lay down and nurse, I had to either sit up on the edge of the bed or in the rocking chair to help him latch on. My nipples weren’t really sore (after four babies, they got pretty tough), but he was rolling the nipple around in his mouth and falling off the nipple repeatedly. When he would nurse, there was a noticeable clicking sound from his inability to form a secure latch. He especially had trouble maintaining a latch during my letdown and he would sputter, choke, and pop off the breast. He would also fall asleep mid feed and as a result he didn’t fully drain the breast. This led to me getting plugged milk ducts (which I massaged away after applying a hot compress and drained completely using a breast pump), and I believe that this is what led him to have a lot of green poops (from not getting enough hindmilk). He was also taking in a lot of air during feedings which resulted in him being gassy, needing to burp and fart a lot, and getting the hiccups. When he had gas (which was often), he would get really fussy and squirm, wiggle, and grunt…even in his sleep. He would also puke a lot, but he also would nurse a lot, so weight gain was not an issue. Finally, at his six week checkup, the midwife noticed that he was tongue tied. Once I started researching the symptoms, it all made sense.

Temporary Relief

If you are waiting for a corrective procedure or trying to decide if you will get one, the following strategies may help to provide some temporary relief.

Stretch the Lip Tie – To help with stretching out both Ophelia and Julian’s lip ties, I would put my finger under their upper lips and roll up. I tried to remember to do this before every feeding. To help them latch on, I would have to grab my breast and angle the nipple down, wait until they opened their mouth, and then torpeedo my nipple in there! Once they latched on, I would sneak my finger under their lips to flange it out. By the time they were three months old, I didn’t have any problems with their lip ties anymore.
Sitting Up and Leaning Forward to Nurse – Getting a good latch is difficult enough as it is, but when you’re dealing with a lip and/or tongue tie, it’s even more challenging! This seems to help.
Burp Often – Because they are taking in a lot of air, it can help to burp during a feeding by either patting their backs or putting them up on your shoulder. I would also try to angle their bodies to make them more upright while nursing. Also, keep burping periodically even long after the feeding.
Hold to Sleep – Now, I’m a really light sleeper, so this works well for me, but it can be dangerous, so use this strategy with caution! What I do is prop a big tower of pillows in a U-Shape around me for support. Then I sleep with pillows propped under my arm and my head leaning against a pillow. When we sleep, I hold his upper body upright and about every 3o minutes or so when he gets fussy, I would pat his back, bounce, and rock him until he calmed down. We are six weeks after the procedure and Julian is 3 months old, and I still actually hold him while I sleep every night. I think I’m just used to it now!
Belly Band Over the Boobs – You know that thing that you put over your pants when you’re pregnant so that you can leave your pants unbuttoned as your belly grows? Well, I pull that over my breasts because my nipples are just so dang sensitive. It’s a much more comfortable alternative to wearing a bra at night and makes it easier to nurse too.
Air Time – Putting breast milk on my nipples and just walking around without a shirt on felt good. (I just had to remember to close my curtains!)

Options Moving Forward

You have several different options depending on your specific situation. You will want to consider the following: the problems you’re having breastfeeding (If it’s not causing any noticeable problems, I would recommend leaving it alone.) the availability of a skilled practitioner in your area or your capability of traveling, your financial situation and insurance coverage, the age of your child (over 6 months is almost too late), and so on. Here is a list of the next possible steps.

Wait and See – If your symptoms are not that bad or if you feel like they may be caused by something else (a poor latch, strong let down, flat nipples, etc.) you might want to take a wait and see approach. Dr. Kotlow however. strongly advises against this for a lip tie because he does not feel that it will get better with time. But with Ophelia and Julian’s lip ties, I saw that they did, although they were not extremely severe. It was really hard to get a good picture, but you can kind of see Julian’s below. It attaches below the gum line and was kind of tight at first, but seemed to stretch out over time. (Sorry about your nose buddy.)
Best Time to Act – Keep in mind that the younger the child, the easier it is to deal with this procedure. Once you go through with the procedure, not only will your child have to physically heal, but he or she will have to learn how reuse his or her tongue based on the release and the new muscle use related to the increased mobility. The best time to get a procedure done is before the child is 3 months old, and really, the younger, the better. Usually, when the child is over 6 months old, the doctor won’t do the procedure in the office, and it will have to be done in the hospital with anesthesia.
Pediatrician’s Opinion – We did not need a referral to get an appointment with a specialist, but you might, and this would be a good place to start to learn about your options. Just keep in mind that some pediatricians are not familiar with tongue or lip ties or worse yet, might not believe in them and make you feel silly for even asking. We took our fourth baby, Julian, to see his pediatrician because we had no idea where to even start. She said, “Yup, that’s a tongue tie!” and suggested that we see an ENT for a frenectomy (also known as a frenulectomy, frenulotomy or frenotomy – which is the removal of a frenulum). When he cries, you can see the heart shape of the tongue and how it is tethered to the floor of his mouth.
ENT – That’s an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist in case you didn’t know (I didn’t). Some people feel like this is the best place to go for getting a tongue or lip tie procedure. For us, we needed something close that was in our network, and this was the only option. We had to pay $45 for the office visit and we were quoted that the procedure would be $450, but six weeks later, we have yet to get a bill. (Maybe insurance is covering it after all?)
Pediatric Dentist – Some people feel like this is the preferred specialist for this procedure. I think that it all depends on what is most convenient for you. If you can travel and money isn’t an option, then you might have the freedom to research all specialists nationwide and find the best of the best.
Scissor Method – This is the most common way of doing the procedure, and what we did with Julian. Depending on the severity of the tongue tie, a topical and/or local anesthetic may be used, the membrane may be clamped to stomp blood flow, a nurse (and you if you can handle it) will hold the baby down, the nurse will prop up the tongue with q-tips or some other tool, then the doctor will go in with one or two snips, and then he or she will then cauterize it with silver nitrate if there is a lot of bleeding. When Julian had his cut, I was really shocked by the amount of blood, but the doctor assured me it was normal. He breastfed right after the procedure and the bleeding stopped after a few minutes. (His next poop was pretty black from all of the blood he swallowed.) There is a concern with this method that the doctor won’t cut enough (I’m sure it’s scary going into a little baby’s mouth like that with a pair of scissors, especially if they are screaming!) and there won’t be a full release, but we did not have this problem.
Laser Method – Some say that the laser method is superior because it can penetrate through more of the tissue for a more complete release and immediately cauterizes the wound, but it is not easy to find someone who will do this. (It takes a steady hand and a lot of skill.) Here’s a list of nationwide providers that will do the laser method.
Questions to Ask – If you have several options within your area, it might be a good idea to ask some of the following questions to narrow your search such as: 1) How often have you done this procedure? 2) How often do your patients come back for a revision? 3) What is the procedure like? 4) What are your thoughts on the scissor method versus the laser method? 5) What do you recommend for aftercare?

After Care

After the procedure, some say that doing exercises to help the muscles learn what they are supposed to do and to make sure the tongue tie doesn’t reattach and scar tissue doesn’t form is absolutely crucial. I personally felt that my son would strengthen his muscles by nursing and that the wound would be given sufficient time being stretched every time he cried. (I mean, I wish I could soothe him perfectly so that he never cried, but that has yet to happen.) To be honest, I felt like he had been through enough and I could tell he was in pain when I tried to do the exercises, and I just couldn’t bear to put him through any more. I can see how the lip tie would reattach if the lip continued to not to flange out while nursing, but I can’t imagine that the newly detached lip wouldn’t flange out. At any rate, you may want to rub a finger over the wound periodically to ensure that it doesn’t reattach.

Typically, babies feel discomfort for the first 24 hours after the procedure. Older babies and toddlers will typically feel discomfort for the first 48 hours. Breastfeeding and skin to skin are the best first lines of defense. Arnica is a good natural method for pain relief, or there’s acetaminophen (dosage should be given based on the child’s weight not age). Ibuprofen should not be given to children under the age of 2 months and topical numbing ointments containing benzocaine (Orajel/Anbesol) should not be given due to health risks.

After Julian’s procedure, he was in a considerable amount of pain for the first 48 hours. I ended up giving him some acetaminophen every couple of hours for the first two days and then periodically after that as needed. The wound was white for about the first 10 days and then it looked pink again. They say that with a successful tongue tie revision, you should be able to see a diamond shape. It was really hard to look under Julian’s tongue to see if this was the case but I could tell things were better based on our nursing relationship.

The Ideal Diamond Shape After a Tongue Tie Release (Photo credit: Ghahri, 2014)

We are now 6 weeks past our frenectomy date and I feel like I am finally noticing a difference. To be quite honest, he improved ever so gradually, that it was hard to notice on a daily basis, but when I reflect back to the way things were 6 weeks ago, it’s really a night and day difference. The clicking went on for some time until it finally faded away. He still pops off the breast during my let down from time to time, but that could just be due to my really powerful letdown. He is sleeping better and best of all, I am able to nurse laying down! He still wakes up to feed every 2-3 hours, but that is WAY better than every 45 minutes! At first, I really questioned whether or not getting the procedure was worth it (holding him down screaming, the needle under his tongue for the local, and the blood spurting as the doctor cut all we’re absolutely brutal), but now I am definitely glad we did it. I think that maybe we would’ve had a better experience had we found a pediatric dentist who could do the laser procedure, but that just was not an option for us.

Body Work

Some people recommend chiropractic or CrainoSacral Therapy both before and after the procedure to help release the muscles needed to nurse. CranioSacral Therapy (CST) is a gentle, hands-on approach that releases tensions deep in the body to relieve pain and dysfunction and improve whole-body health and performance. In her article, CranioSacral Therapy: When Can It Help, by Dee Kassing, BS, MLS, IBCLC, she states that,

“If there is misalignment and imbalance of the skull bones, this can affect the function of the palate, tongue, and other structures of the head. This can cause the palate to be too high or uneven, or the facial muscles to be too tight. Imbalance of the structures of the head, as well as trauma from the birth process itself, can cause constant irritation to the nervous system. This constant irritation may also cause hypersensitivity, which can sometimes be the underlying cause for babies who gag and cannot accept anything in the center or back of the mouth.”

We took Julian to get some CST before his tongue tie release when he was about 5 weeks old, and while it didn’t make breastfeeding better per sae, it changed him in both subtle and powerful ways. He always seemed to be just a little bit fussy, and afterwards he was SO CALM. I would definitely recommended CST for every infant after birth (But that’s another post!). I kept meaning to take him for some post CST, but the timing just never worked out. It is definitely something I would recommend to anyone getting a frenectomy. To find someone who does CST, you can call chiropractic offices that specialize in infants and see if they recommend anyone.

Happy Julian

Julian William Maaser

Born: 11-15-14 (Saturday)

Time: 12:40 a.m.

Measurements: 7 lbs 8 oz, 21 inches long, 13.5 cm head circumference

Julian William Maaser

Pregnancy

I always love being pregnant…especially in the beginning. Just knowing that a new life is growing inside of me is so magical and wonderful, and I love thinking about the new little person who will change our lives forever. But this pregnancy seemed to bring on a few more stressful situations than the others. With this being my 4^th pregnancy in 5 years and being 35 years old, I all of a sudden was in a higher risk factor bracket. Plus, welcoming a new little peanut into an already full household and busy schedule made me want to plan everything out perfectly in order to avoid feeling overwhelmed or depressed after the birth.

Family Photo at My Midwife Appointment

The beginning of the pregnancy went so smoothly that I kept forgetting that I was pregnant. Things would settle into a really nice rhythm and I kept feeling like saying, “I’m ready to get pregnant again…oh wait, I already am!” It made me so happy to know that for the first time since having children, we wouldn’t have to move again. We were so excited to welcome a new baby into our new home, and we spent my entire pregnancy doing one project after another getting everything just so.

We found a wonderful midwife near the Amish community where we get our milk and when she noticed that I was measuring 4 cm ahead of my weeks, I started to wonder if it could be twins. So we scheduled an ultrasound and it’s so funny how when you just start thinking about something that could be, it all of a sudden starts to become a reality in your mind, especially if it’s something that you’re afraid of. I cracked a double yolk that morning and then found two baby mattresses at the thrift store…of course all signs that I was certainly carrying twins.

Scott didn’t think he’d be able to make it, so Andrea rode with me to the ultrasound, and we chatted the whole way there about what it would be like to have twins. Scott met us there after all, and when we found out that it was only one baby, we were kind of sad. But then the relief sank in about only needing to nurse one baby, be up in the night with one baby, soothe one baby, and all of a sudden one baby seemed easy in comparison! With the last two pregnancies, we didn’t have any ultrasounds and never found out the gender, but with the answer being right there in front of us with this baby, we couldn’t refuse. We wanted a boy soooooooo bad that we were afraid to find out, and when she said it was a boy, we just about cried we were so happy! Elliot would have a little brother and our “girl, boy, girl, boy” pattern would be complete.

Julian’s Ultrasound

Unfortunately, the ultrasound also revealed that I had a low lying placenta, so we knew that although unlikely, placenta previa which would mean an automatic c-section was a possibility. We didn’t worry about it too much though until I had some bright red bleeding at about 34 weeks. At that point, we scheduled another ultrasound and we were sadly informed that the placenta was touching the cervix. As we started discussing the ramifications of this, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to have the homebirth that I had wanted so badly and that it could very well mean that I would need a c-section and somehow have to recover from major abdominal surgery while also taking care of 4 little ones…two of which who need to be put to bed upstairs…

But then, a miracle happened and as my bladder filled, the ultrasound technician realized that the placenta was actually quite far from the cervix. Phew! There were a few other concerns with my placenta such as significant calcification, a heterogeneous presentation with many “lakes”, and the lingering concern over the blood that we couldn’t seem to explain.

So we scheduled a meeting with an obstetrician and he was able to explain in clarifying detail what he saw in another ultrasound that he performed in his office. He said that there were also “lakes” or pools of blood in my uterus (from having so many babies so quickly) and that that would explain why the technician thought that the placenta was touching the cervix. He also did a cervical exam and determined that a blood vessel in the cervix was likely ruptured, which explained the blood loss. We had been most concerned about placental abruption, which could mean hemorrhaging and death during delivery, so we were very glad to clear that up.

We were so happy that we would still be able to plan a home birth and we continued preparing for our sweet little boy to enter our lives. At 35 weeks, I started to really notice my Braxton hicks contractions, and I became concerned that I wouldn’t be able to meet my due date. I started researching “babies born at 35 weeks” and we talked about how if he came early, we would just have to go to the hospital and do the best we could.

Elliot Helping the Midwife at My Checkup

When I was 37 weeks, I was so glad that I had made it technically to “full term” and as I noticed the Braxton hicks increasing, I continued to try to take it easy. I knew that every day in the womb was worth three outside, and I wanted our little boy to be able to grow as much as possible before he was born. Besides, we had WAY too much to do before he came and we needed the time to finish all of our projects!

Every day I kept thinking that he would be coming any time and Scott kept reminding me that I say that with every pregnancy. 🙂 So, I reread my birth stories, and sure enough, I have said that with every pregnancy! I guess I just kind of start to panic a little bit in the end. I know that I want to be able to take the time to recover after the birth and so I want to know that everything I could possibly think of is done so I can rest assured. That in addition to the fact that it takes me awhile to mentally psyche myself up to go through the labors of labor. A part of me just wants to get it started so I can get through it and get the last uncomfortable stages of pregnancy over with, and another part of me feels like I’ll never be ready! Ophelia had been trying to cut her bottom eye teeth for months and she kept waking up in the night, so I didn’t even want to think about the baby being born before her teeth came in.

When we were at the midwife appointment two weeks before my due date and she started making plans for our next appointment ON my due date, I only half-heartedly made it thinking that there was NO WAY I would last that long. But sure enough, my due date came and went and still no baby. Every morning I excitedly thought, “This could be the day!” And then when night time came around I became worried and thought, “I’m not ready yet! We’re too sick, too tired, there’s too much to do!”

Reading to Ophelia and Elliot

But then four days after my due date (and one day before my original due date – based on the date of my last period rather than the ultrasound’s diagnosis), things began to happen.

Early Labor: Out and About

It was a Thursday night in the middle of November, and winter was coming much too fast. We knew that it was our last evening of mild weather, so Scott and I moved all of our yard furniture, toys, etc. closer to the house in preparation for the early nights and blowing snow. I had really been trying to take it easy because every time I walked too much or exerted a lot of energy, I noticed that my Braxton Hicks contractions would increase. But I just really wanted to get this last project done, so we pushed through it. “I’m probably going to put myself into labor now!” I told Scott. And sure enough…

For the past few nights, I would feel contractions intensify in the evening after putting the kids to bed, but then they would die down as I slept. So after all of our moving on Thursday night, I wasn’t surprised to feel them again. I slept peacefully that night until about midnight and then they started to become too painful to sleep through. So I got up to make sure everything would be ready if I DID go into labor. Ruby still needed her lunch prepared for the next day, I needed more sourdough muffins, another batch of kombucha, the mirrors were streaked, there were dirty dishes, and of course I needed to get some coffee ready for the next day.

After awhile, Scott came into the kitchen groggy and excited, “Is it happening?” he wondered. “Maybe, maybe not” I said unsure. While he was there, I got on my hands and knees and he really rubbed on my lower back and the back pain that I had been feeling for weeks finally melted away. I think that our little boy was in a somewhat of a posterior position and we must have helped him to turn and descend into a more optimal position. I shooed Scott off to bed and stayed up for a few more hours getting everything ready. Finally, at 5 a.m., I went to bed and the contractions died down while I slept.

I was up at 7 a.m. to help Ruby off to school and once her and Scott left, I called my mom to tell her that even though I wasn’t feeling contractions at the moment, I had felt them pretty intensely in the night and that things would probably be starting again soon. She had already planned on trying to work from home that day and so she said she would be there at about noon to help out just in case.

The evening before, Scott started feeling really sick, and I knew that he would need his strength to take care of me and our family during my labor, so I strongly encouraged him to take the day off and rest. He came home from work, reluctant to take the day off when he wanted to save up as many days as he could for after the baby was born, took a bunch of herbal “get well” pills and slept all morning long.

I sent a Facebook message at 10:00 a.m. to my midwives to let them know that things were starting to happen. With Ophelia’s birth, I had started feeling contractions for her in the morning, things got intense by noon, and I told my midwives that she would probably be born at 7 p.m.…she was born at 7:20. But this time around, there wasn’t any time that I felt comfortable making a prediction about when the baby would come. About 6 weeks prior, however, I had written on the calendar that I thought he would be born at 10:59 p.m. on November 15^th. With that prediction, I was less than 2 hours off.

So anyways, while Scott slept, I took Ophelia and Elliot to the thrift store to get Scott a really cool coat that I had seen earlier. I was starting to have contractions that were definitely more than Braxton’s, but not enough to stop me from moving around. It was half off toys day and Elliot loaded up on his favorite toys of all…little figurines of superheroes, fighters, and the like, and Ophelia got a cool little ferris wheel/merry-go-round toy. I got Scott a really cool winter coat and one for myself as well, plus an amazing white chair that would be great for our dining room.

I was about to drive 40 minutes to get our milk on my own, but I was relieved when I called my mom and discovered that she would be there soon. I really wanted to be able to get milk and go to Meijers before labor kicked into full gear, so I was really driving fast, passing everyone and speeding quickly to get it all done. Elliot and Ophelia enjoyed getting out of the car with us and playing in the barn as I filled up our 8 gallons of milk. My mom helped me to carry them to the car and we just laughed about doing all of this work during early labor! It was so fun to have my mom there with me and I really enjoyed chatting with her on the drive. We both agreed that staying busy during early labor was so good because it doesn’t make you feel like a watched pot and get too nervous about what’s to come.

Getting Milk at the Amish Farm During Early Labor

When we got home, Scott was feeling well rested and much better, and we decided to pick up Ruby early from school (2:00 p.m.) and try to head to Meijers. Ruby felt so special to have us both there to pick her up and she said that if the baby was born in the car, he could have her coat to stay warm.

After we dropped Ruby off with my mom and got about one third of the way to Meijers, contractions were picking up and becoming too intense for me to feel comfortable being out and about. So we turned around and went to Vics, the local grocery store, instead. While we were picking out cheese and sour cream, my midwife Laurie called us to see how things were going. The store was really busy and it was fun trying to talk quietly about my mucus, cervical dilation, and pain level. Contractions were about 5 minutes apart, lasting for about 35 seconds, and intense enough to make me pause, but not too strong to talk through.

Pre Labor: At Home

I told my midwives that when I got home and started to relax, things would probably start to move quickly. I don’t know, I just kind of assumed that with the fourth baby in five years, things would just progress rapidly, but they never really did. The entire labor was just slow, easy, manageable, and calm…just like our little boy would be.

So Scott unloaded and put away the groceries, my mom had just pulled out a fresh batch of my sourdough muffins from the oven, and the kids were all playing quietly throughout the house. I started putzing around slowly folding laundry, checking on the kids, tidying up the house, and walking around. During contractions, I would just sway back and forth, but they still weren’t getting very intense. In the picture below, I was leaning against a chair to get through a contraction when Elliot climbed on my back to “help” me, and if you look at my face, he actually did!

Elliot Helping Me During a Contraction

After giving everyone a bath, we all got the kids dressed in their snowpants and headed outside for a fire in the early November snow. My mom kept saying that she was going to lay down for a nap, but there kept being one thing after another that kept her on her toes. I even put on some slippers, coat, hat, scarf, and mittens, and rolled my ball out by the fire.

Hanging Outside During Early Labor

Scott unpacked my birth kit and made our bed with the plastic and extra sheet and we got ready for things to progress. I started hanging out in our bedroom a lot. Scott drew a nice warm bath with music and soft lights, and I enjoyed relaxing in the tub for awhile. I kept trying to check myself, but for some reason, it was really hard to tell what was going on. After the bath, I told the midwives that I couldn’t be dilated more than 4 cm. There was also some more blood that came out, but I think it was from the placenta, not the mucous plug. I’m not really sure that I ever lost my mucous plug during early labor, maybe I lost it awhile ago???

The first midwife assistant, Julie, arrived and hung out with us by the fire. We turned on the back porch lights since it was completely dark, and the kids enjoyed playing on the slide and eating snow. It was such a fun distraction to keep busy during early labor. When I bounced on the ball during contractions, I could hardly feel them.

I was getting so excited about the impending action, but also a little anxious wondering when things were going to get going. Julie reminded me to keep eating and drinking water and I suddenly remembered I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, so Scott brought me a plate of chicken and mashed potatoes. That food gave me instant energy, and I could feel my contractions intensify almost immediately!

When we came inside at 7:00 p.m., I realized that things probably wouldn’t be happening until after the kids went to bed, so we moved all of the birth supplies to the new birth location…the living room. I set up a bunch of candles over the fireplace and Scott got my Enya/Joshua Radin mix going on the tv. We got the kids in their pajamas, and I enjoyed watching them do their nightly wrestling in our bedroom.

After that, Scott brought my ball upstairs and we were able to pretty much go through with our normal bedtime routine. Scott cuddled up with Ruby and Elliot and read them three books. I read Ophelia a few of her favorite books and when I felt a contraction, I would sit and bounce on my ball. When Scott brings Elliot to his room to read him three more stories in bed, I usually read Ruby three more stories in bed while Ophelia reads to herself, but on this night, my mom read Ruby a whole bunch of poems from A Light in the Attic and I was able to take Ophelia downstairs to put her to bed.

After I kicked my big ball down the stairs, I was a little worried about managing my pain during contractions while I read Ophelia stories. But I just kicked the ball into our room and things seemed to stall out just long enough to have her sit on my lap in the rocking chair, give her some milk, and read her three stories before putting her to bed (a crib in our closet since she’s still waking up in the night and needs to be soothed back to sleep).

My Mom Reading to Ophelia Earlier in the Night

Active Labor

While we were putting the kids to bed, the other two midwives Laurie and Jillian arrived and got all of their things set up. After that, they checked the baby’s heart rate and took my blood pressure. I felt so bad that I had encouraged them to come out so much earlier and now here they were getting here so much later and still nothing was really happening. After I apologized, they said, “Don’t worry! We’d rather be here early than get here just as you’re pushing him out.” My mom was so sweet and showed them where the food was, the extra beds where they could rest, and chatted with them for a bit while Scott and I got things settled in the living room.

My mom soon joined us in the living room and we talked excitedly about the day so far and what was to come. I kept waiting for things to pick up, and they didn’t. My contractions were 3-5 minutes apart, lasting for less than a minute, and still not very intense. I kept trying to check myself to see how far dilated I was, but things were just too mushy and I couldn’t tell. One of the midwives said she would check for me and even though I typically don’t like being checked by anyone ever after feeling violated during Ruby’s birth, I was very curious to see just how far along I was. It wasn’t easy for her to tell either, but she guessed that I was at about 6 cm. At least there was some progress. I couldn’t imagine being at a 6 and having things fizzle out overnight.

At about 9:30 p.m., my mom finally went to lay down. “Wake me up if things start happening,” she said. I felt so bad that things weren’t progressing, and that all of the midwives had to just sit around waiting for me. But I put all of those feelings of being a watched pot out of my mind and knew that this time was all about me and whatever I needed. I let everything else melt away and focused on my body and what it was telling me.

During contractions, I would bounce on the ball and the pain would just melt away. I didn’t really even feel the need to vocalize, but I did anyways just so that the midwives would know that something was going on. They were set up in our little homeschool room staying out of sight, but within earshot. They would come in to check the baby’s heart rate periodically, but basically let us do our thing which is just what I wanted.

By 10:00 p.m., Scott wondered if I was up for some video games. That sounded perfect! So Scott and I played this silly fighting game called Altered Beast where you have to punch and kick all of these evil creatures and every time you kill the white wolf you power up to become an increasingly more muscular man or ferocious beast. The midwives later told me that it was so funny because they would hear all of these sounds and rush in to see what was going on only to see us excitedly talking about the game. Even during contractions, I would keeping pushing A and B to fight the evil creatures.

By about 10:40 p.m., I suddenly got really tired and just wanted to lay down so I closed my eyes and rested on the couch for awhile. I almost felt myself slip into a deep sleep and contractions seemed to stop. After laying down for about 20 minutes, I felt another contraction coming, so I slipped onto the ball and rocked through a very mild one. I laid down for another 20 minutes or so and expected to get up to a very powerful contraction, but once again, it was very mild.

I went to the bathroom at 11:25 p.m. and told the midwives after I checked myself that it felt like the baby’s head was lower and that I was dilated further, but that contractions had died down, so I didn’t know what was going on. Jillian told me that my body was probably saving its strength for the final push, but I was starting to feel like maybe things wouldn’t be happening that night after all. I was starting to get really tired and feeling a little shaky. I was also getting really anxious about how long things were taking, and I didn’t know if I would be meeting my sweet little boy soon, or in hours…how many hours? How much longer???

I was determined that I didn’t want to go to sleep and wait until things picked up the next day, and even though I was tired and really just wanted to lay down, in between each contraction I would squat and sway, or pace the room, or go to the bathroom, or bounce on the ball.

When the midwives came in to check on me, I apologized once again for things taking so long and Jillian said that her and Julie didn’t get to see each other very often and were really having fun catching up. I said I wished that I had some wine for them or something! Scott remembered our kombucha and offered them a glass. He ran to the kitchen and came back with two little glasses and a bottle of our red raspberry leaf kombucha. They loved it and just before I could give them the recipe, I felt a powerful contraction coming on, so I got right to my ball.

Transition

I’m not sure if I was quite to transition at this point, but by about 11:30 p.m., contractions started getting intense to the point where I needed Scott to start rubbing my back. He reached into his old bag of tricks and pressed really hard on my hips massaging them with all of his strength. I didn’t feel like doing our “washing machine” move from Ophelia’s birth, but just steadily bouncing up and down on the ball during each contraction. A low guttural moan started to escape my lips at the height of each contraction and my entire focus was on that moment and what I needed to do to get through it.

But as each contraction ended, the pain completely melted away and Scott and I would joke and laugh and putz around getting ready for the next contraction. At one point during a particularly powerful contraction, I yelled at Scott, “What are you doing! That really hurts!” He had been rubbing my hips pretty intensely and all of a sudden it got painful! “Push in the middle of my back!” I commanded. He did, but it didn’t really do much. (Sidenote: For over a week after the birth, the only thing that really hurt were my hips from Scott pushing on them so hard!)

With just about every other labor, I had experienced back labor and these techniques really worked, but maybe this baby was in a better position because I never once felt any back labor. The peak of each contraction lasted about 20 seconds and was intense, but manageable. I never felt out of control or that the pain was too much. I just knew that I needed to get through it one contraction at a time and that every one brought me that much closer to holding my sweet baby boy in my arms.

This went on for about an hour and then at 12:30 a.m., Laurie told us that she had another mom in labor with contractions 2-4 minutes apart and lasting over a minute. “Well,” I said, feeling like a failure, “she sounds closer than I am.” Laurie explained that she would be sending her backup midwife, Dorthy, to come and assist us. “My last two births happened with the midwives getting there five minutes before I pushed, and now our midwife is going to be gone for five minutes until I push,” I joked.

I knew things were feeling close, but I guess in some ways, I was still scared and I realized that there had been a small part of me that had been holding back this whole time. The part of me that didn’t want to quite accept what was happening, the part of me that kept feeling like there was one last thing that needed to be done before he could be born, the part of me that didn’t feel like I could handle it, and the part of me that was afraid.

Scott asked Laurie if he could help her out with her second load, and in that moment, I just let it all go. The fear, the worry, the pain…I let it all go and went inside of myself and felt like something deep within was finally able to exhale. In that moment, I was rocked by a huge and powerful contraction and then I felt a pop and a warm gush. “My water just broke!” I shouted.

Pushing

The other midwives came rushing into the room and yelled to Laurie, “She’s pushing!” Laurie quickly came into the living room where I had slipped off from my ball onto my hands and knees (my favorite birthing position) and started leaning against the coffee table. Scott helped me take off my underwear, and I almost knocked everything off the coffee table in one fell swoop until I realized that it was a candle and half drunk bottle of kombucha beside me. So I gently moved them aside and grabbed onto the side and back of the table while I rested my head in the middle and let my body get to work. I could hear the midwives scurrying about getting their supplies and laying chux pads underneath me.

I felt that familiar urge to push that took over every sensation in my entire body, and I knew that I would soon be meeting my son. The thought thrilled me, and I felt the adrenaline surge through me as he traveled down the birth canal. I remembered to take it slow and gently let him enter the world so that I wouldn’t damage myself too badly.

When it felt right, I pushed. In a few minutes, I could hear Scott yell, “I see the head!” I heard other voices too saying things like, “You’re almost there!” and “You’re doing great!” I love hearing words of encouragement when I get to this pushing phase. Feeling that ring of fire is intense, and I like to hear that it will be over soon and be reassured that everything is okay. Scott just told me as I’m writing this that as the head was crowning, Laurie said, “This might sting a bit” as she poured some kind of black oily stuff all over my perineum that they had been heating up in our crock pot all evening. I will have to ask them what that was at our next appointment! I have no recollection of that by the way. Then the intense feeling of him crowning was over and I knew that I had delivered the head and that the rest of him would be slipping out soon.

As soon as his head was born, Laurie suctioned out his nose and mouth. There was a big smear of something dark on his face. They thought it was meconium at first, but realized later that it was just blood because all of the water that came out was completely clear. As I prepared for the final push, Jillian cradled his head and said, “I’m going to bring him up through your legs,” and with one final giant push, our little baby boy was born. I reached down and picked up his small slippery body and drew him close to me. Nine minutes before, Laurie had started heading out the door, and now here I was holding my sweet little boy!

Everyone helped me turn over and I brought my sweet little boy up to my chest. He looked a little pale, and I quickly wrapped him in a blanket while bringing him to my chest. As the oxytocin rushed through my body, I cooed to him and rubbed his sweet little head in complete awe of the miracle of life. He never once cried and his bright eyes looked calmly right into mine. Within a few minutes, he started to pink up, and I suddenly felt the urge to push again. Out came the placenta.

After I held him for a few minutes, the midwives noticed that his cord had stopped pulsing and so they clamped it and with a few snips, Scott cut his cord. At this point, I was kind of awkwardly propped up on the floor and Scott helped me up while the midwives ushered me to the couch where they had prepared some more chux pads and pillows.

After the Birth

Scott texted my mom to let her know that something had certainly happened. He sent her one word…it said “born”. She was so sound asleep that someone had to go wake her up, but I knew she wouldn’t want to miss this for the world. As I settled onto the couch with my sweet little boy nestled against my chest, Scott cuddled up next to me and we looked into each other’s eyes with that look that says, we just went through something amazing that has changed us once again forever. We looked at his sweet little face and couldn’t believe how alert he was and how simply peaceful he seemed. He was such a beautiful baby!

He latched on right way and ate hungrily. The midwives were busy filling out paperwork, and I asked Scott, “Should we tell them his name?” We had decided a while ago what we wanted to name him, but of course we had to meet him first and see if the name fit. When we said it out loud – Julian William Maaser – we knew that it fit him perfectly! Soon, my mom joined us and couldn’t believe that he was here. We joyfully told her the rest of the birth story and she was so happy to meet her little grandson.

After Julian ate to his heart’s content, they were ready to do the newborn screening. They gently looked at his reflexes and checked over every inch of his body while I sat right next to him talking gently and rubbing his head. He made one little cry of protest, but otherwise continued to display his calm and gentle demeanor that he had shown since the moment of birth. He was a perfectly healthy little boy and there were no concerns. I dressed him in a little onsie and footie pants that I had picked out weeks before. After that, I swaddled him tightly in really nice new swaddling cloth I splurged on from Amazon.

When they checked me over, I just had one little “scuff mark” down there, but otherwise things looked great. My blood flow was normal, my uterus was contracting as it should, and I felt great. I had sent Scott to look for the cats who went outside when we were by the fire much earlier in the evening and hadn’t come back in yet. He kept calling and calling but they didn’t come. Jillian asked me if I’d like to go pee, so I handed Julian to my mom and hobbled to the bathroom with Jillian’s help.

Later, when I asked my mom about holding him for the first time, she said, “It was a magical moment because I was all alone with him. Scott was out looking for the cats and both of the midwives were with you. The room was dim. It was just precious. I didn’t have any pretenses or felt like anyone was watching me. I just looked at him and felt so honored and in awe and sort of in shock a little to hold this precious little being that belonged to you.” When I came back to the living room, Scott was expertly rocking Julian, and just like with Elliot, he was soothed by a pinkie in his mouth.

I was determined to get those cats inside because I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest easy unless I knew they were safe and sound, so I sent my mom outside to do her loud, “Here kitty kitty kitty!” that was so loud I’m surprised all of the stray cats in the neighborhood didn’t come running! Eventually, both of our cats came running from half a block away and were eventually corralled inside. Ahhhhhh, now I could sleep!

After that, we said goodnight to my mom and the three of us headed off to bed. It was about 2:30 a.m. on Saturday morning at that point. The midwives came in to tuck us in and gave us a few postpartum care reminders. Scott drifted off to sleep immediately, but I was up checking my facebook status that I had posted of our new family, and felt like I would be too excited to sleep. But at some point I drifted off. Julian was swaddled beside me and slept soundly for five hours (the best he would sleep for the whole first week, so it’s nice he started off with some good sleep). All of the other children slept peacefully throughout the whole labor and birth. We were so excited to think about their reactions to their new baby brother the next day.

Just Born!

Mommy, Daddy, and Julian

The Next Day

Elliot was the first one up and came into our room at 5:30 a.m. So early! He is usually pretty good about sleeping in until 7:30-8:00 a.m., but he will wake up early if he has to pee. He cuddled up in bed with us, so happy to meet his little baby brother! He giggled and laughed and loved his little brother as he snuggled under the covers with us. After that, Scott took Elliot out to the living room and I continued to sleep.

Ruby woke up at 6:30 a.m. and joined Daddy and Elliot. Then Ophelia, who usually sleeps in until 9:00 or 10:00 a.m., woke up at 7:30 a.m. and that’s when Ruby and Ophelia came in our room and met Julian for the first time. Ophelia said, “Baby, baby!” but was really pretty indifferent. Ruby was sooooooooo happy! She cuddled right up to him and started talking to him right away. I don’t remember her first words exactly, but I think she started describing the world to him right off the bat and explained how much she loved him and was so happy to meet him.

At about 9:00 a.m., my mom woke up and joined Ruby, Elliot, and Ophelia who were all dressed and fed and playing with Daddy in the living room. She took over and let Scott come back to bed. I tried sleeping some more, but I was still just too excited. Plus I felt really gross and wanted to take a bath and brush my teeth. My mom brought in the herbal bath mixture and I enjoyed a nice hot soak in our walk in tub while Scott cuddled up with Julian. It felt AMAZING!!!

I was so happy to bring Julian out to the living room and to have our whole family was together for the first time. My mom took such good care of us that day. She brought us food, played with the kids, and kept the house clean. At about 2:00 p.m., Grandma Gene and Andrea joined us. It was so nice to have a few extra hands to help keep everyone entertained. Scott and I were able to slip away for another nap and my mom brought us out an amazing platter of dinner when we awoke and came back into the living room.

Ruby and Elliot Love Their New Baby Brother

That night, we were able to easily pick up our bedtime routine with one extra person in tote and everyone went to sleep on time, peacefully, and easily. I am sooooooo glad we had some good bedtime routines in place and were so settled in our home. Scott and I sat in the living room with Julian, who just like when he was in the womb, would wake up after the kids went to bed. He was so peaceful and calm and Scott and I chattered away excitedly about all of the events that had taken place. My heart felt so full of love that it could just about burst.

Grandma Gene Meets Julian

Aunt Andrea Meets Julian

Elliot Holding Julian

Ruby Holding Julian

December 3, 2014/by Stacey Maaser

My First Birth: An Epilogue About Dealing with the Pain

Birth, General, Mom Talk

So hear I am, three days away from my due date with my fourth pregnancy, and it took a little longer than the last few times, but I’m finally starting to read birth stories again, namely my own! Reading birth stories is empowering and reminds me that my body is designed for this process. I am so glad that I wrote down every single detail because reading through these stories makes me feel like I’m right there again. I highly recommend doing this because as memorable as giving birth is, there’s no way you will remember all of the little details.

The one that stood out to me the most was my first born Ruby’s birth. It brought tears to my eyes as I remembered the pregnancy, the researching, the not knowing, the fear, the anticipation, the l-o-n-g labor, the pain, oh god the pain, and the sheer and utter joy of meeting our sweet little angel that had been nestled inside of my body and our minds for so long.

During a Contraction at the Birthing Center

During a Pretty Intense Contraction at the Birthing Center

During Labor for Ruby at the Birthing Center

During a Mild Contraction at the Birthing Center

Meeting Ruby for the First Time

I just wanted to write a little epilogue as a reminder to myself before I enter the throes of childbirth again, and to anyone who has read my birth story before giving birth the first time and thought “Yikes!”, or to anyone else who might be scared about childbirth and researching what it’s like to give birth for the first time…or anytime. While first births do tend to be long, I do not think that I should have had to go through so much pain, and I just wanted to talk a little bit about why I did and if I could go back in time, what I would have done differently.

1. Labor at home as long as possible. When I was laboring at home, the pain was WAY more manageable. I was so comfortable putzing around my house, but as soon as we had to awkwardly get me in the car, drive for 20 minutes, get to a strange new place in the middle of the night, be scrutinized by someone who didn’t think one of my contractions was “good enough” to be admitted, and then have nothing to do but walk the strange hallways and watch the clock, it started to feel like things were out of my control. I know that memories fade over time, but when I remember Ruby’s birth, I don’t remember things being very painful until we got to the birthing center.

2. Have a home birth. There are tons of articles that can scare you into the all of the things that could go wrong in birth and why you should be near medical staff who can provide all of the interventions that cause the United States to be ranked 34th when it comes to infant mortality, and there are also some wonderful articles, like this one, about how giving birth at home is actually safer and requires less medical intervention. But I want to talk about the feeling you get from being home versus being somewhere foreign. We were at a birth center with a team of caring midwives, comfortable homey rooms, soft lighting, plenty of snacks, and no interventions, yet it still wasn’t comfortable enough.

The best thing about being at home is that you already have an entire system in place for relaxation. When I am feeling stressed at home at any normal given time, I know that I can light some candles, take a bath, grab one of my favorite beverages from the fridge, put on my favorite playlist, and let the problems of the world melt away. But in this foreign place, we had to figure out how to hook up our ipod, where to put all of my “comfort items” that I brought from home (and yes, I brought a deck of cards – just in case we got bored!), dim the lights, try to remember from our tour how the kitchen was set up, and orient ourselves with our new surroundings. And while things may have appeared physically comfortable, they weren’t mentally comfortable.

That brings me to the next best thing about being at home. You can putz around your house doing menial tasks that will totally help you to clear your mind in between each contraction. My nesting instinct always hits really hard right before and during labor because I want everything to be just so when my precious little angel enters the world. The beautiful thing about labor is that while contractions do have about a 15 second peak of really intense pain, the pain will completely melt away in between contractions and this enables you to handle them one at a time. Unless, that is, you are like me with this first birth and start to panic and feel like the pain will never leave and you’ll be stuck there laboring forever. Giving birth is just as much mental as it is physical. If you’re considering a home birth, I highly recommend watching The Business of Being Born and reading Ina May Gaskin’s Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.

3. Have the option of an epidural if you’re not going to give birth at home. I kept thinking that time would go fast, or that my adrenaline would kick in, or that my endorphins would allow me to handle the pain, but none of those things happened. I kept trying to do everything I could think of and because I was in this foreign place, I was trying to rely on my head instead of my body. Whenever I have labored at home, I have been able to let everything else melt away and focus very intently on what my body is telling me. Should I get on the exercise ball, get on all fours, wiggle my hips, request pressure on my back from my husband, walk around, get in a warm bath, eat something or rest?

As much as midwives, doulas, husbands, nurses, and doctors are there to help and support a woman in labor, it’s really just an internal experience for the mother. She has to find her inner strength, she has to learn who she is more deeply than she ever has before, she has to get in touch with the parts of her mind and body that are locked far far away, and in doing so, she opens up to the part of her that is giving birth not just to a child but to herself as a mother. This is an incredibly difficult thing to do when you have a bunch of people shouting directions at you or making you feel like a watched pot. This is why I recommend that if you’re not going to give birth at home, just get the dang epidural. Sure, you’ll have to deal with the fact that you are paralyzed from the waist down and lose your ability to listen to your body, but how can you be expected to do that in the first place in this foreign place with foreign people trying to learn how to do something completely foreign to you? If I could go back in time and give myself an epidural, I most certainly would!

4. Don’t rely on what you’ve read or what you’re being told, rely on your instincts. I just want to reiterate this again because it is so so important. Your body knows what do to. Women are designed for this process and our bodies are made to open up and give life. Women around the world and for centuries before this have been giving birth long before epidurals were even invented. It is a process that unites all women and it is an amazing and incredible experience that will transcend you and leave you completely changed from the person you were before…for better or for worse.

When I started to panic and felt like the pain was more than I could bear, I started thinking about things I had read like, “I should squat because it opens up the birth canal by 20%. Or, I should sit backwards on the toilet because it helps to give women the urge to push.” Instead of relying on my instincts, I was relying on the professional advice I had gleaned rather than on my natural instincts. If you can enter a mental state where you can really and truly listen to your body, find your inner strength, and do what comes naturally, you will be able to have an experience that is exciting, beautiful, and pure rather than something you just want to be over.

5. Don’t let anyone check you internally. I know that most women are uncomfortable with the idea of checking themselves, but I highly recommend that you get familiar with your body either before becoming pregnant or when you first find out so that you have a comparison and check yourself regularly so that you can track your progress. When you check yourself, you are very in tune with what feels okay and what hurts. When I was internally checked during this birth it was VERY painful! I think before the midwife checked me she asked if she could “do something to help things move along more quickly” and even though I have no recollection of understanding what that meant in any sense, my husband said I grunted something that sounded like, “Sure!” I’d say it’s best to keep everyone’s hands out of there except your own. It’s not fair to ask a woman who is going through something like this if they are okay with having their waters broken, cervix stretched, or membrane’s stripped when they don’t fully understand what the ramifications will be.

I have found that the best way to learn how to check myself is in the shower. I am right handed, so I prop up my left foot as high as I can and position my left hand palm up and my first two fingers extended. Then I reach up and back as far as I can. Now, first of all, I can tell you that my cervix has been much easier to find with each pregnancy, probably because it’s not as high as it once was. But it is still possible to find with your first pregnancy. You just have to reach really really far. In the beginning, your cervix will feel like a nose, kind of sticking out and down with a firm but soft texture. In the middle, you’ll find the opening of the cervix. With your first birth, you probably won’t feel much of an opening until much later in the pregnancy, but with subsequent births, it always seems to be dilated to at least 1 cm. As you enter labor, your cervix will efface which means that it will thin out and flatten. It starts out as being 0% effaced and when it’s completely 100% effaced and your cervix is dilated to 10 cm, you will be ready to push the baby out. With Ruby, I was about 1 cm dilated and about 40% effaced for the weeks leading up to her birth. Now with my 4th, I have been about 2 cm dilated and about 60% effaced for weeks.

During labor with Ruby, I checked myself regularly before we went to the birthing center. My husband found a google image that looked like a bullseye chart showing what the cervix would look like at each dilation. Before we left, I predicted that I was dilated between 4 and 5 cm. When the midwife checked me upon our arrival, I had been right on. I remember checking myself with our second birth, Elliot, when I was in the bathtub and even though I was dilated to 5-6 cm, I was in denial that the birth was really happening and convinced that I would still go to sleep that night. With our third birth, Ophelia, I remember checking myself right before I pushed her out. I was brushing my teeth in between contractions and I announced to my husband, “I can’t feel any edges, I must be dilated to 10 cm!” I can’t tell you how empowering it is to be able to check yourself and know exactly what your body is going through rather than having to rely on someone else to do it for you.

6. Don’t let anyone stretch your cervix during labor. I’m sure that there are times when this intervention can actually be helpful, and I’m not saying to NEVER do this. I would just encourage you to research it before you go into labor so that you at least know what you are being asked to give up when this happens. Whenever the midwife stretched my cervix, I believe she gave me what is called an anterior lip (it is also possible that I already had an anterior lip, but whatever she did made things hurt much much worse). This happened to my mom too when she had her cervix stretched by her midwife during the birth of my twin sisters and the results can be very painful. Basically, the baby’s head will push down on the cervix and evenly dilate it so that it forms a nice perfect circle. When your cervix is stretched in the throes of labor, however, it can cause it to open in an oblong shape which can become enflamed and continue to dilate unevenly. This becomes VERY painful and can prevent you from opening up all the way when it’s time to push thus resulting in further interventions.

7. Don’t let anyone bully you into speeding up your labor because they have somewhere else to be. When we transferred to the midwifery at 31 weeks, we barely had time to meet each of the five midwives who could potentially be at our birth. This resulted in us having someone at our birth who we had only met one other time and who we had not had the time to build a relationship with. With our next three births, we have had three different midwives (because of our constant moving), who we got to know each one really really well throughout the entire pregnancy, which resulted in an incredible experience every time. With our first birth, I felt like our midwife was slightly annoyed at being called up in the middle of the night and not looking forward to the long slow progression of a first time mom. When she wanted to stretch out my cervix to “speed things up” I have to wonder, was that really for me, was that really in my best interest? Or, was she just hoping to get home a little sooner?

8. Keep hydrated and nourished. I don’t know what all of the hospital policies are, but I have heard that they only allow ice chips in case you have to have to be rushed into surgery so you don’t vomit. Once again, something that is good for the doctors, but not for the woman in labor. I have read many stories of laboring mothers whose births have stalled because they simply ran out of fuel. Now personally, I didn’t feel like eating anything during labor and during transition I actually vomited up all of the food I had eaten anyways, but my husband and midwife kept my water bottle constantly full of Recharge which really helped me to keep my energy up. During my third birth I ate a nourishing bowl of soup right before labor and it energized me completely throughout the birth.

In conclusion, I just needed to give myself a little pep talk as I try to mentally prepare for this upcoming birth and remember that I can do this, my body is designed to do this, it will start, I will manage the pain one contraction at a time, it won’t last forever, I will rely on my instincts and find my inner self and my inner strength, and then I will be able to bond with a little person who will join our family and change our lives forever.

November 9, 2014/by Stacey Maaser

Our Third Born: Ophelia’s Homebirth Story

Birth, General, Mom Talk

Ophelia Ella Maaser

Born: 5-21-2013

Time: 7:35 p.m.

Measurements: 7 lbs 8 oz , 20.5 inches, 13.5 cm head circumference

The Pregnancy

After having Elliot, my body felt pretty depleted, so when I found out I was pregnant for the third time, I met with a homeopathic doctor at Elder and Sage for some wonderful advice. She was able to guide me through a pretty serious case of candida and advised me to cut out sugar and carbs. I did this pretty religiously for six weeks, then half-heartedly for three months, and sort of okay for the rest of the pregnancy. I wish I had stuck with it a little better, as I battled a yeast infection towards the end and then thrush afterwards, but that ordeal is another story! Anyways, she also advised that I drink red raspberry leaf tea as much as three times a day. I did this pretty faithfully throughout the whole pregnancy and it was AMAZING! I was suffering from a practically prolapsed uterus after Elliot’s birth and I could feel my pelvic floor getting stronger and stronger with every cup throughout this pregnancy. During and after the birth, my uterus performed and recovered wonderfully!

I also took cod liver oil, a prenatal vitamin, and trace minerals. In addition, I took calcium, magnesium, and vitamin D supplements to help with leg cramps towards the end of the pregnancy. With Ruby and Elliot, I enjoyed small cups of coffee here and there, but with this pregnancy, I cut it out completely. I can’t say that it helped anything per se, but I continued to cut it out after she was born and we never dealt with any witching hour like we did with Ruby or constant crying like we did with Elliot. I did start drinking coffee for about one week and during that time, Ophelia started to cry pretty inconsolably and pretty consistently 12 hours after my daily cup of coffee. When I cut it out, no more crying.

Anyways, our midwife, Sara Badger, was able to give us some wonderful advice during the pregnancy that helped me to enter labor in the best shape possible. She advised a deep tissue pregnancy massage with Lisa Gowins, and a meeting with a chiropractor that helped to melt away the sciatic nerve pain that was becoming quite unbearable. She also moved little Ophelia’s little hand away from her face days before labor, which helped me to avoid tearing like I did with Ruby. During the first three to four months of my pregnancy, I started getting into a pretty amazing kettlebell routine and then after that I stuck with some yoga videos. I tried to do at least ten minutes of yoga daily and that really helped me to stay flexible and in good shape. I’m glad I was able to spend so much time taking care of myself during the pregnancy. It really helped me during labor and recovery.

Leading Up To the Birth

Just like with Elliot, for weeks and weeks leading up to my due date, I thought for sure that I would go into labor early! When I was 37 weeks along and started feeling regular contractions, I realized that we were not at all ready! We didn’t even have any diapers! So that night, when the contractions slowed down and eventually stopped, we talked about things like how we would get through our bedtime routine and what other preparations needed to be met. We spent the next several weeks making and fulfilling one to do list after the other. As my due date drew closer, arrived, and passed, I kept thinking okay, now I’ve finally got everything done, but then the next day I would think of more things to get done! Moving to a new house six weeks before my due date certainly gave me PLENTY of nesting projects!

In my last month of pregnancy, things finally were getting uncomfortable (back aches in the night, leg cramps, the uncomfortableness of getting around, etc.), but I wasn’t anxious about going overdue. Not working for the first time during a pregnancy really took a lot of pressure off. Plus, knowing that I wouldn’t have to go back to work when the baby was a few weeks or months old gave me a piece of mind as well. Thanks to being overdue, I was able to get my sister Lisa’s baby blanket made for her little boy due Oct. 31st, and everything was ready for her baby shower. Also, all items for the new baby from Amazon were shipped and assembled. Diapers, baby clothes, blankets, and the birthing kit were all here and ready to go. Even the massive amount of yard work was finished. (See ya ticks!) Plus, I was even able to clear out the garden boxes and plant my mother’s day flowers, tomatoes, peppers, lettuce, and herb garden.

Cloth Diapers

Pre-Labor

The days leading up to my labor, I knew that things were getting closer and closer. My Braxton hicks contractions were becoming more painful and I could feel myself effacing more and more every day (on top of being about 2 cm dilated for the past 3 weeks). On Tuesday, May 21^st, I woke up at 5 a.m. to some contractions that felt different. Somehow I just knew that these were going to lead to the real thing. I was so excited! Scott and I made good use of our time together in the morning before he had to go to work by doing the one thing that both initiates conception and induces labor… I told him with certainty that the baby would be born that day or the next, but that we still had plenty of time, so he didn’t need to stay home from work or anything.

We enjoyed a nice breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast before the kids woke up and then I enjoyed my second breakfast with the kids. I told them that the baby might come that day and we talked about how it was like mommy had to push out a really big poop and that I might moan and cry out but that I would be okay. I showed Ruby how she could press on my back and help me push the baby out.

We are usually pretty set in our routine of me doing something active with the kids in the morning—be it an outing, playing outside, doing homeschool, or doing some sort of project—but I still wasn’t done with my to do list, so they played quietly while I made a big pot of chicken and barley soup, a fresh batch of cookies, did the laundry, and tidied the house. I prepared the kids some lunch and they ate at the table while watching some LeapFrog videos. When Scott came home for lunch at 1:00 p.m., things weren’t serious, but when a contraction came, I would pause what I was doing and rock through it. For mental reasons, I just wanted him there with me. So we ate some soup together while watching the kids play in the sandbox, and then he called into work, set his out of office message, and then took the kids off my hands. Once I knew he had taken over, I could feel my entire mind and body melt with a feeling of tranquility. I felt more at ease knowing that I didn’t have to manage them anymore and was able to continue to putz around the house and get everything “just so”. That’s when contractions started to pick up a little more and I knew without a doubt that the birth would be happening within the next 24 hours.

After we played outside, we all went down to the basement to watch The Land Before Time and take a rest. My contractions were coming sporadically at about 10-20 minutes apart. I was about 4 cm dilated at this point, but not making any sort of rapid progress. I was keeping our midwife Sarah in the loop at this point. She wondered if we wanted her there at the birth or just after. We had originally talked about doing an unassisted birth, but we didn’t want to take any chances with complications so we said we definitely wanted her there at the birth, but we would let her know when things were getting closer. While we were watching the movie, I all of a sudden felt really tired, so in between contractions I would lay on the futon for about 10 minutes and close my eyes. Ruby was cuddled up with Scott on the little couch and Elliot kept covering me up with his silky. I would get on the ball to bounce through contractions and Scott would massage my back. The contractions were painful enough, but not so painful that I absolutely needed him at that point. He even snoozed for a little while with Ruby. I was feeling slightly frustrated at this point because I had expected things to move more rapidly after experiencing Elliot’s quick birth, but I felt rejuvenated as we began to migrate back upstairs.

At this point, I still wasn’t sure if I wanted my mom to be there or not. I knew that she would be a great help, and I really wanted her to meet our new addition, but I didn’t want to feel like a watched pot and I thought that it would be ideal to keep the people to a minimum as we bonded as a new family. But I also wasn’t sure if Scott would be able to manage our 2 and 3 year old on his own AND be there to give me the support I needed. So I was keeping my mom in the loop via email and she was ready to leave work at a moment’s notice and be there in any way she could. (Of all days for her to not have a phone! The night before she had dropped it in the lake while her and my dad put their dock in. My dad was getting her her new phone at 3 p.m. that day.) I finally called her work number to tell her that things were progressing and that I would in fact like her to come out and give a hand with the kids. It kind of dawned on me that we would have to put Ruby and Elliot to bed at some point and that I would be entering active labor soon and I couldn’t believe I had even questioned her coming over in the first place. So she said that she could be there about 6:00-6:30 p.m.

Active Labor

I had downloaded a contraction app and started timing my contractions when we were resting in the basement. Contractions went from being about twelve minutes apart when we were resting downstairs to about five minutes apart when I started walking around upstairs at about 5:00-5:30, and I definitely needed Scott to help me through each contraction. The kids were playing on their own so nicely as Scott, and I putzed around the house getting things ready in between contractions.

Ruby and Elliot Eating Snacks

Scott remained within ear shot and was ready to run to my side whenever I called. At one point, we went and got the mail together and saw our neighbor Amy. I told her that contractions were about 3-5 minutes apart so we had just enough time to get the mail and get back in time for the next contraction. In between contractions, I was folding clothes, cleaning up the kitchen, getting snacks for the kids, and checking my phone. It really helped me to read about the different phases of labor and think about what my body was going through. I started getting really excited thinking about meeting the sweet little peanut in my belly soon! I had my Pandora mix playing Joshua Radin, Enya, Sigur Ros, Camera Obscura, and Melody Echo Chamber, and I felt so calm and at ease.

Ruby Pretending to Have a Contraction

My parents arrived at about 6:00 p.m. and it was a relief right away to know that they would be able to take over with the kids. My mom took Ruby outside and they did some puzzles together. Elliot was playing the ipad and my dad gave him some attention and helped Scott finish cooking the hot dogs on the grill. It was so funny to me to be in the middle of this crazy life changing moment and to just see them milling about like they were just visiting on any other weekend.

I had a little “contraction zone” set up in the living room where I would bounce on the exercise ball with a chair in front of it. I would bounce on the ball while holding onto the back of the chair for support while Scott massaged and helped me rotate my hips. When my parents arrived, we moved our “contraction zone” into the dining room area. The contractions were starting to become more painful and I was writing and moaning with Scott supporting me, and it felt like it should just be an intimate moment with the two of us. It’s amazing to think about how much having a baby sounds like making a baby! No wonder my dad seemed a little uncomfortable and I sensed a bit relieved to have the excuse of leaving on his business trip up north soon after that!

At this time, I was dilated to about a 5-6cm. The midwife was going to be arriving at about 7 p.m. (I think I told her at about 4ish after doing the math in my head: the length of prelabor thus far, how fast my contractions were progressing, how dilated I was, etc. and predicted that I would give birth at about 7:00 p.m. How accurate!). When a contraction came I was very vocal with Scott about how to help me, “Higher, lower, squeeze, push!” We eventually settled on a move we called “The Washing Machine” where I would gyrate back and forth and around and around while he pushed and moved my hips with me. Each contraction was lasting about 45 seconds and had about a 15-20 second peak. They were coming about 3 minutes apart. The pain was very manageable and in between contractions the pain completely melted away. I watched my contraction timer to know how long I had to get back to my ball! I kept checking on the kids, taking pictures and videos, and tidying up the house. Scott had put the sheet on the bed and I set up the chux pads and everything else we needed in our room. At this time, my dad left and my mom took Ruby and Elliot to the park across the street.

Transition

Shortly after my mom left with the kids, I had a pretty intense contraction and Scott suggested we move into our bedroom. “Already???” I thought, but I followed him in there. He brought my ball and a chair for me to lean against. In between contractions I brushed my teeth and hair and when I checked myself to see how dilated I was I was shocked that I couldn’t feel any sides to see how far dilated I was. “Hmmmmm, I guess that means I’m at 10 cm!” I thought excitedly. Things still didn’t feel too crazy though, so I didn’t know what to expect at that point.

Birth

The midwives got a little lost and finally showed up at 7:15 p.m. Scott ran to the door to make sure they got in alright and as soon as they entered the room, I heard Sarah’s new little boy Thorbin cry just I was racked by a powerful contraction. I sat on the ball and Scott rushed to my side and did what he could to ease the pain but at this point things just felt crazy. I felt a little pop and warm fluid start to leak out. “My water broke!” I shouted. The contractions were coming quickly and the next one was really intense with a long peak and no break. “Make it stop!” I yelled. So Scott stopped rubbing my back and I said, “NO! Not you! The pain!”

Then I pushed the ball aside, dropped to my hands and knees, and couldn’t believe the words as they came out of my mouth, “I’m feeling pushy!” I shouted. I grabbed onto some blankets that were on the floor and tried to make a little tower to lean against. It had worked so well with Elliot and I was trying to recreate that moment. I remembered that I wanted to just breathe the baby out at this point and waited for the contractions and my body to lead me.

I felt a huge amount of pressure and the incredible urge to push, so I gave one giant push with all of my might. After that, I breathed deeply and felt a delicate hand applying oil to my perineum as I slowly pushed. I gave another slow and steady push as I felt the baby’s head crowning. Words of encouragement made me feel relaxed and took away any panic that was creeping up. “You’re doing great! I can see the head!” they encouraged. I could feel the excitement building as I knew I would be soon holding my sweet little angel. I pushed the head out and felt a huge wave of relief knowing that I was almost done. I waited until I felt the next contraction. Scott said he could see the head moving in and out with each breath. Then when the next contraction came they said, “Ok, give one big push!” So I did, and then I felt the rest of the body slip out. I turned over and couldn’t believe the little miracle that was placed upon my chest.

Our Midwives

After the Birth

I wanted to get settled in and cozy with our little darling, so I left the midwives sitting there in complete shock as I picked her up from where I had given birth in front of our dresser about 15 feet from our bed and carried her there. They hurried over and put some chux pads underneath me as we waited for the placenta to come out. Scott and I were practically weeping with joy at our sweet little angel and didn’t even think about the gender until the midwife asked us if it was a boy or a girl. We promptly looked and both shouted,“It’s a girl!!!”

Newborn Ophelia

“Tell my mom to come back from the park,” I said to Scott, thinking about how excited Ruby and Elliot would be to meet their new little sister. Soon Ruby and Elliot came into the room. Elliot was crying because he didn’t want to leave Grandma’s van and Ruby came bounding in with curiosity and wonder. I had delivered the placenta (which seemed to take forever to come out…about twenty minutes after the birth) and a very long umbilical cord. The cord had stopped pulsing, so Scott helped to clamp both ends and then he and Ruby cut the cord together. Ruby was simply mesmerized as she saw her new baby sister and proclaimed, “Finally I’m not alone anymore!”

Newborn Ophelia

I held Ophelia and just stared into her sweet little face and Scott and I marveled at the little human that had been nestled inside of me—her beautiful dark hair, her delicate and long fingers, and how absolutely perfect she was in every way. She had some vernix on her arms and back and I rubbed it in and she rooted and began to nurse. She latched on right away and we sat there in peace under the red glow of our bedside lamp.

At some point, my sister Andrea had arrived and her and my mom then proceeded to try to put the kids to bed, but they were kind of thrown off by the whole day of me laboring, meeting their sister, and then a different bedtime routine. So as soon as I was done breastfeeding, I handed Ophelia to my sister and went to rescue my poor little crying Elliot. I sat in the rocking chair in his room and cuddled him close while his body heaved with sobs. I told him stories about Captain Hook and the Crocodile and Pinnochio and Monstro the Great Whale until he finally stopped crying. Ruby had been pretty upset too, and Scott was calming her down when Elliot and I came into Ruby’s room for stories and milk and cookies. Both kids were so happy to have us both there reading stories and we made barely a little mention of the sweet baby who wasn’t in my belly anymore before tucking them in for the night. They both slept soundly for the rest of the night.

We went back into our room and my sister Andrea was expertly rocking our little girl while chatting with the midwife. We learned that we missed her first meconium poop that went all over Andrea and the towel. Oops! Probably should have put a diaper on her! I took a quick shower and then nursed my little angel and wrapped up her sleeping little body. Then Scott and I met my mom and sister in the kitchen and reflected on the amazing experience of the birth. We all talked with my dad on speaker phone while he was driving up to the U.P. It was such a magical moment to realize that our family was forever changed. We discussed our possible name choices of Veruca Ella or Ophelia Ella, but decided we would sleep on it and see which name suited her in the morning.

That night, Ophelia didn’t sleep much. She just wanted to look deeply into my eyes. And I was so thankful to have that peaceful time with her in the night. I could literally feel my heart expanding with my love for her and I marveled at what we had just went through together. My afterbirth pains were quite intense – way more so than with Ruby or Elliot – and I couldn’t have slept much anyways. When we woke up the next morning, we both knew that Ophelia was the perfect name for our little angel. Veruca was such cool and rocking name, but it belonged to Ruby first and seemed to fit her personality more. Just one day old (plus 9 months of getting to know her in the womb), and we could already tell so much about her personality. Her long languid movements in the womb, her deep soulful eyes looking intently at us right after birth, her contentment upon hearing the shrieks from Ruby and Elliot…yup, she was Ophelia.

That morning, Scott made us a delicious breakfast and at 9:00 a.m., we all ate at the table as our new “five family”. We talked with Ruby and Elliot about their new sister and then gave them their “after the baby is born” presents of play-dough, bubbles, and M&Ms. It was so nice to give them both a lot of attention right after Ophelia was born. As much as we wanted to give me some rest, we also knew that in these first few hours/days as a new family, we would have to be careful to set the right dynamics in place. We didn’t want Ruby and Elliot to feel like they were being put on the back burner by any means so we proceeded to make our first day together as normal as possible. That included a family trip to the farm in Marion 45 minutes away to get our raw milk, then a stop at McDonald’s to play at the indoor play place, followed by an entire afternoon and evening together as well.

We mistakenly gave Ophelia a pacifier that night and following that she did not want to nurse and was crying a lot. I pumped and gave her droppers full of breastmilk, but she didn’t sleep all night and after getting only 3 hours of sleep since giving birth, I felt like I might just have a nervous breakdown. Our midwife suggested a bath together and lots of skin to skin. At 10 a.m. the next morning, I finally got her to nurse again and we both finally got some much deserved sleep! Ophelia then proceeded to sleep for pretty much the next two days straight (and so did I) and we felt incredible after that! What an amazing journey, an amazing family, an amazing life.

Scott Holding Ophelia

My Sweet Ophelia

Ruby Holding Ophelia

Elliot Checking Out Ophelia

October 12, 2013/by Stacey Maaser

Tag Archive for: babies

How to Know if You Have a Yeast Infection

When to Try Natural Remedies

1. Over the Counter Anti-Fungal Medication

2. Chamomile

3. Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse

4. Garlic

5. Eat Fermented Foods

6. Probiotic Supplements

7. Coconut Oil

8. Eliminate Sugar

9. Take Care of Yourself

10. Let Your Vagina Breathe

Other Remedies

Remedies to Avoid While Pregnant

In Conclusion

The Role of Glycogen in the Vagina

How Estrogen Effects Glycogen

How Glycogen Feeds Candida

Human Placental Lactogen (hPL)

hPL Leads to Insulin Resistance

Gestational Diabetes

How hSL Contributes to Candida

How to Prevent a Yeast Infection

In Conclusion

Sleeping

Furniture

Diapers

Breastfeeding

Baby Toiletries

Clothing and Blankets

Out and About

Things That Hold Babies or Playthings

Toys

Books

Best Books to Read Before You Have a Baby

Postpartum

Things You Don’t Need

Make a Registry

Amazon Mom

1. Nursing

2. Cold or Frozen Washcloth

3. Chamomile

4. Amber Teething Necklace

5. Allspice Teething Necklace

6. Clove Bud Oil

7. Teething Toys

8. Orajel

9. What About Ibuprofen? (i.e. Motrin)

10. What About Acetaminophen? (i.e. Tylenol)

11. Arnica

In Conclusion

*You might enjoy some of my other blogs about teething.

How Amber Teething Necklaces Have Worked for Us

How Do Amber Teething Necklaces Work?

Is it Real Amber?

Does it Need to be Worn Around the Neck?

Should I Take It Off?

In Conclusion

Teething Doesn’t Bother Everyone

When the Allspice Necklace Helps the Most

It Really Works!

How Does the Allspice Help with Teething?

How to Make an Allspice Teething Necklace

Materials Needed

Directions

FAQs

In Conclusion

Let’s Talk About Frenula

Look at Your Frenula

Are the Frenula Causing Problems?

What is a Tongue Tie?

What is a Lip Tie?

Classifications of Tongue and Lip Ties

Symptoms of Tongue and Lip Ties

Temporary Relief

Options Moving Forward

After Care

Body Work

More Personal Stories