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#6-Teaching Phonics with Three Letter Word Families

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Teaching Phonics with Three Letter Words (Part 6 in a Teach Your Child to Read Series)

Phonics is a crucial part of learning how to read and involves using letter sounds to form words. I have found that using rhyming word families (words that have the same ending and ending sound) is a great way to do this because it’s pattern driven and predictable. Before children start sounding out words, it’s best that they be really really familiar with letter names and sounds (short vowels and one sound for each letter to begin with).

Age to Start

After children have a solid understanding of letter names and letter sounds, know that words are made up of letters that carry meaning, and have a good vocabulary, it’s a good time to start teaching them how to sound out three letter words using word families. Some children are ready to start this as young as 2-2.5, and others won’t be ready until they are 3-4. The important thing is to make sure they have a solid understanding of the previous skills and show an interest.

How to Teach

To teach three letter words, it’s very important for children to see the difference between the NAMES of the letters and the SOUNDS of the letters. (*Please review my ABC video and ABC flashcards often to make sure this is really understood.)

As children start to sound out words, it’s important to have the focus be on the SOUNDS that the letters are making.

When I was a teacher, there was an amazing reading program called Fundations that would have children tap out each sound using their fingers. So, for example with the word cat, you would tap your thumb to your index finger saying the c sound, then tap your thumb to your middle finger saying the a sound, and finally your thumb to your ring finger saying the t sound. Then you slide your thumb across your three fingers and say the whole word. (See a video demonstration of tapping out sounds here.)

When my daughter Ophelia was 2, I had a little magnet letter station set up and together we discovered that if you flip a 6 cup muffin tin over, it makes a great platform for teaching three letter words. (You could also flip over a regular baking sheet.) I would set some letters aside, and we would build words together. At first, I built the words ahead of time and then tapped out each sound as I read the word to her. Once she had seen me do it over and over again, she started to say the letter sounds with me, and eventually she said them on her own. After that, we would build words together.

Building Words with Muffin Tins and Magnet Letters

Building Words with Muffin Tins and Magnet Letters

If we were going to build the word dog, I would say something like this, “Let’s spell the word dog. Do you know what letter the word dog starts with? That’s right! It starts with the letter d. Now, what vowel makes the short o sound? That’s right, o! Now, what letter makes the g sound? That’s right, g! We spelled dog!” She loved doing this magnet letter muffin tin activity, and we did it often.

Here is a video of my nephew, Tristan, learning his three letter words at age 2.5 with magnet letters and muffin tins.

After Ophelia had mastered three letter words, we found an eight cup muffin tin and spelled four letter words. This was a great time to bring up words with digraphs like shop and chip. We also started talking about long vowel words in addition to some of the trickier sounds like the long and short oo, r controlled vowels, and diphthongs from my phonemic awareness resources. We also enjoyed spelling favorite words like her full name, the names of family members, and so on.

Here is a video of my daughter, Ophelia, learning about three letter words using magnet letters.

My son Julian (2.5 at the time), on the other hand, hasn’t enjoyed the muffin tins and magnet letters as much as he has coloring over my words, or erasing my words, and this has really helped him to learn about sounding out words while he memorizes them. We also enjoy using Starfall’s word machine.

Here is a video of our oldest daughter Ruby (age 9) teaching Julian (age 3.5) three letter words using magnet letters and a muffin tin.

Word Families Flashcards Set #1

I currently have the flashcards you see below as well as a smaller version includes both set #1 and #2. Print out these flashcards and use them to help you teach your child how to sound out three letter words.

Word Families Flashcards Set #1

Word Families Flashcards Set #1

Word Families Letters Set #1

Print out these letters and use them to teach your child how to build three letter words. I recommend storing each word family in a small baggie and taping a label to the front of each bag for easy storage and use.

Word Families Letters Flashcards Set #1

Word Families Letters Flashcards Set #1

Word Families Video Set #1

In this video, my son Julian and I use fun hands on manipulatives to put together and read the words in each word family. Find it on YouTube or as a part of my three letter words bundle.

Word Families Video Set #1

Word Families Video Set #1

Word Families Flashcards Set #2

Print out these flashcards and use them to help you teach your child how to sound out three letter words.

Word Families Flashcards Set #2

Word Families Flashcards Set #2

Word Families Letters Set #2

Print out these letters and use them to teach your child how to build three letter words. I recommend storing each word family in a small baggie and taping a label to the front of each bag for easy storage and use.

Word Families Letters Flashcards Set #2

Word Families Letters Flashcards Set #2

Word Families Video Set #2

In this video, my son Julian and I use fun hands on manipulatives to put together and read the words in each word family. Find it on YouTube or as a part of my three letter word families bundle.

Word Families Video Set #2

Word Families Video Set #2

Materials to Make My Flashcards

You can certainly just print these flashcards out on card stock and use them as is, but babies love to chew on things, and laminating them and putting them together with some rings will ensure their durability. *Before and after laminating, I cut the corners so they are rounded. 

  • Printer – A good basic printer like this will do the job, but if you’re going to be doing a lot of printing, I would recommend something like this.
  • Card Stock – I like to make sure I always have plenty of this around for all of my flashcards, posters, and other needs.
  • Laminating Sheets – I like having this in stock at all times because not only is it great for laminating flashcards, but for making favorite things books and saving favorite pieces of art work.
  • Laminator – I have a basic laminator like this, and it works great for all types of paper and projects. When laminating, you want to leave at least an eighth of an inch of laminate around the edges so it won’t peel.
  • Paper Cutter – You will LOVE having this around for cutting school pictures and so much more, but it’s great at cutting 4-5 pieces of card stock and 3-4 stacks of laminated card stock.
  • Three Hole Punch – This hole punch is really sturdy and can handle a whole stack of paper. I like angling my flashcards so I get right in the center of each of the top corners.
  • 1/2 Inch Loose Leaf Rings – When making flashcards, I have found it’s best to use two rings on top to keep everything organized and easy to flip through, and this size is best.

Additional Resources

To maximize the use of my word families flashcards, I highly recommend you acquire some of the following teaching tools. Based on your child’s age and his or her interests, you will find different resources that will be appealing. Sometimes the best way to figure this out is through trial and error!

  • Magnet Letters and Muffin Tin – Using these two resources together will make learning three letter words fun and easy. Using my flashcards as a guide, have your child build three letter words on the bottoms of the muffin tins.
  • White Board and Dry Erase Markers with Built in Erasers – I recommend attaching this white board to the wall and using dry erase markers to write three letter words for your little one to erase. The board I have recommended is magnetic, so you can put the magnet letters on it too. With these resources, you can write three letter words on the white board and have your child erase them while reading them.
  • Sidewalk Chalk – Write three letter words on your sidewalk in a hopscotch pattern, and have your little one hop on them and read them.
  • Change-A-Sound Flip Books – I LOVED using these flip books to teach my children how to sound out words. I like how they have sections where the beginning, middle, and ending sound change in the word. The pictures are also great for building vocabulary.
  • Phonics Flip Books – These 34 flip books focus on patterns such as long and short vowels, digraphs, and blends.
  • Starfall Three Letter Words – Starfall is an AMAZING resource for teaching your little one the ABCs, basic math, and how to read. They have an amazing three letter word interactive game that is so fun for kids.
  • Montessori Crosswords – Fun Phonics Game for Kids – This app is great for teaching three letter words using pictures and boxes for the letters. I like how you can choose between upper and lowercase as well as cursive.

Usborne Books

I LOVE Usborne books! The pages are super durable, the stories are interesting, the vocabulary development is phenomenal, and the people at Usborne GET reading. They know that children should start young…I’m talking babies…and provide PLENTY of resources to get your little ones interested in reading.

  • Phonics Readers (20 Book Collection) – These phonics books blow anything I have ever seen out of this world! In some phonics readers, they focus so heavily on one certain sound that it overpowers the text. Not so with these! If you flip to the end of the book, there’s a section for parents that explains what the focus is and how to use the books which is great! Every book in this series is so well done. I mean, this is quality literature for sure that your little readers will learn how to decode with repeated reading. The rhyming text makes figuring out the last word very predictable. I like pausing to give my little ones a chance to say the last word as they are learning how to read.
    • The series includes: Bug in a Rug, Goat in a Boat, Llamas in Pajamas, Raccoon on the Moon, Cow Takes a Bow, Snail Brings the Mail, Bee Makes Tea, Underpants for Ants, Crock Gets a Shock, Crow in the Snow, Fox on a Box, Ted in a Red Bed, Ted’s Shed, Hen’s Pens, Fat Cat on a Mat, Goose on the Loose, Frog on a Log, Toad Makes a Road, Mouse Moves House, and Big Pig on a Dig
  • My First Reading Library (50 Book Collection) – This is the best set of books you could ever buy! I have totally used all of these books to teach my children how to read from a young age. I love how each book has two levels of text. One page has minimal text for the child to read, often in the form of a word bubble, and the other page has more text for the parent to read. When your child is ready, he or she can read both pages!
Scott Reading Julian His Favorite Usborne Phonics Book

Scott Reading Julian His Favorite Usborne Phonics Book

In Conclusion

Teaching children to sound out three letter words is the beginning of their independent reading journey. With each of my children, once they get to this part after building a strong foundation with letter names and letter sounds, understanding that words have meaning, and building vocabulary, reading seems to take off as if by MAGIC. It’s like they have broken the code and are in the same fervor as Helen Keller’s water scene where she finally understands that the letters Anne Sullivan is putting together in her hand are words that represent things in her world. Help your child break the code for learning how to read…with phonics.

For More Information

You’ll find everything you need to teach your child to read on my teachers pay teachers store which includes flashcards, videos, posters, handwriting, math resources, and more.

How to Teach Your Child to Read in 5 Simple Steps (Keeping it Simple)

  1. Language Rich Environment: Use oral language at the child’s level (Get down on the floor and play together!) and help them memorize vocabulary words. (Tell them the names of things!)
  2. Phonemic Awareness: Teach one sound for each letter of the alphabet. (Start with short vowels.)
  3. Phonics: Tap out sounds in three letter words to teach how sounds come together to make words.
  4. More Complex Phonemic Awareness: Introduce long vowels, digraphs, other vowel sounds, and complex consonants.
  5. Reading Comprehension Strategies: Use quality literature to interact with books and ask questions before, during, and after reading to make sure your child is understanding what is being read.

Teach Your Child to Read Blog Series (Digging Deeper)

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#7-Unlock the Final Stages of Reading with Advanced Phonemic Awareness

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If you teach letter names and letter sounds really really well (with one sound for each letter), and then have children build three letter word families, they will be ready for the next stage which is learning about the more advanced phonemes in our English language. Sure, children can probably use context clues to figure out a lot of these rules, but by specifically teaching them about the tricky parts, it will take away they mystery and help them go from good to great readers.

Phonemic Awareness

The ability to hear, identify, and manipulate all of the sounds the letters make is known as phonemic awareness. Each individual sound is called a phoneme, and we have 44 phonemes in the English language.

Studies show that,

“The two best predictors of early reading success are alphabet recognition and phonemic awareness.”

When first teaching children the ABCs, I highly recommend associating only one sound to each letter, but once children have mastered that, it’s time to introduce them to ALL of the sounds the letters make. (Find all of the resources that you need right here at my shop.)

Auditory Exposure

Before children learn how to SPELL the letter arrangements that make these sounds, they need to HEAR and IDENTIFY them. Children are exposed to these sounds through oral language, but by having these spelling patterns pointed out at a young age while reading quality literature, it will make learning how to read all of the tricky words in our English language SO much easier.

There is a misconception that children need to wait until they are a certain age before being taught about the complexities of the English language, but the reality is that their brains are yearning for this information at a much younger age like when their brains are peaking at the age of 2-3 years.

The Remaining Sounds

After learning the basic sounds from the alphabet (one sound for each letter, short vowels), these are the remaining sounds in the English language.

  • Long Vowels – In addition to teaching children about the 5 long vowel sounds, I also want to introduce them to common spelling patterns.
  • R Controlled Vowels – When a vowel is followed by an r, it makes a different sound.
  • Digraphs – Digraphs are two letters that come together to form one single sound.
  • Long and Short /oo/ Vowel Digraphs – Two vowels that come together to make one sound. For example, the /oo/ in moon is long, and the /oo/ in  book is short.
  • Diphthongs – These gliding vowels start with the sound of the first letter and glide to the next.
  • Complex Consonants – Although children may be familiar with the other sounds these letters make, it is a tricky concept that some consonants make more than one sound.
  • Blends – Blends aren’t super tricky because even though two consonants are blending together, you can still hear each individual sound. However, I have included them here because it’s great additional practice for tapping out the sounds for longer words.

Age to Start

The ages that I have introduced my children to this level of phonemic awareness has varied based on their abilities and interests. I would say let their curiosity guide you to find teachable moments. My daughter Ophelia, who was reading by age 2 was very curious and very aware of the differences in sounds, so I would tell her the rules at a very young age. My sons Julian and Elliot didn’t really show an interest until they were about 4-5 years old. When they were reading and stumbled upon a word that didn’t seem to fit the standard rules, I would point out the rule for why it sounded the way it did.

How to Teach

It’s really best to start gradually. With my children, once I saw that they had a solid understanding of the short vowels, I started to sneak in some long vowels too. So, for example, when we were reading through my ABC flashcards and we would say that, “a is for apple”, I would also add, “a is for apron too”.

Teaching the remaining letter sounds can seem overwhelming, but if like the rest of my resources, you start young and do a little bit over a long period of time, your child will master the remaining letter sounds and have a great foundation for learning how to read. I recommend introducing one set of flashcards at a time, but most importantly, get to know these flashcards YOURSELF so that you can point out the rules while reading quality literature together.

It’s very important to have regular reading time when your child is at this stage. Reading should be fun, not a “set your timer” sort of chore. I find that by having a reading ready environment with tons of books in baskets easily accessible in every room, it makes reading easy to do. I love cuddling up with my little ones, getting some snacks, covering up with a favorite blanket, and getting really animated while we read our favorite books.

Reading with Elliot

Reading with Elliot

I also love resources like this Leapfrog Fridge Phonics Letter Magnets and this Preschool Prep Letter Sounds DVD because they teach children all of the sounds that each letter makes at once. While this is too overwhelming for your 6 month old baby who is just starting to become familiar with the alphabet, it’s great for your toddler or preschooler who is ready to master a deeper level of understanding about ALL of the sounds that letters can make. Preschool Prep also makes a really engaging Meet the Digraphs DVD that is a GREAT way to introduce your child to digraphs.

Long Vowels Flashcards and Video

Long vowels are tricky because in our English language there are soooooooo many ways to spell them. Teaching children the common ways to make these long vowels will help them immensely as they start to read. When you start using these flashcards, focus first on the the picture and the word. Once your child is familiar with the picture and the word, then you can start talking about the rule that makes the vowel long. If your child is ready for a challenge, start talking about other words that fit that rule. It’s all about layers, and teaching a little bit at a time over a long period of time is what works best.

Long Vowels Flashcards

Long Vowels Flashcards

Long Vowels Video

Long Vowels Video

Other Vowels Flashcards and Video

These other vowel sounds are tricky because they don’t really fit into the short or long vowel categories. First, there’s the long and short oo vowel digraphs, followed by r-controlled vowels, and finally diphthongs. These vowels sounds are something that adults may not even know how to properly name, so you may be learning alongside your child, and that’s okay!

Other Vowels Flashcards

Other Vowels Flashcards

Other Vowels Video

Other Vowels Video

Digraphs Flashcards and Video

Digraphs are tricky because they are two letters that come together to form one single sound. When children don’t know about digraphs, it can make sounding out words like phone and them very difficult. As with the other vowels, you may not be familiar with all of the digraphs, and so once again, it’s totally fine to learn alongside your child!

Digraphs Flashcards

Digraphs Flashcards

Digraphs Video

Digraphs Video

Complex Consonants Flashcards and Video

I find that the best time to talk to children about consonants that make other sounds is when they are curious or when they make a mistake. For example, if you ask your child what sound the letter c makes, and they say /s/ as in “circus” instead of the common sound of /k/ as in “cat”, you can say, “Yes, the letter c can make the /s/ sound as in circus, but usually it will make the /k/ sound as in cat. That’s why we call it a copycat letter. It actually doesn’t make its own sound but either borrows the /k/ sound or the /s/ sound.” 

Blends Resources

Blends aren’t really that tricky of a concept. In a blend because you can still hear each letter sound, they just well, blend together, but I decided to include them anyways, because I think it’s a great way for children to revisit the decoding skills they learned with three letter words with longer words.

Materials to Make My Flashcards

You can certainly just print these flashcards out on card stock and use them as is, but babies love to chew on things, and laminating them and putting them together with some rings will ensure their durability. *Before and after laminating, I cut the corners so they are rounded. 

  • Printer – A good basic printer like this will do the job, but if you’re going to be doing a lot of printing, I would recommend something like this.
  • Card Stock – I like to make sure I always have plenty of this around for all of my flashcards, posters, and other needs.
  • Laminating Sheets – I like having this in stock at all times because not only is it great for laminating flashcards, but for making favorite things books and saving favorite pieces of art work.
  • Laminator – I have a basic laminator like this, and it works great for all types of paper and projects. When laminating, you want to leave at least an eighth of an inch of laminate around the edges so it won’t peel.
  • Paper Cutter – You will LOVE having this around for cutting school pictures and so much more, but it’s great at cutting 4-5 pieces of card stock and 3-4 stacks of laminated card stock.
  • Three Hole Punch – This hole punch is really sturdy and can handle a whole stack of paper. I like angling my flashcards so I get right in the center of each of the top corners.
  • 1/2 Inch Loose Leaf Rings – When making flashcards, I have found it’s best to use two rings on top to keep everything organized and easy to flip through, and this size is best.

In Conclusion

By learning about ALL of the sounds in the English language, children will have the code to unlock reading hard wired into their brains. When children are familiar with these sounds and how they are presented in text, it is best to reinforce this understanding by pointing them out while reading quality literature. So make reading fun, fill your house with quality literature and easily accessible books, read often, and have fun! Happy reading!

For More Information

You’ll find everything you need to teach your child to read at my teachers pay teachers store which includes flashcards, videos, posters, and more.

How to Teach Your Child to Read in 5 Simple Steps (Keeping it Simple)

  1. Language Rich Environment: Use oral language at the child’s level (Get down on the floor and play together!) and help them memorize vocabulary words. (Tell them the names of things!)
  2. Phonemic Awareness: Teach one sound for each letter of the alphabet. (Start with short vowels.)
  3. Phonics: Tap out sounds in three letter words to teach how sounds come together to make words.
  4. More Complex Phonemic Awareness: Introduce long vowels, digraphs, other vowel sounds, and other consonant sounds.
  5. Reading Comprehension Strategies: Use quality literature to interact with books and ask questions before, during, and after reading to make sure your child is understanding what is being read.

Teach Your Child to Read Blog Series (Digging Deeper)

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#8-Reading Comprehension Strategies Lead to Independent Readers

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When you interact with books before, during, and after reading using quality literature that engages your child, they will learn one of the most important aspects of reading which is comprehension. When children understand what they are reading, it makes them want to read more! Creating a love of reading is the ultimate goal of learning how to read. Children who struggle to decode words and comprehend text will find reading laborious, difficult, and no fun. Help your child lay the foundation for learning how to read by following all of the blogs in my Teach Your Child to Read series and enjoy watching them become independent readers who love reading!

Reading Comprehension Strategies

When children are reading a book, it is so much more than just decoding words on a page. The more children interact with the books they read, the better their comprehension will be. When you read books together, use these reading comprehension strategies to help your child gain a deeper understanding of what they are reading and show them what it means to interact with books.

  • Activate Prior Knowledge: Before reading the book, check to make sure your child knows about some of the main features of the book. For example if there was an elephant on the front cover, you could ask, “Have you ever seen an elephant before? Do you know where elephants live besides the zoo?”
  • Making Predictions: Ask questions that get your child to think about what will happen next. This helps them to become engaged while reading the book to see if their prediction will be right or not. Do this before and during reading.
    • What do you think will happen at the end of the book?
    • Do you think the main character is going to learn a lesson?
    • What do you think will happen next?
  • Making Connections: Help your child become engaged with reading by making connections before, during, and after reading a book.
    • Text to Self: “Has this ever happened to you? Can you think of a time when you _______ like the main character?”
    • Text to Text: “Does this book remind you of another book? This author writes a lot of silly books, I wonder if this book will be silly too?”
    • Text to World: “This book is about bullying. Why is bullying a bad thing? Do you know what being adopted means?”
  • Story Elements: Talk to your child about the characters in the story, the setting, the sequence of events, the problem and the solution, and the lesson or moral learned at the end of the story.
  • Monitor Understanding: While reading, ask questions to make sure your child is understanding what is going on. This will really help with their overall comprehension.
  • Making Inferences: There are lots of things that are implied during reading that aren’t stated explicitly. By helping children to figure out how to “read between the lines“, they will be able to comprehend the true meaning of the text.
  • Different Genres: First we have fiction (fake) and nonfiction (real). Talk to your child about the text features and how they are different between the two genres. Point out how they both have titles and title pages, nonfiction books will typically have a table of contents, glossary, index, and captions and chapter books will typically have a table of contents and chapter headings. Within the genre of fiction, you’ll find many subcategories that have typical features such as fairytales, realistic fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, and historical. Discuss what is predictable about each genre like how in fantasy books things can happen that wouldn’t happen in real life.
Elliot Loves Reading Nonfiction Books

Elliot Loves Reading Nonfiction Books

More Question Stems

One of my favorite things to do with the kids is to get huge piles of picture books from the library, cuddle up with children on my lap, and read. I love picking out books that are engaging and entertaining for all of us, and I really get into reading these books with expression. While I’m reading, I ask lots of questions that facilitate comprehension.

I like Bloom’s Taxonomy of Questions, because it provides good question stems that start out describing or listing and then progress to higher level thinking questions. When you start asking questions, you’ll ask a lot of yes or no questions or questions that can be answered in one word. But as your child’s development progresses, you’ll ask questions that provide for longer answers.

Before Reading

  • “Let’s read the title.”
  • “Can you tell me about what you see on the cover.”
  • “Have you ever done that?”
  • “What do you think is going to happen in this book?”
  • “Can you think of a time when you ________?”
  • “Does this remind of another book we’ve read?”

During Reading

  • “Why do you think _______ did that?”
  • “What do you think is going to happen next?”
  • “Do you think _______ will ever _______?”
  • “Why do you think _______ did that?”
  • “Why did that just happen?”
  • “How do you think the story will end?”
  • “What would you do in that situation?”

After Reading

  • “Can you tell me what the book was about?”
  • “What was your favorite part?”
  • “What lesson did _______ learn in this story?”
  • “How did _______ change throughout the story?”
  • “What was the main idea?”
  • “Can you think of  time when anything like this has happened to you?”
  • “Does this remind you of another book or movie that you’ve seen?”
  • “Would you like to read another book by this author?”

Build Your Library with These Books

In the previous blogs in this series, I have linked to my favorite books and resources that matched each category, these books that I’m suggesting now are examples of QUALITY LITERATURE that you can use to reinforce all of the skills they have learned so far. I have geared my recommendations here for young children ages 4-6 who are ready to take off with reading! Building your library with quality books will ensure that not only will your child learn how to read, but he or she will ENJOY reading! These are the books that our children have loved through and through that helped them become good readers.

  • Phonics Readers (20 Book Collection) – These phonics books blow anything I have ever seen out of this world! In some phonics readers, they focus so heavily on one certain sound that it overpowers the text. Not so with these! If you flip to the end of the book, there’s a section for parents that explains what the focus is and how to use the books which is great! Every book in this series is so well done. I mean, this is quality literature for sure that your little readers will learn how to decode with repeated reading. The rhyming text makes figuring out the last word very predictable. I like pausing to give my little ones a chance to say the last word as they are learning how to read.
  • Elephant and Piggie Books – We love ALL of these books! Elliot was a bit of a “late reader” (reading at age 5, everyone else was reading by 3, but that’s another story…) in our family and he LOVED books like: We are in a Book, The Thank You Book, There’s a Bird on Your Head, and I Broke My Trunk! These books are the new and improved Dick and Jane books from the past revamped with engaging text that is simple, easy, and fun for new readers.
  • Book Box Sets – There’s something super fun about getting a set of books that fit into a cute little carrying case. If children have favorite characters and then can read multiple books about those same characters, they are bringing a lot of background knowledge to the table. These phonics boxed sets are a great place for children to start reading.
  • Ready to Read Books – I love the large print and simple text using characters and settings that children are familiar with for children who are beginning to read independently. Here are some sets of Ready to Read books.
  • Books About TV Shows – We LOVE connecting reading with our kids’ favorite TV programs because it gives them a HUGE wealth of background knowledge to read the books on their own. Often times, books about TV shows will have way too much text for a new reader, but our children have enjoyed picture reading or reading them repeatedly with us until they’re ready to read them on their own. We’ve enjoyed Dora, Backyardigans, Maisy, Daniel Tiger, and more.
  • Shel Silverstein – We love reading Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light in the Attic as read alouds and our kids (once they’re about 3-4 years old) LOVE them. They are so funny!
  • Captain Underpants – These books are not what is typically considered “quality” because of the potty humor, but kids LOVE them, and I think that is most important. Our son Elliot was a bit reluctant to start reading, and these books gave him the final push and motivation to start really reading when he was 5. He LOVED reading the little cartoons and pictures, doing the flip-o-rama pages, and all of the potty humor.
  • Share Your Interests – I’m mostly a nonfiction reader, and I really enjoy learning about biology and how the body works, so I LOVE reading these Basher Books about chemistry, biology, the periodic table and more. My husband really likes reading illustrated classics like Treasure Island, Huckleberry Finn, and Swiss Family Robinson as well as anything by Neil Gaiman.
  • Follow Their Interests – Each of our children have expressed different interests at different ages, and we make it a point to purchase books for them that match their interest. Right now for example, our son Julian (2) is really into cars and trucks, our daughter Ophelia (4) loves Daniel Tiger, Elliot (6) is really into Pokemon, and Ruby (7) devours chapter books at an amazing rate and right now is learning about Manga.

In Conclusion

What is the point of teaching children how to read? At first, we are the ones filling their brains with lessons about the world, but once they know how to read, they can access everything and anything in the world that they seek. By creating a fun reading atmosphere, making a reading a special priority, filling your house with quality books, and making sure your child understands what they are reading, not only will your child learn how to read easily, but a whole world will open up where they can become immersed in whatever they are passionate about.

For More Information

You’ll find everything you need to teach your child to read at my teachers pay teachers store which includes flashcards, videos, posters, and more.

How to Teach Your Child to Read in 5 Simple Steps (Keeping it Simple)

  1. Language Rich Environment: Use oral language at the child’s level (Get down on the floor and play together!) and help them memorize vocabulary words. (Tell them the names of things!)
  2. Phonemic Awareness: Teach one sound for each letter of the alphabet. (Start with short vowels.)
  3. Phonics: Tap out sounds in three letter words to teach how sounds come together to make words.
  4. More Complex Phonemic Awareness: Introduce long vowels, digraphs, other vowel sounds, and other consonant sounds.
  5. Reading Comprehension Strategies: Use quality literature to interact with books and ask questions before, during, and after reading to make sure your child is understanding what is being read.

Teach Your Child to Read Blog Series (Digging Deeper)

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#9-Reinforcing Reading with Writing

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Reinforcing Reading With Writing (Part 8 in a Teach Your Child to Read Series)

Learning how to write is the final step to becoming literate! If children learn about letter names and sounds, how to memorize vocabulary words, and how to sound out three letter words BEFORE learning how to write, then they can focus on learning the fine motor skill of writing while REINFORCING what they already know.

Ages and Stages

I have noticed that my children have been interested and capable of writing in very different ways and at very different ages. Learning how to hold a writing utensil requires special fine motor skills that take lots of time to develop. I think it’s good to introduce children to writing at a young age if they are interested, but I wouldn’t force it.

  • Toddlers – Use fat crayons and markers and encourage any kind of markings on a page. I love writing words and pictures, and my 2.5 year old son Julian LOVES coloring over them. My daughter Ophelia (now just 4), never really cared for crayons or markers, but she has always loved painting.
  • Preschool – Start introducing a pencil and model the correct way to hold it, but don’t push it. Start practicing lines, shapes, and letter formation. Let your child watch you as you draw and color. Provide lots of opportunities for coloring, and make it fun! There are also some pretty neat toys out there like this Getting Ready to Write Gumball Grabber that will help your child build hand strength.
  • Kindergarten – Practice making letters and start writing words. Use write-on-wipe-off books to make letter writing fun.
Julian Loves Coloring!

Julian Loves Coloring!

My Resources

These hand drawn resources are basically my ABC resources without the color. I created this font by hand then imported it into Gimp where I cleaned it up and digitized it. I wanted to make my own font because I wanted to teach children how to read letters the way we typically write letters. I also wanted to be able to color in my letters.

ABC Black and White Coloring Poster Page

After children have learned their letter names and letter sounds, coloring them in will reinforce this skill. You can print out this coloring page, and have your child color over it or color it in using crayons, pencils, markers, or paint. When coloring with your child, it can be fun to color your own page while sitting next to him or her. This way, your child will be able to see how you do things like hold a writing utensil, stay in the lines, and choose what to color. Make sure you “think aloud” to tell your child what you’re thinking while you’re doing it. Click here for a free digital download of my Black and White Coloring Poster Page as well as my ABC Black and White Coloring Flashcards.

Black and White ABC Poster

Black and White ABC Poster

ABC Black and White Coloring Flashcards

These one sided flashcards are a great way to reinforce letter names, letter sounds, and to introduce children to writing. You can print out one set and let your child scribble in it however he or she chooses, and then you can print out another set to color in yourself or color together. Your child will enjoy watching you color, and it’s fun to have a personalized set of flashcards. You could even laminate them when you’re done! Click here for a free digital download of my Black and White Coloring Poster Page as well as my ABC Black and White Coloring Flashcards.

Black and White ABC Flashcards

Black and White ABC Flashcards

Additional Resources

Being a teacher-mom, I have been exposed to a TON of resources. The ones I link to below are simply the best of the best and have been a HUGE help as I’ve been teaching my little ones about writing.

In Conclusion

The fine motor skills required to master handwriting take quite some time to develop. If children learn about letter names and sounds, how to memorize vocabulary words, and how to sound out three letter words before learning about writing, it makes learning about writing the singular focus which is far less overwhelming for children.

For More Information

You’ll find everything you need to teach your child to read on my FREE READING RESOURCES page which includes flashcards, videos, plus more tips and tricks. 

How to Teach Your Child to Read in 5 Simple Steps (Keeping it Simple)

  1. Language Rich Environment: Use oral language at the child’s level (Get down on the floor and play together!) and help them memorize vocabulary words. (Tell them the names of things!)
  2. Phonemic Awareness: Teach one sound for each letter of the alphabet. (Start with short vowels.)
  3. Phonics: Tap out sounds in three letter words to teach how sounds come together to make words.
  4. More Complex Phonemic Awareness: Introduce long vowels, digraphs, and other vowel sounds.
  5. Reading Comprehension Strategies: Use quality literature to interact with books and ask questions before, during, and after reading to make sure your child is understanding what is being read.

Teach Your Child to Read Blog Series (Digging Deeper)

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How We Manage a Bedtime Routine with Five Young Children

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How We Manage a Bedtime Routine with Five Young Children

Over the years, we have tweaked our bedtime routine to help us put all five of our children to bed every night before 8:30 p.m. Without an established bedtime routine, putting our five kids to bed would totally stress me out, but as we enter our evening routine, I am filled with a sense of peace knowing that things will pretty much run on autopilot once the sequence begins, we’ll be able to give every child special attention, and everyone will go to bed easily, happily, and without complaint. (Not only that but the house will be clean and everything will be ready for the next day.)

I don’t think there’s a magic recipe for the perfect routine as long as there is a routine that both the parents and children are familiar with. This is what works for us.

The Importance of Routine

During the summer, we stick to the same sequence of events, but the timing is more flexible because we know that we can stay up later and the kids can sleep in. During the school year, our sequence of events is ruled by the clock. There is still some flexibility based on circumstances, but we basically try to follow the schedule based on time. The kids really like it too. They’ll look at the time and remind us of what step we need to be on. I really think it makes them feel empowered and safe to know what is going to happen next every step of the way.

If you need a laugh, I love how comedian Jim Gaffigan explains what a bedtime without routine might feel like in his stand up from Dad Is Fat.

“Bedtime makes you realize how completely incapable you are of being in charge of another human being. My children act like they’ve never been to sleep before. “Bed? What’s that? No, I’m not doing that.” 

Establishing a New Bedtime Routine After Having a Baby

Every time we’ve had another baby, we’ve had to modify our bedtime routine. It’s always a bit weird and awkward at first, but we keep tweaking it until everything is just right. Sometimes the kids are a bit defiant or unsure of the new routine, but we keep at it knowing that in time it will become second nature to them. We also know that if something is just not working or someone is throwing a fit, we just do whatever we can to plow forward and know that we will reconvene, make a new plan, and make the adjustments needed the next night.

1. Dinner (5:00 – 5:30 p.m.)

It’s funny to think of bedtime starting with dinner, but I like to send all of my children to bed with full bellies, so the sequence for me starts here! All of my kids are such picky eaters and have their own likes/dislikes/cravings/needs, so I like to think of a general theme and then supplement with what each child will require. We typically go for a family style meal with lots to choose from so kids can pick what they want, and I like us to eat outside at the picnic table whenever possible. (Far less clean up!)

Sometimes we all sit around the table to eat, but there is always someone who needs a diaper change or throwing a tantrum it seems, so the dinner table is kind of a revolving door. Also, Scott and I are eating a really specific keto diet for weight loss, so we eat our own food. After everyone has eaten dinner, Scott and I clean up while the kids run off to play. This is a nice time for us to finally catch up with each other!

2. Family Time (5:30 – 6:30 p.m.)

After we clean up dinner, we like to spend some time playing together as a family. Even if the house is messy or there are other things to be done, we pause all chores and spend some quality time together having fun. If the weather is nice, we love hanging out in our backyard or going on an adventure somewhere in town. But if the weather is bad, we’ll stay inside and find something fun to do. Before we start the next part of the sequence (which is pajamas and choice time), we have the kids help us pick up the yard and/or house.

3. Pajamas and Choice Time (6:30 p.m.)

At 6:30 p.m., we start pajamas and choice time. Once kids get their pajamas on, they have about 30 minutes to do whatever they want (which is usually some sort of technology like watching YouTube videos or TV, playing the WiiU, or playing a game on their tablets).

Ruby and Elliot are really good about putting their pajamas on and putting their dirty clothes in their hampers. Ruby likes to be alone in her room for her choice time and Elliot usually likes to use the computer in the kitchen. Ophelia could put her pajamas on by herself, but lately she has been pretending to be a baby and wants me to put her pajamas on for her, so I do. (This is a big year for her starting kindergarten and I am totally fine if she wants to take a mental break from that.) Scott and I put Julian and Jack’s pajamas on too, and then Ophelia and Julian usually cuddle up in our bed with their tablets. Sometimes we’ll turn the TV on for Jack if he’s cuddly and sleepy, and other times he still has energy to burn and continues playing.

While this is going on, Scott and I prepare everyone’s rooms by turning on fans, lamps, and air conditioners or heaters (if needed), get tooth brushes ready, tidy up the house, do the remaining dishes, prepare after dinner snacks (chips and cheese and any leftovers from dinner), and get things ready for tomorrow (backpacks out, set the table for breakfast, etc.).

4. Our Room (7:00 p.m.)

At 7:00 p.m. we tell everyone that choice is over, plug in devices, and meet in our bedroom. During this time, there’s usually some kind of show playing that everyone will like (Storybots is popular right now and a really cool educational show) and Scott wrestles with everyone while I get Ruby’s room and Jack’s bottle ready plus do all of the last minute things that need to be done including brushing my teeth and getting my pajamas on. After all of my jobs are done, I like to tickle, cuddle, wrestle, and play with the kids too. Sometimes kids play with legos at our lego table and sometimes the sleepy or sick ones will cuddle in our bed ready for nigh-night.

This is our last chance to make sure everyone has had enough food for the day, so we will usually bring in the leftovers from dinner, some chips and cheese, and some of my homemade cookies for everyone to snack on. We give last call for chips and cheese about ten minutes before the next step in the sequence.

5. Teeth Brushing (7:30 p.m.)

At 7:30 p.m., we whisper to Ophelia to brush her teeth (because if she’s not first she will have an absolute meltdown, and we’ve made the decision that this is best for all of us) then we do a clapping pattern and chant, “Let’s go brush our teeth! Let’s go brush our teeth!” We turn off the TV, gather all dishes, turn out the lights, and meet the kids in the bathroom.

The three older ones use flossers and then electric toothbrushes to brush their teeth. I still like to brush Ophelia’s teeth every few days, but she does a pretty good job of brushing them herself as do Ruby and Elliot. Julian brushes his teeth with the big kids and then Scott brushes them again in his bed. I hold Jack on my lap and brush his teeth. He opens his mouth for about ten seconds and then it’s like wrestling with a snake, but we get the job done.

6. Little Ones to Bed (Done at 8:00 p.m.)

Ruby, Elliot, and Jack

After teeth brushing, Ruby and Elliot watch Jack in the living room while Scott and I put Ophelia and Julian to bed. To ensure that Jack won’t leave the living room, we put up a baby gate and Ruby and Elliot put one of his favorite TV shows on (currently True or Trolls). *When Jack was a newborn, I would just carry him with me while putting Ophelia and Ruby to bed and then nurse him to sleep after that until he was about 3 months old and able to be left with Ruby and Elliot. 

Daddy and Julian

Scott chases Julian up the stairs, and Julian squeals in delight as he tries to run up the stairs ahead of Daddy. Then Julian throws the door open and jumps into bed. Scott gives him a flashlight while he goes to fill up his water bottle with fresh cold water. When he comes back, Julian is hiding under the covers with his flashlight while Daddy creeps into the room and hides somewhere different each night. Then, when Julian can’t take it anymore (The anticipation is too much!), he pops out of the blanket and Scott runs at him with an, “Ahhhh!” Julian loves it!

Next, he takes a drink of water while Scott finds a book to read. After reading, they look at pictures on Daddy’s phone. When they’re done, Julian turns Daddy’s phone off and says “Boom!” as he drops the phone on his chest, and then Daddy gets into his little toddler bed and snuggles him. They talk about their day, then they give a kiss, and Scott gets out of bed, gives another kiss, and then heads to the door saying, “I love you! Good night! Sweet dreams!” Julian repeats what he says and sometimes changes the words in a funny way (like he does for everything), and then Scott shuts the door and creeps slowly down the stairs.

Mommy and Ophelia

Across the hall, Ophelia and I are going through her bedtime routine at the same time as Daddy and Julian. After she leads the way up the stairs, we always race to her twin bed (her second bed) and hop under the large silky blanket. She turns on my phone and we cuddle up to watch three Kids Learning Tube videos (before these videos we would watch Dr. Binocs). Then she goes pee on the little potty in her room, and I tuck her into bed. We talk about her day and what the next day is going to be like, then I turn off her light, and we kiss each other on the cheeks at the same time and forehead (her idea).

As I back away to the door she always says things like, “I hope you get good sleep and don’t get a virus!” and then she usually keeps trying to say one more thing and one more thing as I try to find a stopping point and say, “Goodnight darling, I love you, sweet dreams!” She often says the last thing after I shut the door and so I’ll say one last thing to her on the monitor when I get to the bottom of the stairs. After she knows that I’m gone, she’ll turn on her bedside lamp and read out loud to herself for about 30 minutes before turning out her light. (Before going to school, she would often stay up until 11:00 p.m. or later reading, singing, and playing and then sleep in until 10:00 or 11:00 a.m. the next day, but now that she gets up early for school, she goes to bed at a decent time.)

When I’m done putting Ophelia to bed, Scott is usually in the living room hanging out with Ruby, Elliot, and Jack. Sometimes they’ll read a chapter book together, sometimes they’ll watch a small part of a movie each night, and other times they’ll just continue watching what they were watching with Jack. When I come out, the party’s over, and Ruby always rides on Daddy’s shoulders to bed. I follow behind with Jack, and Elliot jumps in his bed to read with Daddy.

7. Jack to Bed (8:00 p.m.)

After I tuck Ruby and Jack into Ruby’s bed, we read Jack a bedtime story. Ruby is so in love with her little brother and thinks everything he does is adorable. She loves cuddling with him, reading to him, and giving him goodnight kisses. After story time, I get Jack’s bottle, and we pass by Daddy and Elliot reading saying goodnight. I sit in my big comfy rocking chair and snuggle Jack in his silky while giving him a bottle and singing him lullabies. I keep singing as I carry him to bed, tuck him in to his crib in our closet, shut the door, and walk away. He does so well going to sleep and as of a couple of weeks ago has finally been sleeping through the night! (He used to need a bottle in the middle of the night, but would always go right back to sleep afterwards.)

8. Older Ones to Bed (Done at 8:30 p.m.)

Ruby reads to herself while she waits for me (it only takes me about 5 minutes to put Jack down), and when I come in, she puts her book down so we can chat. Whatever time I get there, I like to stay to talk to her for at least 15 minutes. She LOVES this time of the day, and so do I! We always have these really deep and meaningful conversations that just can’t happen at any other time of the day. We talk about life, what she’s struggling with, what she’s excited about, how our family is doing, what everybody is working on, future plans and dreams that we have, and so on. When our time is up, she reads to herself until she is tired (anywhere from 10-30 minutes), turns off her light, and goes to sleep.

Scott and Elliot start their time together with Elliot reading out loud. He loves reading books like Amulet, Pilot and Huxley, Press Start, Magic Treehouse, and the monster books him and I have made together. After reading, they play a video game on Daddy’s phone or watch some funny videos. Then they chat briefly about random topics (anywhere from why people in fail videos do such stupid things, how to be a programmer, or why people have jobs) and say goodnight. Sometimes Elliot will read to himself for 5-10 minutes, but usually he just wants to turn his lights off and go to bed.

9. Time for Mom and Dad (8:30 – 10:00 p.m.)

Now that Jack goes to bed on the same timeline as the others and sleeps through the night, we are thrilled to get some time to hang out together every night! On many occasions, someone will get out of bed, need an extra cup of water, have to go to the bathroom, have trouble sleeping, or any number of things, so we are flexible knowing that some nights we might get a lot of time to hang out and sometimes we might not get very much.

Depending on the day we’ve had we might want to just sit and talk, watch a movie, play a video game, or get some work done. During the week, we try to make sure we are in bed by 9:30-10:00 p.m. We may push it a bit later on the weekends if we know we can sleep in. (*On the weekends, the kids can wake up, get their ipads or turn on the TV and have choice time as long as they leave us alone!)

**Once day light savings hits, we will pull the bedtime routine back by about half an hour to get everyone to bed before 8:00 p.m. so we can make sure we get enough time to hang out and go to bed by 9:30 p.m. We wake up at 5:45 a.m. and wake up the kids at 6:45 a.m., and this extra sleep in the cold winter months is crucial to avoiding sickness!

In Conclusion

Having a consistent bedtime routine takes the stress out of putting the kids to bed. Every night we know what to expect, they know what to expect, and it runs like clockwork. If someone throws a fit or has some sort of meltdown, we use distraction, humor, and whatever other tricks necessary to get to the next step of the sequence and everything continues to run smoothly. Our bedtime routine isn’t just about getting our kids to go to sleep, it’s about meeting everyone’s basic needs, enjoying time as a family, and spending quality time with each child. This is what works for us and helps us to not only get through our bedtime routine but ENJOY it as well!

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How to Keep Your Child’s Bedroom Clean

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How to Keep Your Child's Bedroom Clean

As soon as a child is old enough to have his or her own room, the battle begins to keep it clean. After raising five children and finally finding a happy balance between clean rooms and happy children, I thought I would share what has worked for us. Keep in mind, we have young children (1, 3, 4, 7, and 8), and I am a stay at home mom who loves to organize and keep things clean!

My Philosophy on Cleaning with Children

I want to raise children who can someday take care of their own house and keep it organized and clean. I know that I only get them for a short time in their lives, and it is up to me to help them get to a point where they will be intrinsically motivated to continue with the lessons I have taught them.

I know that by having my young children clean or help me with chores, they will not do it to my standards, but the point isn’t just to have a clean house, it’s to teach them how to clean.

Maybe when they’re older, they will start to do things to my standard, but I think that as parents, a perfect cleaning job is far less important than a child who knows how to do every chore in the house in their own way. With this in mind, I guide them through the process and offer plenty of praise and support along the way. I know that they won’t need this scaffolding forever and will someday take off in ways I couldn’t even imagine.

Julian's Room (3)

Julian’s Room (3)

 

Ophelia's Room (4)

Ophelia’s Room (4)

What Doesn’t Work

It can be very frustrating to see your child’s messy room, ask him or her to clean it, and get no results. These are some common recommendations that I believe to be very ineffective.

  • Set a time limit, and if the room isn’t clean by that time, go in with a big black trash bag, put everything on the floor in the trash bag, then donate the contents to a thrift store.
  • Take away privileges like screen time or attending a special event if the room isn’t clean.
  • Keep all toys belonging to your child in his or her room without a place for toys in any other rooms in the house.
  • Leave the child in the room, shut the door, and don’t let him or her come out until the room is clean.

The ultimate lesson my husband and I have learned as parents when it comes to guiding children towards positive behaviors is that if you have to do the same punishment over and over again, then it is not working. Maybe you really do need to go into that room with a trash bag because you’ve allowed it to become filled with too much junk, but don’t rely on yelling, threats, and severe consequences to get your child to clean his or her room until you have first tried some of the following positive suggestions first.

What Works

While raising our five children, we have tried a multitude of strategies for getting them to chip in with chores, pick up after themselves, and keep their rooms clean. The most important thing we have learned about cleaning is that the ultimate goal isn’t for a perfect cleaning job with no effort on our part, but rather for our children to learn about the process along the way.

Below is a video tour of our children’s bedrooms along with some commentary from them about how their rooms are organized.

Here are some tips that have worked for us:

  • Make sure everything in the room has a home. I like to put things that are alike together in one spot and store them using baskets, bins, etc. I don’t typically label these containers, however, because I like to leave room for the contents to change based on what each child is into at the time. If the floor is littered with toys and there’s a question as to where they go, you (with the help of your child) should find them a home. Decide where the stuffed animals should go and how they should be arranged, have a place for books, and make sure every little toy, marker, basket, and structure has a place where it is supposed to belong. I cannot tell you how helpful this is!
  • Reorganize the bedroom to suit the needs of your child. Based on the furniture we have and the needs of each child, I really enjoy rearranging each room so it can maintain the best function for the space. Our oldest daughter Ruby, for example, really enjoys art so she has a desk for drawing and a space for all of her art supplies. Sometimes, a room just needs a little tweak here and there and some other times it needs a major overhaul. I like doing the major overhauls alone because kids are sometimes sad to see things change, but they always love seeing their “new room” when it’s done.
  • Only keep certain toys in your child’s room. In the video I shared earlier in this blog, you will notice that there are several places throughout our house where we keep children’s toys. I like to encourage everyone to play together as much as possible in central locations so I can hear what they’re up to while I’m doing other things, but children always love opportunities to play alone too! Having special toys in their room where they can get away from the hustle and bustle is a very important thing.
  • Keep it clean starting young. Children get used to having a clean and organized room (and house) and will enjoy playing in it more when they can find things. With my little ones (currently 3 and 4), I do all of the cleaning and organizing myself. If we are in the room together when I want to clean, I do sometimes get their help, but what typically happens is they get distracted playing, and then I slowly sneak away to do something else. 🙂
  • Be specific about what needs to be cleaned and give feedback. If I want my children to clean their rooms (usually when the whole family is working on chores) I don’t simply say, “Clean your room!” because this could mean like 12 different things. Instead, I break down each of the tasks that need to be done and have them report back to me after each task. To get it started, I’ll say something like, “I want you to pick up/clean/organize _________. ” Then I give them some time to do it, follow up by checking in to see how things are going, and finally helping where needed. Here are some examples of specific tasks children can do while cleaning their rooms. 
  • Put all of the clothes on the floor in the laundry bin.
    • Pick up all of the toys on the floor and put them in toy basket(s).
    • Neatly stack up all of the books and make a pile of the ones you don’t want to read right now.
    • Find all pieces of trash and put them in the trashcan.
    • Make your bed.
    • Pick up all of the stuffed animals and put them neatly where they belong.
    • Organize your toys in a way that you want to play with them.
  • Clean rooms when they are not around. This is probably the most controversial thing I will say, but it works really really well. After the big kids leave for school, I go in and tidy up their rooms. I make their beds, I put all toys where they belong, I straighten books, and I remove anything from the rooms that should be in the common area. If I want to tidy up their rooms when they are home, I will either get them to help me or I will do it when they are busy playing somewhere else. I never clean their rooms while they are lying on their beds doing nothing! I also like to tidy up the house and make sure everything is clean before we go to bed. If a child’s room is trashed or really messy, then whoever made the mess will help to clean it up, but if it’s just a bit of cleaning, I like to do it myself.
  • Work together for big messes and reorganization. If rooms are getting REALLY messy, I don’t view this as the problem of the child but rather a problem with the system. A really messy room may mean that there are too many toys or other certain items in the room or that there needs to be a better system of organization. This is when I get the big kids to help me out. We talk about what is causing the most clutter and together figure out a way to keep it clean.
    • Recently in Ruby’s room for example, I noticed big piles of random drawing utensils, so we worked together to get several small cups and put pencils in one, markers in another, pens in another, etc. She also accumulates large stacks of books because she likes to read so much, so together we will sort through the ones she’s not reading anymore and put them in one of the family bookshelves.
Ruby's Room (8)

Ruby’s Room (8)

In Conclusion

Learning how to keep a room clean requires many skills. As parents, it is our job to guide children as they learn these skills each step of the way. When we keep in mind that the goal isn’t a perfectly clean room, but children who are learning how to sort and organize things, how to appreciate cleanliness, and how to apply the skills we have taught them in their own way, then we can heave a big sigh of relief knowing that what we are really after is the process of cleanliness not the destination of a perfectly clean room.

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Setting Up an Outdoor Play Tent Sanctuary 

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Setting up a tent outdoors isn’t just for camping! Every spring, we set up a tent in our backyard to use as a sanctuary and a holding tank, and it has been a very beloved location, especially when we have little babies. In Michigan, we get REALLY excited when spring arrives! The problem is that even though the snow thaws, it’s still pretty chilly (and windy) until June. Having this permanent tent set up ensures that we always have a warm place to play that will allow us to enjoy the fresh outdoor air while staying protected from the elements.

Materials Needed

  • Tent – We usually just go to the nearest box store and pick up whatever is cheapest. (We learned the hard way this year, however, that it’s very important to make sure the tent has a window so you can get a cross breeze.) We’ve been setting up outdoor tents for the past 4 years and have never had a tent that lasts more than one year. By the time snow falls, the walls of the tent are so worn, they just rip apart. Because of this, we usually go with a cheap tent like this. This tent would be a a bit more luxurious and if you’re looking for a really permanent tent, you can go with one of these canvas tents.
  • Padding – Some foam padding like this 1-inch king size mattress topper (or this 4-inch mattress topper) will turn your tent into one big comfy bed!
  • Waterproof Cover – There is always a bit of water getting into the tent for one reason or another, so it’s a good idea to cover your foam padding with something like this.
  • Sheet – I like to put a fitted king size sheet over the waterproof cover.
  • Blankets – I don’t think we can ever have enough blankets in this household, so I am always on the lookout for good blankets like this at garage sales and thrift stores. I put one blanket down under the pillows and baskets of books and another blanket loosely on top. This second blanket can easily be taken out and shaken if it gets covered in sand and debris. This is also the blanket I’ll use if I want to have a blanket on the grass.
  • Pillows – Having about 3-4 pillows makes it really nice to stretch out for a little snooze.
  • Baskets – Wicker baskets like these are really nice for holding books and a shallow basket like this is really nice for holding toys.
  • Books – I love having a wide assortment of books, but I don’t keep my best out here in case of water or other damage.
  • Coloring Supplies – This is the first time I’ve included coloring supplies like coloring books, workbooks, blank notebooks, pencil boxes with pencils and crayons, and the bigger kids really enjoy it!
  • Toys – Because I have kids ranging from newborn to elementary school age, I have a variety of different toys that everyone can enjoy.
  • Little Chair – The kids especially love this little chair when I put it out on a blanket in the grass. Reading is always more fun when you’re in a little chair!
  • Diapers and Wipes – Because our tent is a little ways from the house, it’s nice to be able to change a diaper without having to go inside.
Outdoor Tent in Use

Outdoor Tent in Use

Directions

  1. Find a good location. It’s nice to have something that can be in shade or partial shade so it doesn’t get too hot in the summer. It’s also nice to have the opening of the tent facing an area of high activity so that you can see what’s going on when you’re in the tent and vice versa.
  2. Set up the tent. We keep our tent in the same spot every year, so after the grass died and it was all dirt, we leveled it with a rake to make it flat.
  3. Put some sheets of wood in front of the tent. You could also use a big rug or Astro turf, but basically you want something to keep grass and dirt out of the tent.
  4. Fill it with fun stuff. Based on the ages of your children, location of the tent, and the purpose of the tent, you will want to fill the tent with things to suit your needs. I like filling my tent with books, coloring supplies, toys, and pillows and blankets.
  5. Play inside the tent. I like to keep the tent closed if it’s going to rain, but as soon as we head out to play I like to open it up and let the kids come and go as they please.
  6. Use the tent as a holding tank. If we want to hang out outside with babies, I like taking a blanket out of the tent and putting toys, books, and the little chair on it.
  7. Keep it clean. When our tent gets full of sand, dirt, grass, and leaves, I am so happy that I keep my extra blanket nestled lightly on top so that I can easily shake it out. If it gets really dirty, I’ll take everything out and either sweep or use the leaf blower.

In Conclusion

We enjoy setting up our tent as soon as the snow is gone and leave it up until snow threatens to fall again. We have enjoyed having a tent every year for the past four years and will probably continue to enjoy one for many years to come.

*Update: We had a big windstorm that ripped our tent to shreds, so we opted for a bigger more expensive tent, and boy am I glad we did! My husband recently spent the night out here with our two older children, and they all loved it!

Our New and Improved Tent

Our New and Improved Tent

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Why We Are Giving Technology a Break

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Embracing Motherhood Why We Are Giving Technology a Break

It started out with educational apps on ipads, playing Starfall and Pixie 4 on the computer, and watching educational programs mixed in with a moderate amount of choice, but then we got lax on the rules and noticed one day that technology had taken over our lives.

We debated a gradual reduction or a reinforcement of the original rules, but it was too late for that…

We had to quit technology cold turkey.

First, the iPads

One evening, during our nightly wrestling routine with daddy, our daughter Ruby (6) just wanted to watch Digimon (I don’t even know how we came to allow this in the first place). Usually, we can ask her to put her iPad away and she does so graciously, but this time, there was ATTITUDE! When daddy asked her to put the iPad down, she flat out said no, and then when daddy got more stern she said,

“What are you going to do if I don’t?”

Hubba wha?!?!?!? We both looked at each other in shock! Where did this mouthy little teenager come from all of a sudden?? And so daddy said what all parents of teenagers must say,

“Trust me, you don’t want to find out!”

Well needless to say, we knew something needed to change. That night, I took all of the iPads and our touch screen computer and hid them away. I also unplugged our WiiU, Playstation, and computer in the homeschool room.

The Aftermath

We weren’t really sure how to handle the explanation of the disappearance of the touchscreen devices, and when Elliot asked me the next morning where they were, I relied on a little white lie to get me through it.

“Someone stole our iPads!” I explained.

Phew, that was easy. 🙂 Elliot was quite upset, but still a pretty easy sell. He said, “God must be mad at us to let this happen.” Honestly, I don’t know where he gets these notions!

But when Ruby came home from school, she was a little more skeptical. First she wanted to know every detail of said robbery including why they miraculously didn’t take my laptop. Smart girl. Then, she wanted to conduct an investigation including knocking on the door of every neighbor and writing letters to all of her classmates. When she wouldn’t drop it, I said, “You’re right, it probably wasn’t a robbery. I’ll bet Julian just took them and hid them somewhere.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just do it mom,” she asked.

I explained that no, I didn’t do it, but even if we had our iPads, we were going to restrict their use anyways because we didn’t like how addicted everyone was getting to them and the attitudes that were emerging as a result.

To explain the unplugged video games and computers, we said that we couldn’t afford the electric bill, and so we couldn’t play them until our budget was caught up. We talk about money and finances a lot, so although they were a little upset, they really understood and accepted this explanation.

Technology Free Days

The first day without technology was TOUGH! No ABC videos to distract Julian while I was cooking, no TV during breakfast, and no choice time to entertain them while I stole some time to myself.

As they engaged in play, it was almost like they forgot how to entertain themselves. So I sat on the floor and played with them as they went from room to room trashing everything in sight. I felt like I was constantly cleaning and constantly on the move!

We spent the rest of the day engaged in play outside, and my the end of the night, they were exhausted. So was I!

By the second and third day, something beautiful started to happen. They asked about their missing iPads less and less, the negative attitude was disappearing, and we were having so much fun as a family! Whenever it would get really quiet for awhile, I would worry, “Oh no! They found them!” But then I would sneak into the room to see them engrossed with reading, playing quietly, or find that they let themselves outside to play. It was beautiful.

“Why didn’t we do this sooner?” we wondered.

Well, at least we’re doing it now…especially as these fleeting summer days beg to be enjoyed.

It’s Okay to Be Bored

Children don’t need to be constantly entertained, and neither do we. Boredom is actually a gift, a mind break that allows us to come up with new and creative ideas. The longer our children went without technology, the less they relied on us to entertain them, the fewer messes they made as they became engrossed in sustained imaginative play, the more they interacted with each other and nature, and the closer we became as a family.

As we settled into this new routine, I started finding pockets of time for myself again to work out, blog, and create. Something else pretty amazing started happening too. As the children settled into their boredom, they were more interested in what I was doing and wanted to help!

Who knew that helping me make cookies, fold the laundry, and sweep could be so much fun!

The older ones were also more willing to pitch in and do chores, and I really appreciated their help. Ruby decided she wanted her job to be laundry, and so one day she helped me put daddy’s bin of clothes into the washing machine and put away her and Elliot’s clothes. Elliot said he was really good at picking up, so he picked up the toys in one room…then he got distracted and started playing with the toys, but hey, it’s a start!

Finding a Balance

After about a week of nothing, we decided that they (we) could watch one movie during rest time. Previously, they were engrossed in their own little iPad worlds watching toy videos on YouTube and Digimon on Netflix, but with a movie, it was something we could all cuddle up and watch together. We love finding old classics like the Last Unicorn, Little Nemo, and Home Alone and watching them over and over.

When school is out and summer gets into full swing, we plan on implementing our summer routine where the older kids have to do four workbook pages (handwriting, math, cursive, etc.), three activities, and one chore to have an educational computer choice (Pixie 4, Storymaker, working on Favorite Things books, etc.) or watch a movie.

We also are going to let them have 3o minutes (from 4:00-4:30 when daddy gets home) to have a choice to watch whatever they want if they good and do all of their work, activities, and chores. Having this time gives us some leverage (i.e. by taking away a positive reinforcement it becomes a logical consequence for misbehaviors).

In Conclusion

During the long winter months, we may bring back the WiiU, Playstation, iPads, and touchscreen computer in limited and regulated amounts, but we definitely agree that taking a break over the summer is what is best for everyone. Technology can serve a valuable role in many educational opportunities, but it is just too easy to let it be a babysitter and let limits slide until the devices seem to take over. Going cold turkey and taking a break really worked for us and is something we will continue to implement as needed with all things in life. *As a side note, if we need to do this again, I will just tell them honestly why we are taking a break rather than trying to make another story out of it. 

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Best Teaching Apps for Young Children (Ages 0-6)

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Embracing Motherhood Best Teaching Apps for Preschoolers

With these apps, a few good YouTube playlists, some simple flashcards, and a library card, you can teach your little ones to read, write, do basic math, and basically know everything they need to know for kindergarten. Children’s brains are primed and ready for learning at a young age…much earlier than we would think. They crave stimulation, they love learning, and they need to be challenged in their zone of proximal development. All of our children have learned to read at a young age, and technology definitely played a role. (*I do think it’s important to set limits and have routines in place with technology use.)

In my opinion, most of the good apps out there are designed specifically for iOS devices, and I have made a note for each app that can only be used on an iOS device. I know the price tag on Android devices can be tempting, but if you want to have access to the most and the best apps, I highly recommend getting an ipad (like this ipad 4 for $345 or an ipad mini 1 for $235) over any other tablet.

It can be somewhat challenging to teach a youngster how to use a touch screen at first. If your child is struggling with the concept of a touch screen, one of the things I have done is opened up the Starfall site on a computer and had the children touch the screen (pretending that it was a touch screen) while I controlled things with my mouse (hidden away of course). The best thing to do though, is to just sit down and play the games together. I recommend doing this anyways with all new games until they are familiar enough with them to play them on their own.

So without further adieu, these are the apps that I have used to teach my children the fundamentals of reading, math, and more.

1. Starfall ABCs (Free)

If you only get one app, get this one! It covers all of the letters of the alphabet (names and sounds) in one fell swoop. (Unlike ABC mouse that focuses too much on one letter at a time in isolation.) When you click on a letter, it shows both the upper and lowercase versions while saying their names. When you click on the letters, they say their letter sound, and then you click the green arrow to progress through a series of examples showing things that start with that letter along with simple and engaging animations.

Starfall ABC App

Starfall ABC App

The simplicity of the app is absolutely beautiful, and I love the way kids have to click various things to progress things along. Unlike a YouTube video (which can be great too), this gets kids engaged every step of the way. I love how there are little sparkles around where the child needs to touch (or click on a computer). It’s a very good way to teach children how to use touch screens.

Other Starfall Apps:

  • Starfall (Free): This is basically an app giving you access to the entire Starfall website. If you have a membership ($35/year and something I highly recommend), then you’ll have access to everything on the website (including the content of every app). But even without a membership, you can get limited access which will give you a pretty good idea of what’s on the site. I personally prefer using the entire site on the computer and paying for the apps.

    starfall app

    Starfall App

  • Starfall Numbers ($4.99): The layout of this app is very similar to the ABC app. There are numbers 1-20 (plus 25, 50, and 100) plus 7 interactive learning activities that have to do with counting, weight, money, and addition. When you click on a number, it says the number, and shows its quantity. Then you press the green arrow to see a series of examples showing that number. This app does an amazing job of teaching number names and quantities which are the foundations of math just as the ABCs are for reading.

    starfall numbers app

    Starfall Numbers App

  • Starfall All About Me ($1.99): Children get to design their character to look like them and then select categories such as, “Where do I sleep? What will I wear? Who am I? What is my pet? and Which is my toy?” My kids LOVE playing this game because they are very connected to the personalized content. I love the sentences where you have to fill in the blank with a single word that is personified by a corresponding image. It is a great pre-reading strategy!

    starfall all about me

    Starfall All About Me App

  • Starfall Learn to Read ($1.99): This is basically a collection of mini books sorted by vowel patterns. Each book starts with a little clip of how to pronounce the focused letter sound, and then you select the green arrow to progress through the pages. There’s a little ear you can press that will read the text out loud. For each page, you can tap the screen to facilitate some sort of movement. There are also eight “mini-lessons” on the bottom that teach additional reading skills.

    starfall learn to read

    Starfall Learn to Read App

  • Starfall I’m Reading ($1.99): This app has tons of books sorted by genre with plenty of interesting titles. Unlike the website version, this app automatically reads the text while highlighting what is being read in red.

    starfall I'm reading app

    Starfall I’m Reading App

2. Endless Alphabet ($4.99)

This app (and the other Endless apps) are designed for a bit of an older child than the Starfall apps, but I love introducing my children to higher level content with some guidance. This app does a wonderful job of teaching not only letter sounds, but how letters come together to form words, and what those words mean.

endless alphabet alphabetical order

Endless Alphabet App

When you open this app, you’ll find a variety of vocabulary words sorted alphabetically. After you select one, you first have to spell it by dragging the letters to their shadow (each letter is personified and makes its sound as you move it), then the meaning of the word is acted out by cute little characters that look they have been hand drawn on lined paper. This is very entertaining app, and all of our children have loved it!

Other Endless Apps:

  • Endless Reader (Free with in-app purchases): All words are sorted alphabetically, and just like in Endless Alphabet, you drag the letters to make a word.  Then you put the word (and sometimes other words) into a sentence, and the cute little characters act out the sentence. This is a fabulous app and teaching tool to help children learn how to read. I love it! It comes with six free words, and then it costs $5.99 to buy the Reader Pack 1 which has 20 words, $11.99 to buy each additional Reader Pack of 1-4, 5-8, or 9-12, or you can pay $29.99 to buy all of the packs.

    endless reader app image

    Endless Reader App

  • Endless Wordplay (Free with in-app purchases): This game really focuses on spelling because (unlike the other Endless apps) you have to spell the words in order. Each spelling lesson focuses on a certain pattern and the words you spell come to life with a cute little animation. You progress through each lesson on a large board that makes progression fun. It comes with 9 free words, then it costs $6.99 to buy the starter pack of 90 words, $11.99 to buy the remaining words, or $14.99 to buy all of the words. *This app is only available for iOS devices.

    endless wordplay

    Endless Wordplay App

  • Endless Numbers (Free with in-app purchase): When you click on a number, you first have to drag the number to its shadow (as you drag each number, it comes to life and says its name), then there’s a simple addition problem, and a cute little animation that shows the number. It comes with five free numbers, then it costs $6.99 for a starter pack of numbers 1-25, $11.99 for the remaining numbers, and $14.99 to buy all 100 numbers.

    endless numbers

    Endless Numbers App

  • Endless Spanish (Free with in-app purchase): This app is set up like Endless Reader where you select a word from an alphabetical list, drag the letters to spell the word, and then put the word (and other words) into a sentence that comes to life as cute little characters act out the sentence. It comes with six free words, then it costs $5.99 for a starter pack and $11.99 for all words. I love introducing young children to other languages when their brains are super open to it. *This app is only available for iOS devices.

    endless spanish

    Endless Spanish App

3. Easy Music ($3.99)

Just like learning to speak, learning to read, and learning how to do math, there is a logical progression to learning music. This app teaches notes, pitch, rhythm, and melody using beautiful landscapes and peaceful sounds. In one section, you can practice these music skills and in another you can make and record your own musical ensembles.

easy music app

Easy Music

Other Edoki Academy Games:

  • Montessori 1st Operations ($3.99) – Using simple graphics and easy to maneuver interactive features, this app teaches basic addition, subtraction, and doubles and halves. There are three different methods of practice in each category that are very good at teaching the core concepts. Every problem you get right gives you a point and you use your points to build a monster.

    montessori first operations

    Montessori 1st Operations

  • Zen Studio (Free, $1.99 to unlock all templates): Using a grid divided into triangles, you swipe your finger across either a boundless canvas or guided templates using a variety of colors to make different pictures. Relaxing music accompanies each stroke of the finger.

    zen studio main page

    Zen Studio

  • Crazy Gears ($2.99) – A puzzle game that allows you to manipulate colorful gears, chains, rods, and pulleys to pull yourself through each level. Each reasoning challenge was carefully designed to lay the foundation for careers in things like mathematician, computer scientist, and programmer.

    crazy gears

    Crazy Gears

  • The Sight Word Adventure ($1.99) –  Using 320 sight words (based on Dolch and Fry lists) spread across five levels in 10 different mini games (that focus specifically on hide-and-seek),this app is great for giving repeated exposure to sight words.

    the sight word adventure

    The Sight Word Adventure

  • Busy Shapes ($2.99) – This is really designed for a toddler and does an excellent job of teaching shapes, their relation to other objects, colors, and is a good intro for learning how to use a touch screen.

    busy shapes

    Busy Shapes

4. Montessori Crosswords ($2.99)

This game is GREAT for teaching phonics! You can choose from one of 44 sound clusters (i.e. short a, long e, oo sound, etc.) or from the other four word series of increasing phonetic difficulty (simple words with three sounds, words with consonant blends, words with digraphs, or words of any complexity).

montessori crosswords app screen shot

Montessori Crosswords App

When you choose a category, a picture pops up next to the number of boxes needed to spell the word. The word is spoken and the alphabet is listed below (all of the vowels are blue and the rest of the letters are red). The letters needed to spell the word are highlighted, and the other letters are faded. You drag the letters to spell the word and it is sounded out and read out loud. As you transition to the next word, you get to tap the screen and interact with some fun animation. My kids don’t usually enjoy playing this game on their own. It is more of a teaching tool that we sit down and use together.

Other Montessori Apps:

  • Montessori Numbers ($2.99): This app is great for teaching the association between numbers with the quantity they represent. It also helps to teach the decimal system and place value. There is even a place to trace numbers. *This app is only available for iOS devices.

    montessori numbers

    Montessori Numbers App

  • Word Wizard ($4.99): A talking movable alphabet in this app allows you to experiment with phonics and word building. It has three spelling activities that increase in difficulty, 184 built in word lists (about 1,800 words), and you can add your own words to create unique spelling quizzes. *This app is only available for iOS devices.

    montessori word wizard

    Montessori Word Wizard App

  • Writing Wizard ($2.99): This is a WONDERFUL letter tracing app that keeps kids engaged the whole time. As you trace uppercase letters, lowercase letters, numbers, and words a fun moving rainbow trail emerges. There are a lot of letter tracing apps out there, and this is one of my favorites!

    montessori writing wizard

    Montessori Writing Wizard App

5. Talking ABCs ($2.99)

This is a great app for teaching letter names! Every letter that you select is molded into a creature that starts with that letter. It is surprisingly mesmerizing to watch.

talking abcs

Talking ABCs App

When you press play, it brings you to the letter A, then you can swipe to the left to go through the whole alphabet or go back to the main menu. It also has four different games (find the letter, find the animal, spell a word, and puzzle) and an autoplay feature that will automatically progress through all of the letters. You can also get this app in Russian. *This app is only available for iOS devices.

6. Metamorphabet ($3.99)

This is an app that will not only teach the ABCs and alphabet vocabulary, but is something that will unlock a certain whimsical wonder in the mind of all users young and old alike.

metamorphabet

Metamorphabet App

The adventure begins with all of the letters on the main screen. When you select a letter, say A for example, every tap of the finger brings about another action. After several movements, the letter name is said and with each subsequent tap it moves a little more and one by one more vocabulary words are revealed such as antlers, arch, and amble. To go to the next letter, you click on the star in the top right hand corner to go to the next letter or you can click the shapes in the top left corner to go back to the main screen. Metamorphabet contains NO in-app purchases. *Available on iOS devices and PCs only.

7. Storybots ABCs (Free…)

This is basically just a collection of all of the Storybots ABC songs. Each song is about one minute long and cute little robots sing about each letter of the alphabet. In the app, you can select a letter from the main menu, or just progress through the letters alphabetically.

Storybots

Storybots App

You can also download this app that will give you access to all of their learning videos. The only problem is that these apps were free when I downloaded them awhile ago, but now it seems that you have to pay a $4.99/mo. membership fee which I don’t think is worth it at all. In doing so, so will get access to all of their printables too though which is nice. If you don’t want to pay the membership fee, just check out these playlists on YouTube…for free! *These apps are only available on iOS devices.

8. Dora’s Skywriting ABCs ($3.99)

If your child likes Dora, these apps will be a winner for sure! If not, you might want to skip them. 🙂

dora abc

Dora’s Skywriting ABCs App

In the uppercase, lowercase, and uppercase and lowercase letter games, you use Tico’s airplane to get nuts and trace the letters. Writing letters is more of an advanced skill, so this might be better for the older preschooler. I really like the letter and picture match game the best. In this game, you have to find the pictures that start with the featured letter. *All of the Dora apps are only available on iOS devices.

Other Dora Apps:

  • Dora’s Rhyming Word Adventure ($2.99): In this game, you match pictures that rhyme. Besides rhyming words, there are first sounds, last sounds, and inside sounds to match in different levels.

    dora's rhyming word adventure

    Dora’s Rhyming Word Adventure

  • Dora Hops Into Phonics ($2.99): To play, you have to match pictures with words, change one letter to make a new word, and then make Dora hop across the lily pads. There are also cute little game break games to play along the way.

    dora hops into phonics

    Dora Hops Into Phonics

  • Dora’s Dress Up Adventures ($2.99): In this simple app, you can change the background, dress Dora, and add a variety of props. For kids who enjoy Dora, this is really fun.

    dora's dress up adventure

    Dora’s Dress Up Adventure

  • Dora’s Ballet Adventures ($2.99): This is basically like a really interactive book. The words are highlighted as Dora reads them, and you get to do all sorts of actions.

    dora's ballet adventure

    Dora’s Ballet Adventure

Honorable Mentions

For the remaining apps, I didn’t want to do a full on review, because I think that the six apps and their affiliates that I’ve covered above are more than you’ll ever need, but these are apps that we have downloaded and enjoyed as well.

In Conclusion

If you use these educational apps in moderation as a teaching tool for your children, it can greatly enhance their learning experience. Teaching your child at home doesn’t have to be overwhelming and you don’t have to wait until they are in kindergarten to teach them how to read. Please check out my free reading resources to help you teach your child how to read.

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Why We Don’t Make Our Little Kids Pick Up After Themselves

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Embracing Motherhood Why We Don't Make Our Little Kids Pick Up After Themselves

First of all, let me clarify something. I’m not saying that I’ll never have my kids pick up after themselves, I’m not saying that I’m not currently teaching my children strategies for picking up after themselves, and I’m not saying that I’ll never teach them how to do chores. What I’m saying is that while our kids are little (all four are five and under), there are far more important things for us to focus on than whether or not they are picking up their messes.

I chose this picture of Ruby helping to fill the cat food as my featured image because it represents what I feel is a hallmark of success. She chose to do this on her own without any prompting or teaching from me. Lately, she has shown a desire to pitch in and help me out, and it completely warms my heart to find her “babysitting” Julian, getting a laundry hamper for her room, filling it, and then wanting to help me do the laundry, organizing the ponies in her room, and helping me pick things in the garden. This intrinsic motivation is what will allow her to progress farther than any preconceived notions I may have about where she should be or what she should do.

Why We Don’t Make Our Kids Pick Up

  • The time we interact with our children is valuable. When I think about the amount of time that our children are engaged in independent creative play, working on their basic needs (eating, going to the bathroom, getting dressed, etc.), and of course lots and lots of cuddle time, it doesn’t leave a lot of time for “instruction”. Their attention spans give me these small windows of time to work on the things that I really value and consider important. If I spent these rare teachable moments instructing my children on how to pick things up, I do not feel that it would not be as valuable as teaching things like number sense, the alphabet, reading, writing, and bigger concepts about the world based on their interests.
  • It would take them a long time to clean up, and it wouldn’t be up to my standards. Whenever I teach my children anything, I use the gradual release of responsibility model, meaning that I first model how to do something, then they do it with me, and finally I have them do it together or on their own. So basically, I would be spending hours upon hours of precious time teaching my children where all of the toys go, how they are sorted, how the arrangements continuously change, and how to adapt to this change. The very idea is not only insulting to my intelligence, but theirs as well.
  • I would have to hold them accountable. Whenever I teach my children a rule such as “Clean up your toys after you use them”, I can’t just mean “Clean up your toys only when I’m there to see it”, I have to mean “Clean up your toys all the time”. So I would have to follow them around from room to room ensuring that they indeed cleaned up every mess that they made. Frankly, the very idea of this is wearing me out!
  • I would rather that my children spend their time engaged in imaginative play. I remember when I was a little girl and my brother and I would take out all of the canned food and pots and pans from the kitchen, then take off all of the couch cushions, and finally use everything to make a little store. We would carefully set up all of the food and pans and take turns being the store owner and the customer, then we would play for hours! I also remember taking off all of the books from the bookshelf and playing library. I never once remember being expected to clean up any of these “messes”. (I say messes in quotes, because they weren’t messes to us, they were intricate worlds we created that we became immersed in.) Knowing that I would have had to put everything back “just as I found it” would have been so overwhelming and stifling that I probably wouldn’t have wanted to take out all of those items in the first place. Children need creative and imaginative play. Research has actually shown that their games of pretend have numerous cognitive benefits. Basically, it’s how children learn about and make sense of their world.
  • I would rather spend my time on more important things. Instead of following my children around while they are engaged in imaginative play to make sure that they are picking up after themselves, I would rather use this valuable time to prepare healthy homemade meals, clean up the kitchen, organize things in the background, set up new play and learning stations, prepare materials for guided instruction, or maybe even blog a little. Then, when I do engage with them, I will use my voice to speak to them about things that really matter to me. I will share my passions for learning, creativity, and writing, I will listen to what they are interested in and do my best to take their thoughts to the next level with my knowledge of the world and Socratic questioning (open ended questions that promote critical thinking), I will get down on the floor and play with them, and I will sit them on my lap and teach them about the world through a love of books.

Setting Up an Environment That’s Easy to Clean

  • Don’t cluster too many toys together, like in a playroom. Recently, we had a bedroom open up because our two older kids wanted to share a room, and so I turned it into a playroom. It was fun at first, but it was a concentration of too many toys that were always scattered on the floor. Not only that, but when the kids were playing up there, they were far away from me as I tried to get a few things done around the house. I prefer to spread small concentrations of toys around the house, and I’ve found that they are actually engaged for longer amounts of time and in deeper play when there are fewer toys available. Read more about how I set up this environment in my blogs: How to Create an Environment That Encourages Creative and Imaginative Play and Having a Clean House with Four Young Children…Is it Possible? 
  • Only keep out the toys that get played with. If there are toys out that don’t get played with, I put them away. If I keep them hidden for awhile, bring them out (I like to rotate my toys anyways), and they still don’t get played with, then I’ll get rid of them.
  • Get toys that encourage extended creative and imaginative play. I know that some people go so far as to say “no toys with batteries” or “only wooden toys”, and I don’t go that far, but close. My criteria is that if the toys we have engage my children for extended periods of time in creative and imaginative play, then they are worth keeping. It is also worth it for me to spend ten minutes cleaning up toys that engaged them for hours, but it is not worth it for me to spend twenty minutes cleaning up toys that only engaged them for five minutes.

How to Teach Kids About Chores

  • I involve my children in the jobs I am doing, and I make it fun. When I am cooking, the kids love helping me crack the eggs, stir the batter, and of course taste the batter! Not only are they learning about what it means to help, but they are learning valuable cooking skills that will aid them in the future. I encourage them to help me with whatever I am doing, but I don’t force it. Over time, the kids have enjoyed helping me put laundry into the washing machine, rinse dishes (but mostly play with the bubbles in the sink), pick vegetables from the garden, put dirty clothes in the hamper, empty their potties, and many other small jobs that someday they will be able to do on their own.
  • The kids like helping Daddy too. When Daddy is doing little projects around the house, the kids love following him around and “helping him”. They will hold nails or screws for him, try hammering things, stand on boards to hold them straight, sit on his lap on the riding lawnmower, unscrew and fix computers with him, and many other small jobs.
  • It’s a gradual release of responsibility that lasts for years. I think the toughest thing for kids is when we expect the whole from them when we haven’t taught them the parts. So when parents say “Clean your room!”, what does that even mean? The children might not know how to fold their clothes, how to hang them up, where to put their toys, where to put their books, how to make their beds, and so on. And you can’t just teach all of these things at once. It has to happen layer upon layer in a gradual way over many many years.
  • Using backwards design as a template. When I think about chores with the end in mind, I wonder, “What do I want my children to know, understand, and be able to do by the time they are adults?” Well, I want them to know how to crack an egg, how to shake a rug, how to angle the broom to get under the cupboards, how to fold clothes so you can see the top of the shirt, how to do laundry economically, how to use different brushes to clean different dishes, how to change a vacuum bag, and so many other little things. I want them to understand the value of a clean home and how we take pride in the things that we have by keeping them clean and in working order. And finally, I want them to be able to do all of these things when they are grown and on their own; this includes my daughters and my sons (You’re welcome future spouses!).

Tips and Tricks

  • If you take something out, play with it. I will lay down the law if I see my kids pick up toy after toy and discard them about the room without even playing with them. That is not okay with me.
  • Don’t throw things inside. We really only had to make this rule for our son Elliot because he would throw things that would and could hurt people, but it was also a really quick way for him to make a tremendous mess. We tell him he can throw things outside as much as he wants.
  • Put caps back on markers. Since my kids are capable of it, I expect that they will put the caps back on the markers after they are done using them. Before I expected them to do this independently, I first modeled how to do it and showed them how to make sure the caps clicked on so that they were securely fastened and how different caps fit different markers. I also explained what would happen if we didn’t put the caps on the markers, and how we couldn’t afford to keep buying new markers all the time. Before I expected them to do this independently, I worked with them side by side to make sure they were doing this right. (I give you this detailed example to show the depth of teaching that I put into all of the parts that will one day lead to the whole of me saying, “Clean up this mess!”)
  • Clean when the kids aren’t looking. If you try to clean in the same room as the kids are playing in, it’s a futile attempt because they’re just going to keep making a mess, and you’re going to get frustrated. That’s not to say that you can’t tidy up a bit when they’re distracted, but I’ve found it’s easier to just wait until they’ve moved on to another project in another room. Also, I don’t think it’s good for kids to have to think too much about the cleaning I have to do. I don’t want to thwart their creativity by constantly reminding them that I’m the one who’s got to clean up all of their messes, and I don’t want them to feel entitled to having me clean it up. I just want it to be clean without them even thinking about it. I’m like a magic little elf who works behind the scenes!
  • What to do if kids get defiant about helping pick up occasionally. From time to time, you’ll need your kids to help you pick up (or do any other number of chores), and if they flat out refuse to help you on the rare occasion that you ask for help, then you’ve got bigger issues on your hands, and I recommend you reading my blog: Guiding Children Towards Positive Behaviors for some tips on how to nip that attitude in the bud with positive parenting.

How Kids Learn

Kids learn by observation and immersion. We shouldn’t have to tell our children (constantly, that is) to say please and thank you, they should hear us modeling it all the time (if this is something we choose to model) and it should become second nature to them. I remember when Ophelia was just learning how to talk and kept saying “I know!” over and over again. We were like, “Where did that come from?” but then when we were out walking one day having a great conversation and saying, “I know!” back and forth to each other, it finally dawned on us.

If we value having a clean home, if we model what it means to take the time to organize and clean our living space, if we involve them in the process along the way, and if we gradually release them to be able to do these jobs independently, then it won’t be something that they need to be constantly reminded about, cleanliness will be second nature to them. It will be so ingrained in their very fiber that they will crave it, and they will find a way to make it work without even thinking about it.

Future plans

People often ask me what we’ll do with our children when they’re older, or they’ll make me promise to them that I’ll do such and such when they are teenagers, and all I can say is that it is an ongoing work in progress, and there is no way that I can look into the future right now and know exactly what I’ll be doing or how I’ll be doing it. The way that my husband and I parent is by keeping the big picture in mind while focusing on the details at hand. We know that we want to raise well mannered caring children who have confidence, creativity, passion, and skills that will help them succeed at whatever they choose to do. We want them to know without a shadow of a doubt that they are loved, not just by our words, but through our actions as well. We know that when they are teenagers, we will have long chats with each other into the night about their well-being, growth, progress, and goals – just as we do now.

Right now, when we look at the details and the big picture, we see that there are more important things to focus our energies on than having our children pick up every single “mess” (or remnants of creativity left behind) that they make. As they get older and are capable of more, this may change, but for right now, this is what works for our family.

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